Sweet Sincerity
by MymymyHello
Summary: In a dark turn light is hard to find. Lies and betrayal are to come into contact with SweetTooth's life, and once it does he has absolutely no idea how to handle it. Choices, decisions, and the challenges of growing up are thrown to his lap. Someone's gonna have to get hurt, intentional or not. Please give reviews. Rated T for sexual content, sexual situations, profanity, violence
1. Who I Became

I rolled over, "Two-Bit?"

I sat up, "Two-Bit?"

Grabbing my pants I jumped out of bed, opening up the bedroom door.

I looked around, soon hearing Ms. Mathews' voice coming from the living room.

"…If they moved _now_, though," she began, "how much would that cost me...uh-huh…that can't happen, can it...look, I just want my son and his friend to have a nice place to stay, that's all. C'mon, you know that this isn't a social call, Ben. I need this for them. They _need_ this…it's been a whole year, I just want to do something nice for my son and his friend…"

_"Friend"? "Friend"?_

Since when does Ms. Mathews call Two-Bit and me just friends?

I was confused. Surprised, in fact. Ms. Mathews didn't seem like the kind of woman that would call us friends when we were in fact dating…

But then I remembered what else she was saying: "If they moved…" "I just want my son and his friend to have a nice place to stay…"

I sighed and realized what she was doing.

I smiled.

She was a great mother, Ms. Mathews.

Before I went back to bed I had a jolly rancher or two, then realized Two-Bit left me a note next to the bed: "Marcia called me. Be back in an hour."

I smiled and removed my pants, lying back down on the bed.

As expected, when I woke up Two-Bit was in my arms.

I kissed his cheek and got out of bed, stretching and pulling on my pants and shirt.

Entering the kitchen I smelled bacon, "Morning, Ms. Mathews."

"Good morning," she smiled, "Scrambled?"

"Sunny side." I told her, pulling out the orange juice.

"You've got it." She cracked an egg.

I poured myself a glass, my hair in my eyes from my lack of will to give it a cut.

Putting the juice back in the fridge I sipped out my glass, the cool juice refreshing my dry throat.

I pushed my hair out my eyes and took another sip of juice.

"Ms. Mathews," I began, "I wanted to thank you for letting me stay here. Since Aunt Fiona moved up to Washington State…and Two-Bit and me started to be…um…"

She looked at me and smiled, "It's not a problem, Sweet. I mean, you got my son to get a job, he's even considering going back to school."

I smiled, "I didn't get him to do-"

"You got him to fall in love." She interrupted.

I looked at her nervously, "Ms. Mathews…"

"You've pushed him outside his comfort zone and made him become an adult," she placed her spatula down, "Thank you, SweetTooth. You've been a real blessing to him and me."

Smiling I hugged her. She calls us in love in person…but why did she say friends on the phone?

Once we separated I had to ask her, "Ms. Mathews, do you truly believe Two-Bit and I are in love?"

She shrugged, "That's for you to decide."

"No, I mean, do _you_ think we're dating?" I asked her.

She looked confused, "Yes…"

"Then," I felt rather mean doing this, "why did you call me his friend last night when you were on the phone?"

She sighed and turned off the stove, placing the eggs on three different plates.

She then turned to me, "People don't like same-sex couples, Sweet. I wanted to get you and my son a home of your own so you two can have a place to call your own and a place to fully establish a healthy relationship. If I told him my son had a boyfriend I wouldn't have gotten you two the place."

I nodded in understanding, "Thank you, Ms. Mathews."

"Don't mention it," she smiled, "The house is in Jersey, anyway."

I cocked an eyebrow, "What's wrong with Jersey?"

She began to laugh, "It's not here, and that's the problem."

She looked sincerely at me, "You need to move. I love having you two but you boys _need_ to continue your lives. You need to move passed Tulsa. You aren't going to get anywhere here, especially with you and Keith's relationship. One piece of advice: Don't end the relationship 'cause people don't approve, understood?"

I nodded and she smiled, "Good," she looked at the clock, "Could you please get him up? He can't be late for work."

I sipped my juice and headed into the bedroom, placing my glass on the counter.

"Hon," I shook him lightly, "Two-Bit?" I got on top of him and smacked him playfully, "Keith."

He groaned and opened his eyes, "Sweet, what time is it?"

"Too late. You'll be late for work." I began to get off him, but soon he pulled me from behind and kissed me.

He looked into my eyes, "Good morning."

I kissed him, "Good morning."

I felt him smile on my lips as I wrapped my arms around him, his arms running up and down my back.

Once the kiss ended I sat up and so did he, "Your mom made breakfast."

"Bacon?" He pulled on his pants.

"With a sunny side." I smiled and tossed him his shirt.

He stood and I followed.

He walked into the dining room, "Food!"

"Keith, could you grab the forks, please?" Ms. Mathews placed out the plates as I got out two more glasses.

"Why do _I_ have to do the forks?" Keith whined as he pulled out three forks.

"If you lived in your own place you could get Sweet to do it," she said, "or a maid if this new job holds up."

"It shall hold an entire nation!" Two-Bit said triumphantly as he placed the forks out.

I smiled and sat down at the table once Ms. Mathews and Two-Bit were ready.

"Must we thank God?" Two-Bit took his seat.

"You're gonna be late," she got herself some bacon, "God knows you care."

"He does?" I asked, Two-Bit smacking my shoulder.

Ms. Mathews snickered, "Oh, I got a call from Steve early this morning."

I almost choked on my egg, "Really?"

"Don't keep secrets," Two-Bit served himself some jelly, "Come on, what he say?"

Ms. Mathews purposely took a while to chew her toast, and then answered, "They're moving up the wedding date to late this year in December."

"Really?" I was surprised. They seemed so certain it wasn't going to be until the next year.

Two-Bit cocked an eyebrow and looked at me, "We still gotta host his bachelor party, right?"

"In due time, Two-Bit," I told him, "Blondes and dead Socs come later."

"There are no Socs in Alabama," Ms. Mathews, "You know that, right?"

"Ain't nothing in Alabama at all, mom." Two-Bit said, soon getting a flicker of water tossed at him from her.

"We'll make it there," I smiled as Two-Bit wiped the drops out his eyes, "won't we, Two-Bit?"

"Long as I'm not blinded by this water for life." Two-Bit continued to wipe the water away.

She looked at the time, "Keith, you gotta go."

"I'm taking the day off!" he said, "Case of temporary blindness."

"Oh, hush up!" she smiled, helping him up and handing him a piece of jellied toast, "Have a good day." She kissed his cheek.

He kissed her cheek, "If I weren't twenty-one I'd report you for child abuse."

"And I'd report you for underage drinking." She handed him his beer as he rolled his eyes.

"Bye, baby," I kissed his lips once she went back to her seat, "See you tonight."

He smiled and sipped his beer, "Yes, you shall."

Heading out the door I waved to him, soon realizing his car needed a push start.

By noon I had to head to the bookstore, not really in the mood to go.

"That'll be nine dollars, ma'am." I told a young girl.

She handed me a ten, "Keep the change."

I smiled, "Will do."

As she headed out I heard a male voice enter, "Hello, Sweet Tooth."

I looked up and almost dropped my money.

Socs.

There were three.

I'm twenty-one-years-old. I can handle this.

I held my ground, "Hello."

They smirked and continued to walk around the bookstore.

One of them knocked over a shelf, "Oops!"

I came out from behind the counter, "You pick that up, you piece of shit."

The other two came over as he made a smug grin, "Make me."

I whipped out my switch and held it under his chin, "Do it."

The other two pulled out blades as well, making me outnumbered.

I sighed, putting the blade away and sticking it in my pocket. _Ten minutes till break. Ten minutes till break…_

For a whole ten minutes they continuously made my job harder and harder, until my break finally came up.

I stood up after cleaning the coffee they spilled on a Mark Twain book, "Take it outside. You, me, now."

Whipping out their switches I whipped out mine. I was tired of this. I didn't want to deal with these rich bastards anymore. I already had my stitched up arm, but I wasn't going to take this shit.

Walking outside I didn't even wait to get to a lot. I punched one of them across the face, the others punching me.

I held my ground. I got one in the jaw and the other in the sac as one got their knife on my arm, but it was only a scratch.

Taking my switch I got one lightly on the cheek, soon picking up a bottle on the floor and smashing his head with it.

He fell to the ground, one of the standing ones pinning me against the ground.

"Fine then, Grease," one grunted, "we'll just give you a haircut and we'll go."

I tried to kick, but they were too strong. He took his switch and held it up to my bang, cutting the hair away.

I screamed, and after three more cuts someone came by, scaring the three off.

_I'm twenty-one_, I thought to myself. _Why can't I act like it?_

Sitting up I saw my savior was another greaser.

"Thank you," I told him.

He got me to my feet, "Don't mention it. Ken Phelps."

I shook his hand, "SweetTooth Collins."

He stopped shaking, "You're…you're SweetTooth?"

I nodded, "Yeah…"

"Oh…" he pulled his hand away, "I…I gotta go-"

"Wait!" I called, but he had already run off.

_What in hell?_ I asked. I didn't bother finding out. I picked up some of my hair's remains and walked back inside the store.

Arriving home, Two-Bit was already there, Ms. Mathews telling him something.

"Mom, I love you!" Two-Bit grabbed his mother and hugged her.

"What's going on?" I couldn't help but smile at the scene.

Ms. Mathews turned, "Sweet, I found you two a place!"

I sat down, "What? Where?"

"In happy Merryland!" Two-Bit said excitedly, "Same city as Darry and Pony! Isn't it great?"

I laughed happily, "It's wonderful."

Two-Bit walked over to the phone, "I'll be telling Pony to watch out for some newcomers."

I smiled and hugged Ms. Mathews, "Thank you so much."

She hugged back, "Don't worry about it."

We separated, "You got Steve and Evie a place, you've gotten me and Two-Bit a place…my God, you are a goddess."

She blushed, "You're all good kids. You all deserve good starts."

I hugged her once more as Two-Bit told Pony about "Socs moving into your neighborhood". I smacked his shoulder for that lie, but he went on anyway.

I stuck the hairs into a plastic bag I found in the kitchen. It was to remind me of my last fight; time to grow up.

After dinner I went to bed, removing my shirt and my pants like I always did. Two-Bit soon joined me and got comfortable in my arms.

" 'Night, baby." He said.

" 'Night." I responded.

For a while we lay there in silence, but then I remembered the note he left me before.

"Two-Bit?" I whispered. He made a sound of recognition, "What was wrong with Marcia?"

He sighed and began to answer, "She found something out about Cherry."

My fingers brushed against his sideburns, "What was it?" I didn't mean to be so nosy.

Two-Bit shrugged, "It was nothing."

My voice was stern, "Two-Bit."

He got out of my grasp so he could look my in the eyes. Even in the darkness they reflected well.

"I swore not to tell, 'kay?" he told me, "It was for my ears only."

"At least is she okay?" I had to know. Cherry was my friend.

He paused, "She's fine."

After a hesitant moment I came to the conclusion that I didn't believe him, but once he got back into my arms I closed my eyes and put my worries to the side.

We were to move in ten days. In ten days my life would take a completely different turn. In ten days there would be no more Socs.

Sounded like heaven to me.

The next day I called Aunt Fiona and told her the news, her age making it difficult for her to understand what I was trying to tell her.

At times I wonder why I even bother. I know she's my only family, but I have never really known her. She was never really there for me when I lived with her or even when she moved out. I was just a kid under eighteen who was her responsibility.

Days passed and soon more and more people became distant from me. _Was this involving Cherry?_

Whatever it was it was getting worse by the day.

Then I remembered what Ms. Mathews said about calling Two-Bit and me "friends".

_Do they know about us?_

Becoming worried I dared to go into Soc territory. I just needed some answers.

I told Marcia to meet me outside the theatre, which she did on time.

"Hey, Sweet." She smiled.

"Hi, Marcia." I said.

She looked concerned, "What's wrong?"

I sighed, "Two-Bit tell you we're moving?"

She smiled once again, "It's a great thing, Sweet. I'm gonna miss you and all, but it's all for the better," she became confused, "is…is that why you wanted to see me?"

I sighed and pulled out a piece of chocolate, chewing it nervously, "What else have you heard around here about me and/or Two-Bit?"

She seemed to hold her breath.

I took another bite, "Marcia, I deserve to know!"

Sighing she leaned up against the wall, which I did as well.

There was moment before she spoke, "People have seen that you and Two-Bit are living in the same house. That's why those guys gave you trouble the other day."

I angrily tossed the wrapper on the ground.

Marcia looked at me, "I didn't say a word, I swear! Unfortunately, people around here like putting two and twos together to get fours, and they figured out that you and Two-Bit living in the same house makes four," I put my face in my hands, "I'm really sorry, SweetTooth."

Exhaling heavily in my hands I removed them, "It's okay, Marcia. I'm an adult, I can deal with this."

She rubbed her hand on my back.

She then looked at her watch, "Sweet, I have to go, but I'll see you before you and Two-Bit move, okay?"

I nodded, "Okay."

She began to walk off, but I remembered Cherry, "Marcia?"

She turned, "Yes?"

I really wanted to know how she was, I wanted to make sure she was really "fine", but I couldn't do that to Two-Bit. I couldn't make it look like he told me anything.

I grinned, "You look good in that dress."

She looked at her outfit, "Oh, thank you, SweetTooth," she smiled and pulled out a candy, "You've earned it."

I caught it. She made my day, "Your candy corn? My god, Marcia, I _love_ these!"

"Stay sweet and they'll be more of them." She told me, smiling and walking off.

I took out one and let it melt in my mouth. _Damn, I love Marcia._

With the impulse to not go home I decided to make a call at a near by phone booth.

"Yo?" I heard a voice answer.

I smiled, "Hello, Jared."

"Whoa! It's the sweet tooth! Look out!" He joked.

"Is Dallas home?" I asked him.

He made an alarmed sound, "So, you only talk to Dally now, huh?"

"Jared, please just put him on, 'kay?"

I could practically hear him rolling his eyes, "Whatever."

He handed off the phone, "Hello?"

"Hey, Dallas." I said.

"Sweet?" he sounded tired, "Hey, man. What's up?"

"Two-Bit and me are moving to Maryland," I told him, "I just wanted to let you know."

"Nice, man," he laughed, "nice. How's Cherry?"

I scoffed, "Dally, she's in Tulsa and you're in New York. It ain't-"

"Hey, you never know, man," he said, "You never know."

I smiled, "Well, I just wanted to say 'hi'."

"Good to hear from you, man." He said.

"You too," I said, "See you Dally."

"Steve's bachelor party?" he asked, "The wedding's been moved to December. What you planning for it?"

"Girls and beer," I told him, "I think you'd be better at it, though."

"Want me to take it over?" He asked.

I almost gasped, "Would you? Could you?"

He snickered, "This is Dally you're talking to, Sweet. Of course I can."

I smiled, "Thanks, man."

"No problem." He said, and I could hear him lighting a smoke.

"All right, I gotta get home," I told him, "but I'll be seeing you."

"Cool," he exhaled, "See you, Sweet."

"Bye." I hung up the phone; rather relieved Dally had taken over.

Walking I still didn't want to go home. I guess what Marcia said affected me more than I thought.

I knew where to go.

Walking passed the candy shop I bought myself a pack of Twizzlers and continued walking to my main destination.

The streetlights came on as I passed the church, entering the graveyard.

Passing through the several graves I searched for two in particular.

I found one of them and knelt down, "Hey, Soda. How you doing?" I pulled out something I had been carrying around all day, "I had been saving this for you. I figured you'd want one," I placed a Pepsi on his grave, "Your brother's doing quite well in college. So are me and Two-Bit. We'll be moving to Maryland. We'll be near Pony and Darry! Isn't that great?"

I smiled and placed my hand on the gravestone, "I miss you, Sodapop," I held onto the grave, "I really do."

Taking a moment to really soak up the emotions I had been feeling I sighed, letting out all my tension.

I had one more person to find…

I walked over, and soon enough I found Johnny's grave…

But there was someone else there.

Someone I had seen once before.

I hid behind a near by tree. _Mrs. Cade? Didn't she hate Johnny?_

She was bawling.

Placing flowers on the grave she wiped her eyes. She actually looked a lot more organized than I had ever seen her, and then I noticed something…

_No wedding ring?_

She took a while to cry and then calmed down, wiping her eyes and kissing the grave goodbye.

Once she was fully out of sight I walked up to see how gorgeously arranged the flowers were.

I smiled and knelt down to level with the grave.

"Hey, Johnny," I placed my hand on the stone, "Two-Bit and I are gonna be moving up to Maryland where Pony and Darry live. And guess what: Steve's getting married. Yeah, he finally came around with Evie. This December. I promise to tell you all about it, all right?"

Smiling I decided to say more, "Your mother loves you, Johnny. I know it didn't seem like it…but she does. She really does. And so does Dallas. And so do I."

I hugged the stone, "I didn't know you, Johnny Cake," a tear came down my cheek, "but I sure miss you."

Separating and wiping my eyes I patted the grave, soon standing and making my way from the graveyard to my home.

I passed by Steve's old home, the DX, the Curtis', everything.

It felt good to see my hometown.

A kid was playing cards on the sidewalk, an older one coming over and kicking them over. The younger one cried, a girl coming over and telling the older one off. The older ran off, the girl helping the younger one rebuild his creation.

I smiled.

_I'm going to miss it here_.

Pulling out a Twizzler I opened the door to see Ms. Mathews asleep on the couch, apparently on top of a book.

I placed the blanket over as lightly as I could and turned the light off, walking into the bedroom to find Two-Bit asleep as well.

I pulled off my pants and kicked my shoes into a corner. Removing my shirt I kissed Two-Bit's cheek and got under the covers.

_Tomorrow, everything changes. Tomorrow, my life takes an entirely new turn. Tomorrow, my life really begins. Tomorrow, my life takes a turn for the better…_

_…At least I hope so._


	2. New Life

She wouldn't stop ringing the bell.

"Mrs. Tilton," I called, "you have to be p-"

"The birthday party is in thirty minutes!" she yelled, "I need to be back by then!"

"Didn't I ask for my pie an hour ago?" Another man shouted.

I rolled my eyes while kneading dough, "Actually ten minutes."

Myrna dropped two containers in front of Mrs. Tilton, "There. Three dozen cupcakes."

Mrs. Tilton tossed a hundred dollar bill at her, "Thank you for wasting my time!" and picked up the containers.

Myrna withheld the urge to flip her the finger by biting her lip, which she did often. I chuckled, and she began dealing with the other customer.

As always, Trudy would come in every Monday and Friday with her order of two honey muffins.

"Hey, Trudy." I called as Trevor handed another customer a cinnamon cake.

"Hello, SweetTooth," she sang, "How are you today?"

"Mighty fine," I answered, pulling her order out the oven, "You?"

"Will not complain." She placed her purse on the table.

One of the customers rang the bell, "Stop flirting with your girlfriend and give me my cake!"

"Sir, she ain't my girlfriend," I told him, "and I am giving her her order."

I placed the muffins in their containers and hand her the order, "That'll be-"

"$8.30." She handed me the money.

I accepted it, "Sorry it's so expensive."

"You make the best sweets in town, Sweet," she smiled, "I don't care about the price."

I smiled, "Much appreciated, Trudy."

"Not a problem," she took the muffins, "Any time."

She waved to Myrna and then waved to me. As she left Trevor came up from behind me, "She _is_ attractive, Sweet."

"Go for her yourself," I told him, "and get back to makin' those butter pecan pies."

He made a face at me and went back to work, Myrna coming over to me with an order of cupcakes, "Ms. Hendricks wanted all of them to be with vanilla frosting, but we ran out after Mrs. Tilton showed up."

I took a minute to think, "I'll call Jo. She should give me a discount by now."

"Can you also tell Ms. Hendricks about the delay?" She asked as I picked up the phone.

"Only if you handle our customer over there with the hood and shades," I told her, " 'cause I think Trevor's too scared."

"I wanna be a cop in my future, Sweet," Trevor smacked me upside my head with this glove, "That isn't anything I can't handle!"

I negotiated very easily with Jo, and as expected she gave the discount I needed.

"Thanks a million, Jo." I told her.

"You owe me one." She grunted as I hung up the phone and began to dial the number Ms. Hendricks gave us.

"Sweet!" Trevor called from the register, "Sweet!"

"Yeah?" I asked as I finished the number.

"Make your cake." He said.

I almost dropped the phone.

I smiled as he smirked at me.

Handing the phone off to Myrna I put on my apron, "One SweetTooth Supreme comin' right up!"

"That's SweetTooth?" I heard a voice ask, "I thought it was a woman."

"Looks like one, don't he?" Trevor accepted her money; me too excited to shoot one back at him.

My specialty was this cake. In my mother's cookbook she had left me there was this cake recipe. However, I changed a few aspects of it, thus creating my specialty cake.

The frosting whipped around my finger, and as I tasted it so perfectly I couldn't resist licking my fingers.

Placing the cake lightly and nicely into its container I handed it off to the young woman.

"All yours, ma'am," I told her, "I hope you enjoy."

"By the joy you had making this," she took the cake, "I think I'll have to."

Smiling I waved as she paid her money and headed out the door.

Myrna came over and leaned on her arm, "I cannot believe how much your damn recipe, and you in general, has affected this place, Sweet. Before you our specialty was being here earlier than the others."

I shrugged, "I just had a cookbook, Myrna. A cookbook and an apparent knack for cooking."

She looked at the clock, "Time to pack it up."

"You said it!" Trevor removed his head net and began to wipe down the counter.

Myrna went to make a phone call as I removed my hair net, my bangs falling in front of my face.

"I got the stove this time." I announced.

"I love you!" Trevor yelled, Myrna shushing him.

"Yeah, it's me," Myrna smiled into the phone, "So, are we still on for tonight…Wonderful…You're so funny…Okay…See you then. Bye."

"Got a date?" I questioned as I wiped down the stove.

She smiled, "Not like it's your business, but yes, I have a date."

"It's not that creepy one-eyed customer from yesterday, is it?" Trevor asked, "I know he gave you a tip, but that's just wrong."

"No, it is not Mr. Connors, Trevor," she responded, "I may be thirty, but that is _not_ how I roll."

"Right." Trevor said, now moving onto mopping.

I finally finished the stove, "I hope he's nice to you, Myrna, and I hope you like him."

She smiled, "So do I."

"Well, why don't you go get ready and Trevor and I will finish things up around here." I suggested her, and I heard Trevor drop the mop behind me.

She questioned this, "Oh yeah?"

I nodded, "Of course."

She hugged me, "Thanks, Sweet. I owe you one?"

"You owe _me_!" Trevor yelled from behind me as Myrna grabbed her purse.

"Not a thing," I said, "Just go and have a good date."

"I will try." She walked out the door, Trevor coming up to me angrily.

"What the hell, man?!" He yelled.

"Why? You got a date too?" I asked him.

He grunted, "I was trying to find one at the least! But apparently I volunteered for overtime."

I snickered, "Hey, you're leavin' early today."

"Thank god it's Friday, right?" He sighed.

I smiled, "Yup. Thank god it's Friday."

He grabbed the mop and began to mop again, "Why don't you ask Trudy out, Sweet? She not your type?"

I hesitated, "I'm in a relationship."

He looked up from the floor, "Oh yeah? Who is she? Is it-"

"Ms. Taylor? No way." I told him.

"Then who?" Trevor put the mop away and got ready to put the dough away.

I didn't know how to answer. I've already said too much, "They're very special. You don't know them."

"They must be a beauty if you aren't leaving them for Trudy." He placed the dough away and I closed up the displayed dishes.

"She's open for you, at least." I shrugged.

He laughed, "Girl like that with me? I bet she likes nature freaks, Sweet."

"Then, how would me datin' her make sense?" I put the leftover cakes in the fridge.

"You got long hair," he said matter-of-factly, "Women who see that think immediately of nature activists."

"Well, we are both blonde," I told him, "but I'm happy in my relationship, all right?"

"One of the few things I learned from jail, other than to never go," he began, "it's that you can never have too many partners."

"Please remind me why you were in there." I could never remember.

He removed his apron, "Shoplifting when I was nineteen. Mom thought I was going to Juvy."

I laughed, "She did?"

"Yeah," he grabbed his keys, "Only real thing that sucks about going if the fact that it's on my permanent record."

"You were a kid, you didn't know." I said.

"Well, I knew better," he said as I removed my apron, "I just chose to ignore it. Need a lift?"

I thought about it, "Mind stoppin' by the grocery store?"

"What you need? I may have it in the truck." He said.

I snickered, "Still know how to shoplift, huh?"

He shrugged, "Might as well use what God made me as."

"A sticky-fingered baker who's actual dream is to be a cop?" I asked, walking out the door.

"And God's gift to all women." He closed and locked the door on his way out.


	3. Us

Putting the green beans in their pot I went back to checking the pork chops.

"Fry, damn it. Fry!" I added more olive oil. He would be home soon.

I heard the door open and keys be placed down, "Hey, baby."

"Hey there!" I called from the kitchen.

Two-Bit walked in, kissing me the way he always did, me slipping him a bean between our lips.

He chewed, "What was that?"

"Dinner," I handed him the oven mitt, "which you are finishing. I'm taking a break."

As I left the room he slipped on the mitt and checked the corn, "Sweet, how do you work at a bakery all day and then come home to cook?"

"I have my ways," I told him, " 'sides, I got out early today. It's Friday, remember?"

"Hard to forget." He said as he aimlessly stirred the green beans.

I pulled out jellybeans and began to eat all the red ones. I just had a craving for red jellybeans all day.

"How'd work go?" I ate the last red one.

"My ears," he began, "are still rattlin from the music at that bar. You have any idea how loud costumers are over music? I didn't even know a drunk could be that noisy."

"Now you know how I feel." I joked.

He tossed his mitt at me, "Ha. Very funny. You know, I haven't got drunk since we moved up here?" I cocked an eyebrow, "I mean I drink but I ain't got drunk," he slipped another bean in his mouth, "What have you done to me?"

"Turned you sober." I ate a yellow one.

"Damn you," he responded, serving two plates, "Well, I'm at least lucky that I work there from eleven to nine. There are drunks even in the afternoon, I should know."

I smiled at him, the phone ringing and me answering it.

"Yello, this is SweetTooth." I said.

"And this is Iris," the other line said, "How do you do, Sweet?"

I gasped, "I'm great! How you doin', Iris Curtis?"

"I'm fine," she responded, "Just wanted to know if we're all still on for Sunday evening."

I paused, "Sunday evening?"

Two-Bit stopped halfway through putting the plate down on the table.

"We still on for dinner?" she asked, "You and Two-Bit, me and Darrel."

I didn't know about this, but it was obvious Two-Bit did.

I made a face at him as he placed the plates down and began to leave, but I grabbed him by the back of his shirt and made him sit down.

"Of course, Iris." I mouthed to Two-Bit: "you're dead!"

"Oh, good," she said, "See you then. Bye."

"Goodbye," I hung up the phone and smacked his arm, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It was a surprise!" he explained, "Ever since their twins they haven't gone out…so I decided _we'd_ take 'em."

I cocked an eyebrow, "I would love to see them, but why not tell me I had to spend my money Sunday night? What if I had something planned?"

"Sweet, you _know_ me," he said, "I wouldn't ever tell ya about somethin' like this. Maybe if I got drunk I'd think on my feet better."

"I didn't stop you from drinkin' Two-Bit," I put the jellybeans back in my pocket, "It was all you."

"I'm just sayin'."

I must've looked pretty pissed, 'cause he smirked, "Do you want me to beg?"

I shook my head, "No, Two-Bit. Not t-"

"I'm sorry, Sweet," he took off his shoes, "I'm really, _really_ sorry…"

Rolling my eyes with knowledge of what he was doing I got ready.

He placed his feet on my lap and held the timer, "How long?"

I removed his socks, "Make it five."

He looked shocked and set it anyway, me tickling him mercilessly. Getting into it I got atop him, holding his arms down as I blew onto his belly, his laughter and his begging for mercy louder and louder.

Finally, the timer rang and I crawled up to his lips, kissing him as we calmed down.

The kiss separated and I smiled, "You are forgiven."

He rubbed his belly, "I'm glad."

He began kissing my neck and I sniggered. He always knew how to make me feel better.

After a while I looked at him, "You hungry?"

He shrugged, "Why can't I just eat you?"

"I'm too sweet." I said somewhat flirtatiously.

He raised his eyebrows, "Ain't nothing I can't handle!"

He flipped me underneath him and began to blow on my belly, my hand pounding on his back as I laughed.

This is my relationship with Two-Bit Mathews.

I love it.


	4. Dinner with the Curtis'

It was always a joy to see the Curtis'. Even though Two-Bit and Iris had planned that we'd all go out the babysitter called it quits earlier that evening and before we could protest Iris had made dinner.

"Sweet!" Coca walked with his fast legs in my direction.

I picked him up, "Hey, Coca! How you doin'?"

"He hasn't stopped talking about you since he could speak." Iris smiled at me.

"So, I'm just chopped liver, huh?" Two-Bit joked.

Darry gave him a hug, "Never, man. Oh, I've missed the two of you!"

Two-Bit hugged back, "I think I've missed you too."

A cry came from a near by room, Iris standing, "I have to check on Cola. Dinner will be ready in a bit."

She leaves the room, Two-Bit getting comfortable on the couch next to me, Darry sitting in the big chair across.

"Man," Two-Bit chuckles, "two kids in four years? You a busy fool."

He smiled, "Two-Bit it's called twins. And besides, I love her."

"And that's all that matters," I added, "Ain't it?"

"Yea," he leaned back in his chair, "it is."

Two-Bit whipped out his switch, "How's Pony doin', man?"

"We haven't spoken since Monday," Darry replied, "I don't know. He just seems edgy. I've considered going over there, but I know he likes his privacy. 'Sides, I got two boys to tend to."

" 'Edgy'?" I cocked an eyebrow, "What you mean?"

He took a minute, "I don't know. Startled in a sense. Shock. Like he was unsettled…" he sat up, "but he's an adult now, and I can't do anything about it really."

"Is it weird," Two-Bit picked his nails with the blade, "not seeing him every day?"

Darry smiled, "Was at first, but then I got used to it. Sure, we'd call each day, but recently he seems to want some distance. I respect that, I'm just a tad worried, is all."

With no indication that he had wanted to change the subject he did, smiling at me, "Sweet, your cupcakes are amazing."

"Thanks a million, Darry," I was flattered, "Business is booming these days."

"Don't blame 'em," he grinned, "Iris can't spend one day without talking about going to the bakery, but until Coca and Cola grow up or until we both get some sleep it's a no go."

"Someone talking about me?" Iris came in putting her hand on Darry's shoulder, "All good things I would hope."

"What ain't good about you?" Darry looked up at her. She ruffled his hair and kissed his head.

"Dinner's done, Cola is asleep," she clapped her hands together, "thus, let's eat!"

We all stood, obviously Two-Bit making it to the table first, and Coca getting the high chair.

Iris quickly said her silent prayer, Darry feeding his son with a spoon.

Two-Bit poured him some noodles, soon reaching over me for the sauce.

"Everything looks amazing, Iris," I smiled, "Absolutely delicious."

"Darry did the casserole," she chirped, getting her plate some of it, "I guess all those years of cooking for his brothers really paid off."

"I agree," Darry began eating his pasta, "All those years definitely did pay off. And thus, Iris doesn't always have to worry about dinner, and I don't always have to worry about the kids and when I'm being fed. It's great."

She smiled at him, the casserole melting in my own mouth.

"Same thing with me and Sweet," Two-Bit sipped his water, "Even though I don't know nothin' 'bout cooking, he has a cookbook, and usually one of us starts dinner and the other finishes once we arrive from work."

"He just likes the desserts." I smiled, Andy playing with his apricots.

"That too." Two-Bit said with a mouthful of spaghetti.

Iris grinned, "I pass by your bakery on my stroll with Coca and Cola everyday, but I never get the chance to go in. I hear it's to die for!"

I blush- I can't help it, "Thank you, Iris. Baking is a passion of mine, and I pursue it with a surprisingly high demand. I didn't expect to get a job my first week in Maryland, nor see the business up in less than a month."

"And I didn't expect to meet and marry the most beautiful woman in the world," Darry beamed at Iris, "and have two gorgeous sons."

Iris rose her glass, "And I didn't expect to run into the most handsome, kind man I've ever known at the supermarket that Tuesday morning, soon to be married to him with the start of a marvelous family and miraculous new friends."

"To the unexpected!" Two-Bit rose his glass.

We all toasted, "To the unexpected."

If it was just the boys- and we were in Tulsa- we would've splashed the water on one another.

There are aspects of being with all the guys that I miss, but I wouldn't give up my present life for the world.

Not a chance.


	5. Touchy Subject

"Order up!"

I wrapped up the dozen pies and handed them to the couple in front of us.

"Have a lovely day." I smiled.

"With these pies," the man said, "how could we not?"

Trying not to blush I waved to them, Myrna holding the door open.

"We need more people here, Sweet." She said, coming back to the stove as another customer walked in.

"Agreed." Trevor licked his chocolate fingers.

Myrna smacked his hand away from his mouth as a familiar voice said hello to me.

"Hey, Trudy," I called, "What you doing here on a Wednesday?"

"Can't resist 'em, Sweet," she smiled, "It's no trouble, is it?"

I shook my head and proceeded to made her order, "No trouble at all. How you doing?"

I heard her place her purse on the table, "Won't complain. You?"

"Same," I put the muffins in the oven, "Any news on the farmer's market?"

"Coming to town Friday, actually," she pulled $9.00 out her purse, "and I am definitely not missing it this time."

"I need more blueberries for the shop," I gave her thirty cents, "For some reason they're in such high demand this week."

"I ain't going!" Trevor called from the backroom, "I got better stuff to do than sniff tomatoes and squeeze melons…actually it's just that if you catch my drift."

"Trevor!" Myrna yelled, making me snicker and Trudy chuckle.

"So, what you doing this week? You have a life outside of this bakery, right?" She put her purse over her shoulder.

I smile, "Yes, I do. This week all I'm doing is working here, making more stuff with blueberries, and spending time with my…"

Could I tell Trudy about Two-Bit? Would she be like Ms. Mathews said?

After a moment's hesitation, and by the ring of the bell, I caught myself, "A few friends and me are hanging out."

She raised her eyebrows, "Sounds like fun. Hope you enjoy yourself."

"Hope you do too." I pulled the muffins out and put them in their container.

She picked up the small container, "See you tomorrow, Sweet. You too, Myrna, Trevor."

"See you, Trudy!" Myrna beat four eggs.

Trevor came up behind me the second the door closed, "She likes you, Sweet."

"Trevor," this was getting annoying, "I already told you-"

"And I ain't taking her!" he yell-whispered, "I know this person is special, and thus I think you should let Trudy down gently. I think you're accidently leading her on."

I turned to him, "What gives you that impression?"

"The simple fact that every time I see you guys she's asking more and more personal questions," he explained, "and you give more and more detailed answers. You didn't even disclose the fact that you have someone already!"

Turning back to the oven I didn't want to believe him. I mean the idea of me leading Trudy on was ridiculous. We were just friends/friendly acquaintances. As far as I could tell there was nothing.

Then again, I've never been with a girl…

Considering what I've said throughout the time I've known her, my thoughts were interrupted by the ding of a bell, me tending to the customer.

The day ended sooner than I expected it to, me relieved to remove my hairnet and shaking my blonde hair around.

Myrna called her date, Trevor childishly muttering to me about it.

She hung up the phone, me nudging her elbow, "Is this your fourth date, Myrna?"

"Fifth," she blushed, "I think I really like him."

I smiled, "I'm so happy that you found someone. It's wonderful!"

She sort of squealed, Trevor running to us, seemingly worried, "Who let the pigs in?"

She smacked his shoulder, him laughing too much to care.

"Shut it, Trevor." She opened the register the stove, me putting the pastries in their rightful place.

"You know, you aren't the only person with someone special!" Trevor called to Myrna.

I scoffed, "And who's yours? Your blow-up woman?"

"Actually, I was referring to you." Trevor wiped his hands, Myrna gasping.

"Sweet, you never told me you had someone!" Myrna had the widest smile on her face, "Who's the lucky lass, huh?"

I didn't want to answer, but I got lucky since Trevor kind of answered for me, "He won't tell me their name, but all he cares to disclose is that they're real special."

Myrna nodded in approval, me wanting to hide.

Turning back to what I was doing I didn't want to have to continue lying to these people, but Myrna gave me no choice as she smacked my shoulder, "Can't believe you didn't tell me!"

I continued to scrub the stove, "I didn't think it mattered-"

"Of course it matters to us, Sweet!" she exclaimed, "We both love to hear about your life. You hear so much about ours…"

She took a second, "Then again…you know a lot more about ours than we know about yours-"

"Okay, Myrna!" I turned. I actually had no idea where she was going, but all I knew was that I wanted to stop it, "Please don't think any of that!"

Wanting to act as if nothing ever happened I called that I was doing the stove, Trevor saying that if he could he's kiss me.

I heard Myrna's lack of movement behind me, but soon she sighed, saying, "I will respect your privacy, Sweet. I'm sorry I intruded."

I wanted to say something, like an apology, but once I turned she was out the door for her date, me once again left with Trevor.

The evening had already gotten slightly tense with Myrna and me, and I just wanted to get the heck out of there.

But of course, Trevor has to speak, "She's just suspicious, man. Don't worry about 'er."

Slamming the oven door shut after cleaning the gook out I stood, exhaling angrily, "Thanks, Trevor."

_Chill out_ I told myself. _Why is this making me so mad?_

He finished mopping and went on this whole thing about how ever since he's met her she's always been budding into knowing more about him, knowing more about his life, and at first he thought she was hitting on him. I stopped listening around then, trying to figure out what was driving me so angry.

The second everything was cleaned I turned off the lights, heading out the door and waving goodbye to Trevor, whom grabbed my hand in midair unexpectedly.

He took a minute, "Sorry if I told her something ya wanted to keep secret, Sweet."

I sighed. I wanted a reason to why it bothered me so much, but could never find one. Instead, I smiled at Trevor, forgave him, and he gave me a ride home.

_Myrna didn't do anything wrong, Sweet. It wasn't her fault. All you have to do is figure out what got you so cross. That's it._

_Goddamn it, what the hell's going on with you?_


	6. What He Wants

Two-Bit had already started dinner and I was in no mood to help him.

We ate fast, him talking about how he's got pasta down to a science, me obviously smiling and chuckling at his analysis.

He headed off to bed so he could get an early start in the morning, me staying up to try and figure out what set me off.

_Was it the fact that I'm gay? Was it that I didn't want people knowing about me and Two-Bit? Was it just about privacy? Should I have snapped at Myrna? Is it the fact that I don't want them to know? That's a possibility._

All thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door.

I looked at the clock. _Twelve Thirty-Three?_

This better be good.

Standing I walked over to the door, flying it open faster than I meant.

"Pony?" I was surprised. _What?_

"I'm sorry, Sweet," he sighed, "Can I come in?"

Pony had gone to the college, yes, but this was only his second year. Darry had been paying for him to go, but after the twins were born all the money went into diapers, and thus Pony would have to work it off.

He doesn't seem to mind it, but what did bother me was what Darry had said:

_"We haven't spoken since Monday…I don't know. He just seems edgy…"_

And yes, he did act edgy.

"I didn't know whom else to tell," he came inside the house, "or who else to go to."

"It's okay, Pony," I gestured for him to sit on the couch, which he did, "but why are you here?"

He pulled a folded piece of paper out of his back pocket and handed it to me, me reading it silently to myself.

I couldn't believe it.

I looked up from the letter, "Cherry sent this?"

"She wants to see me, Sweet," he sort of lit up, "She misses me."

Cherry had kept a secret from Ponyboy, and she definitely knew about it.

Marcia had told Two-Bit from panic, and I had to beg her to tell me the truth;

Cherry was HIV positive.

She knew she could've killed him if they were in a romantic relationship, but she didn't tell him. The only way he found out was from Darry.

But people in love do crazy things.

"She wants me, Sweet," he perked, "I couldn't tell Darry 'cause he'd have a heart attack, or just tell me it's a bad idea, but she wants to see me and I believe I should go. What do you think?"

In all truth I just wanted Pony to be happy and healthy. He and Darry deserved it more than anyone else I knew.

However, I had to act upon the sane choice, "Pony, she has a disease that she didn't tell you about, and now that you two are of age sex would be in your agenda of things to do.

"Pony, she lied to you," I stated, him rolling his eyes and slouching in the couch, "I know this ain't easy, but it's the truth. She lied."

He didn't want to hear that nor believe it, but someone had to come clean with him.

Standing he began to walk to the door, "I love her, Sweet. Why can't you just be okay with that?"

"I am okay with it," I stood, "What I'm not okay with is the woman who claims she loves you lying about havin' a disease which could harm you severely."

"She was scared, okay?" he became stern and turned to me, "She was scared and didn't know how to tell me. What, it's okay for you to date a man but not for me to date a woman I love?"

There was a tense pause.

I wanted to argue. I wanted to prove to him that he was wrong…

But how would I do that?

Pony's not a kid anymore. He's an adult and I can't tell him what to do.

He left, me just hoping everything for the best.

No longer wishing to think I removed my shirt and got in bed, Two-Bit purring in his sleep.

Kissing his cheek I brought him into my arms, getting as comfortable as I could with his warm body.

I began to recall the night he left me arms and I didn't know where he was. I didn't know where he left to or what happened to him, and even when he came back I wasn't too sure.

I made a vow to always know where he was, but not in an obsessive sense. Just to make sure he's okay and safe. Just to know I could protect him.

And unlike Cherry I would never lie to him.


	7. All the Way from Alabama

I didn't expect to get the call.

"What?" I gasped, Trevor dropping his empty tray after being startled.

"Jesus, Sweet!" He cried, the nun in the bakery looking at him disappointed.

Myrna came over, "You okay, Sweet?"

I nodded excitedly, putting the phone down, "A friend of mine I haven't seen in forever is in town!"

She cheered, Trevor dropping the tray once again.

"What the fuck is wrong with you guys?" He cussed, the nun making the same face.

"He brought his wife and daughter and they're stopping by!" I couldn't believe it. I was so happy, "I'm gonna make my cake for them!"

"Are we allowed to meet them?" Myrna asked, pulling out the flour.

"Yes, Myrna," I smiled, "I want you to."

"I call the register!" Trevor yelled, "I meet and judge them first!"

I took my time with the cake as usual, licking the frosting off my fingers once the cake was in the oven.

"It'll be done in ten," I said, "Hope they come soon."

"I've served five people and three nuns that gave me weird looks, Sweet," Trevor leaned against the counter, "I can only hope they show."

Myrna gave one of the customers their order, her attention on Trevor, "In due time, Your Majesty. In due time."

Trevor stuck his tongue out at her and headed to the back, the door's bell ringing as someone entered.

"Oh god…" I muttered, smiling as I saw who stepped in.

She was in the cutest stroller, a bow in her hair and a toy car in her hand.

That was definitely Steve's baby.

I came out from behind the counter and walked toward Evie, her mouth dropping open with a smile.

"SweetTooth Collins," she opened her arms, "You stayed sweet."

I brought her into a hug, picking her off the ground in excitement. I hadn't seen her in years.

She was still petit, but it was obvious to tell that she'd been working out.

Putting her back on the ground I noticed Myrna behind me, looking down at the baby.

"I presume you two know each other?" Myrna grinned, extending a hand to Evie, "I'm Myrna Grant."

Evie shook, "Evie Randle. And the little one's Kim."

Myrna proceeded to talk to the baby, but not the way most people do; it was like a one-way conversation.

"Where's Steve?" I asked. She said it would be all of them.

"Fixing up the car," she answered, "We blew a flat and we happened to be closest to here. I remembered you mentioning it when we last spoke."

I nodded, "May I go see him?"

"Well, he's not wearing his make-up," she joked, "but I think he's presentable."

I smiled. Evie was so adorable.

I respectfully kissed her cheek and began to head out; Evie telling me it was to the left.

I couldn't wait to see him. Four and a half years since I had seen Steve Randle, four and a half years too many.

Removing my hairnet I started to run in desperation to see where he was. I was so giddy, like a schoolgirl going on her first date.

Finally, I saw a man in an undershirt repairing a tire, his black hair greased, which I haven't seen on anyone other than Two-Bit and Darry.

That was Steve.

I came up behind him and put my mouth next to his ear, saying in a raspy voice, "Your wife's hot, Mr. Randle."

He spun around, holding a tool up as a threat the same way he did when we first met.

He seemed to do a double take, also like the first time we met, and then dropped the tool, picking me up and spinning me in the air.

"Sweet!" he yelled, me laughing and hugging him back, "Goddamn it, man!"

He placed me atop the car hood, both of us laughing.

He punched my shoulder, "Ya had me scared to death, man."

"Well, she is," I told him. He chuckled, slicking back his hair. I pulled his jaw down so his mouth would open, "It's still tuff."

He chuckled, "Yea. I ain't gettin' this baby fixed even if it kills me." It felt good to hear another southern voice, especially his since it was so distinct.

He clapped his hands together, "So, I heard Imma gettin' some'in' sweet today."

I smiled, "Well, here I am."

He cackled. It was so familiar in its vast sound.

"I don' wanna eat ya," he pushed me off the car hood and put on his jacket, "Now, direct me to my woman."

Smiling I was glad to. I couldn't believe whom I was seeing! The Randles had their wedding, they had a daughter, and then they lived in Alabama.

I introduced Steve to Myrna, whom seemed taken aback for a minute from his greased hair and bummed tooth.

Conversation commenced, thank god there weren't any other customers, and Trevor came running out the back, panting once he came up to Myrna.

"_I_ was supposed to meet them first!" He shot at her, somewhat in a yell-whisper.

"Well, I don't even want to know what you were _doing_ back there," Myrna said, Trevor's eyes widening and eyebrows narrowing, "but these are Sweet's friends."

I gestured to Steve, "This is my longtime buddy, Steve Randle," they shook hands, "and this is the marvelous Evie Randle," Trevor shook her hand, "and their daughter, Kim."

He looked down at the baby and smiled, soon bending down to talk to her.

The timer on the stove dinged and I got Goosebumps. Not even Darry or Iris had had my cake before, but Steve and Evie were here from Alabama and it would be a while before they came back.

As more customers walked in I gestured for the Randles to take a seat, which they did at a table by a window, and I went back to my cake, pulling out the glorious creation and preparing to frost it.

"How long you work here, Sweet?" Steve stuck a pick in his mouth.

"'Bout four years." I told him.

"And we'd be out of business without him!" Trevor proceeded to jump in, seeming to be pissed that he wasn't sitting with them.

I patted his back as Myrna talked to Evie, "Why don't you go over there, Trev? I'll hold down the fort h-"

"Oh no!" he said, "You go over there and hang with your buddies. _Myrna_ and I"- Myrna turned-"Will hold down the fort for ya."

Myrna pursed her lips for a minute, but then smiled, exchanged numbers with Evie, Myrna smacking Trevor upside his head once she made it behind the counter.

"Who else knows you're in town?" I sat down across from Evie, whom was by the window, and Steve sitting with Kim.

"No one at the moment other than you," Evie said, "but we wanna see the rest, including the twins."

Steve picked up Kim into his arms, "When she told me we were stoppin' for somethin' sweet I thought she meant grab n' go. Little did I know it meant we seein' a sweet tooth."

Smiling I looked back at the cake, "Well, you ain't gonna be disappointed. I'll be right back…"

I stood; ready to give them my prized piece of art. "If it were a Picasso chocolate would rule the world" as Two-Bit put it.

But basically, this is my prize; my jewel; my pride. I have put my sweat and blood into this recipe based off some notes my mother put in her cookbook and slight experimentation, and I would finally be sharing it with a group of people I loved.

Arriving back Steve saw the cake and placed Kim immediately back in the stroller, stuffing his napkin out his the top of his shirt, "Damn, Sweet!"

"You make this?" Evie cocks an eyebrow and grows a smile.

I nod, "Does it really matter to you?"

She picks up her fork and looks delighted at the piece I cut her, Steve seemingly pissed at the size he got.

"You want more, Steve?" I questioned.

"Naw. Just gimme the whole cake and we'll call it even." He took his fork and dug into it.

Evie moaned in pleasure after a moment of nothing but forks clinking, stuffing even more into her mouth.

"Sweet!" she said with a mouthful, "This is…amazing!"

"It melts in your mouth…" Steve leaned his head back with a piece of cake on his tongue, opening his mouth to signify it melting.

"Glad you like it," I smiled. I figured I'd have some myself, "Myrna, Trev, you guys want any?"

Trevor made it over first, Myrna tending to the last customer and putting up the closed sign.

We all ate and talked. Myrna wanted to know more about Evie, Trevor more about Steve, me just happy to see everything going so well.

Steve snuck Kim some frosting, cake dribbling it all over her gums and her adorable blue shirt. I couldn't help but smile.

Steve Randle as a father was something I could never have imagined. Darry was easy, and I could even see Soda, but never Steve, nor Dally. Those two I left alone. However, Steve seemed to love it and I believe that if Sodapop Curtis were alive today he would be one of the best dads to ever live.

Never knowing my father I had to simply observe. Of course it's something I've always considered, fatherhood, but being with Two-Bit I don't know if there's any chance of it ever taking action.

The last piece of cake was consumed, and fought over by Steve and Trevor until Evie snatched it, but it was definitely gone, Steve licking the plate.

"Sweet, that was amazing…" Evie patted her belly in satisfaction.

"I second that!" Steve finished licking the plate, tossing it back on the table.

"Always keeping it good." Myrna patted my back.

Trevor simply nodded at me with a smile, his mouth full of milk.

I smiled, picking up the plates, "Thanks, guys. I love makin' it."

Myrna gestured for me to stop but I insisted. I don't know what it is but for as long as I can remember I have always loved doing the dishes and putting them away.

I heard Steve clap his hands together, "Well, hate to cut this short but we got other people to see."

"Are Ponyboy and Darry at their places?" Evie checked on Kim.

"Naw, but Two-Bit's off of work," I replied, "He'll be delighted."

" 'Ponyboy', 'Two-Bit'?" Myrna seemed baffled.

"Don't judge, Myrna," Trevor said, "C'mon! This dude's name is SweetTooth, for Christ's sake!"

I chuckled. Two-Bit and SweetTooth were just nicknames, but I wasn't in the mood to get into it.

Steve gave Trevor a good handshake, Trevor seeming to want to follow Steve wherever he went. Myrna and Evie said their goodbyes, made plans, and Myrna kissed the baby goodbye, and then told me to go with the Randles.

"Really?" I seemed surprised.

"Well, I already put up the closed sign," she shrugged, "but I owe you one."

I gave her a hug and Trevor pulled me into a 'bro-hug', only so he could ask me whom the fuck names their kid Ponyboy.

Telling the two goodbye I headed out the door with Steve, Evie pushing the stroller and me asking him about Alabama.

"It's great, man," he opened the car door for Evie, "Ms. Mathews wasn't kiddin'. It's just great."

"Steve has a steady job," Evie added from inside the car, "and he made this car."

"I ain't surprised." I said. The car was gorgeous.

"Yea," Steve strapped Kim in her car seat, "That's really the only reason she keeps me around. To make cars and kill bugs."

She made a smug grin and Steve hopped in the front seat, kissing her delicately before he started the car.

"How long you in town for?" I considered pulling out some M & Ms, but the fact that we had just eaten two pounds of cake ruined it for me.

"We're having trouble with our house," Evie responded as Steve began to drive, "and we need to stay somewhere while it's being solved, thus we decided to come where the majority of our friends were."

"The house down the block from your street is where we'll be staying." Steve made a U-turn.

I couldn't get over how happy I was.

As expected Darry and Iris were thrilled to see them, Ponyboy and Two-Bit making their way over as well.

We had dinner at their house, Coca sleeping and Cola and Kim getting along just fine.

This was one of the few places where I could put my arm around Two-Bit's shoulders or he could put his hand on my leg. We didn't flaunt our relationship, it just it felt real nice to have friends that accepted something like this.

"Real good to see you, Steve," Darry said, "Can't believe you're a dad."

"And I can't believe how good a dad he's even become!" Evie chuckled, Steve flirtatiously tickling her.

I smiled, Pony plopping down next to Darry, "When's your anniversary anyways?"

"You better remember this, Steve," Iris warned, "We women hate when our partners forget the anniversary."

Steve laughed, "Don't worry about it. Our anniversary is December 3rd, and it'll be coming up on four years this year."

"When's Kim's birthday?" I asked.

There was a pause before Evie said, "December 10th. She'll be four this year."

There was an awkward silence, which made me regret even asking. Biting my bottom lip I looked down at my shoes…

Two-Bit broke the silence, "How you guys like Sweet's cake? Wasn't it horrible?" I smacked his shoulder.

"It was incredible!" Evie exclaimed, "Fabulous!"

"Scrumptious," Steve seemed to lick his lips in remembrance, "No wonder you're dating him, Two-Bit."

Two-Bit kissed my cheek and I blushed, "It's also 'cause I'm blonde."

"How'd ya guess?" he made a shocked face, "Then again, it could be because of that one time you dressed up as a woman."

Steve burst out into laughter, practically falling onto the floor. I did too. That was a great day, it was. I will never forget his face when he found it was I underneath those sunglasses, and Darry's expression when he awkwardly walked in on the scene.

Darry chuckled, Iris completely confused, but Evie tittered as well. I guess Steve couldn't keep his trap shut and told her.

After things calmed Two-Bit ruffled my hair, me mainly thinking about the day Soda laid out the plan:

_"All right, Sweet, you'll be the girl."_

_"No shit."_

_Steve cackled, "I can't wait for this…"_

It was a wonderful morning more than anything else. The rest of the day involved gunshots, cigarettes, blood and tears, but no one would suspect such from a morning as good as that.

And from an evening as good as this, though, I would've never suspected a tomorrow like tomorrow turned out.


	8. Not Gonna Hurt

The next morning Two-Bit kissed me goodbye, Steve and Evie still in town

The day at work involved lots of questions about Steve, and who Ponyboy and Two-Bit were.

"We ever gonna meet these people?" Trevor asked as he wiped down the stove, gritting his teeth at the grime.

"Possibly, one day, maybe." I responded, a smug look on my face.

The day ended, Steve inviting me over to his place. I headed over immediately. I didn't want to see them for only one day and then not again for another four and a half years.

I knocked and Steve answered, a smile on his face, "Hey, Sweet."

I smiled, "Can I come in?"

He nodded, "Of course."

I walked in, the house beautiful, gorgeous, in fact. It wasn't too big, but it was perfect for its size.

"What's up, man?" I asked, my hands in my pockets.

He gestured at the couch, "Have a seat."

I started thinking about the last time it was just he and I alone on the couch. The time he tried to kiss me…

_No, don't think about that, Sweet_ I told myself. _This couldn't be about that again…_

We both sat on the couch, Steve saying after a pause or two, "You remember how we moved the wedding up to December, right?"

_How could I forget it?_ "Yes."

"And Kim was born December Tenth, a week later," he prolonged, "which you found out yesterday."

_I am not going through another test again. I am not going to help him question his love for Evie nor Soda._

I put my hand up, "Steve, stop-"

"I got her pregnant because I wanted to prove somethin'," he seemed so glad to get this off his chest, "I got her pregnant because I wanted to show her I wasn't attracted to men; that she was the love for me…Then again, I never got that kiss I asked ya for."

I put my hand down, "No, Steve. You-"

"I'm not too sure of why I proposed to her anymore," he looked so regretful, "whether it was for love or proof…

"Sweet, a kiss can change a lot," he continued, and I remembered the first time he said that, "and it's all I need…"

I didn't know what to say. I knew he needed to know for Evie's sake and for his own. He needed this, just like he needed this before…

_But, what would've happened if I kissed him before? What would've happened if I gave in? W-_

My thoughts were interrupted.

Before I could do anything his lips were on mine, kissing me.

Steve Randle was kissing me.

And before I knew it he was off, looking down at the floor.

He was obviously embarrassed; ashamed, and completely regretful, but it felt nice; I had never been with a man other than Two-Bit…

This was my chance.

I couldn't help myself.

I caught his lips with my own, him never fighting back. I placed my hand on his cheek and he pulled me closer by my shirt.

I knew it was wrong, but I really wanted him. I just wanted to be able to be with someone else, no matter how much I loved Two-Bit.

His tongue made it into my mouth, pulling me closer and closer by the shirt, me just wanting to remove it.

I wanted to sit on his lap. I wanted to be with another man. I didn't want the same sexual partner forever. _I can be with Two-Bit and still have a relationship with someone else, right? I know most say it's wrong, but some people must do it. Some people must be even married and be okay with this._

Steve may have been straight and married, but he didn't fight, and nor did I.

No longer resisting the urge I got on his lap, removing his shirt and continuing to kiss him. He kissed me down my neck, me moaning as his hand began to caress me above my waist, inching up my shirt.

I moved my hand to his bare chest, feeling his muscles underneath my fingers as they crept lower and lower on his body, above his waist, his hips, in his pants…

He removed my shirt and kissed me harsh, his hands rubbing my rear. I kissed his neck and got farther down on his chest, soon unzipping his pants.

After kissing him one last time I went down on my knees, off the couch, and began to remove his pants. Just as I saw his briefs he grabbed my hair and made me look up at him. I expected a kiss, or even him to thrust his penis into my mouth, but instead he just stared at me, as if not believing whom was in front of him.

Letting go of my hair I knew not to continue, him looking away, his hand over his mouth.

I took a moment before I sat next to him, watching him choke back tears of embarrassment. I didn't blame him. It was my fault.

_I led him on…Sweet, how could you be so stupid? You knew it wouldn't end well._

A tear or two came down his face as he sat there, staring at the floor. I didn't know what to do. _Should I leave? Should I say something?_

I did neither; I just sat there.

After a few minutes he sat up, wiping his tears away and pulling up his pants.

"I gotta get Evie and Kim," he pulled on his shirt, "from Myrna's house."

"Steve…" I wanted to grab his arm.

"Tonight Darry's comin' over," he stood and grabbed his keys, "and it'd be nice if you were gone by then."

"Steve." I began to tear up.

"I'll see you later," he headed to the door, "Tell Two-Bit I said 'hi'."

I stood, "Steve!"

He left.

_What did I do?_

_Why did I do it?_

I slouched down on the couch and began to sob. _I'm sorry Steve. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry Two-Bit and Evie. I didn't want to hurt anybody. I just wanted to have some fun. I just wanted to experience someone else._

_Goddamn it, I'm sorry._

_Please forgive me…_

After what seemed to be hours I pulled on my shirt, fixed up the pillows on the couch, and left the house, remembering I still had to cook dinner.

Arriving at home it was dark outside. I took as long as I could to get into the house. Unlocking the door I smelled beef and beer.

"Dinner'll be ready soon, Sweet!" he whistled, "Just sit back and relax."

Walking to the bedroom I grabbed the nearest pillow and muffled my sobs into it. I didn't want anyone to have to tell Two-Bit what happened or that I even considered being with another man, especially a man we knew; especially a man with a family; especially a straight man.

I dug my face deeper and deeper into the pillow, wanting to scream as loud as I could. I may as well have, 'cause before I knew it Two-Bit was holding me, comforting me as I cried. I slammed my fists onto his chest, my tears soaking his shirt.

"Oh, Sweet," he sympathized, taking my hands and placing them down, "Just tell me what's wrong. It's okay…"

Fearing he'd known about me and Steve I kissed him, my hand rubbing against his chest.

"I love you," I panted between kisses, "Two-Bit Mathews, I love you."

He placed his hands on my shoulders, gently pushing me back after I desperately kissed him.

We looked at one another, my eyes still watery and him smiling at me.

"Sweet," he said after a moment, "what's wrong?"

_I shouldn't tell you. I can't tell you. Will you be as understanding as I want? Will you be mad at Steve and blame it all on him? Or would you call me unfaithful and make me move out? Will you break up with me?_

I shook my head, "Nothing, I…" I swallowed nervously, "I just had a small fight with a customer today, that's all."

He cocked an eyebrow, "That's all?"

I hated lying to him. I loved him with every inch of my body and it killed me to lie to his face, but I had no choice.

It was like what happened with Steve and me the first time:

_I shook my head, "This would kill her, Steve."_

_"Only if it's true!" he told me, "But if I'm making it up…she won't know…"_

What Two-Bit wouldn't know wouldn't hurt, right?

I shrugged, "He called me a name or two and it got to me, but everything's okay. I'm fine."

He smiled, "Well if that's the case…"

He got on the ground onto his knees, me thinking about Steve and what I wanted to do with him…

"Can our master Sweet make us some chocolate cake?" He said in an Igor-like voice.

I couldn't help but smile. The characters he created were always so delightful.

I played along, "All right," I placed my hand under his chin, "but you'll have to get the ingredients. Understood?"

He made a face, but then gave in, "Yes, master."

He stood and began to leave, but then turned and said in a mischievous voice, "We need ze chef if we are to continue with zis task."

Coming closer to me he flipped me over his shoulder, "Run, boss. Run!"

I was too startled to respond as he ran through the house to the kitchen, cheering me up more than I expected him to.

_I love Two-Bit. I really do _I kept telling myself.

_But what he doesn't know won't hurt, and I don't want him to hurt._


	9. Clarification

For the next week or so all I could think about was Steve.

_He might leave any time, Sweet! You have to settle this…_

One evening I was cooking dinner, Two-Bit's key opening the door.

"Hey, Mickey." He said, clanking the keys onto the table.

"Hey, Minnie," I replied, him sitting on the couch, "Why don't you come in here and help me finish dinner."

He didn't get up.

I knew Two-Bit wasn't too crazed about working, but I really didn't want to have to make the entire meal myself.

I set the stove on low and walked over to him, giving him a kiss before sitting down.

"What's wrong?" I leaned against his chest.

He took a minute, and then responded, "I gotta go to New York."

This was surprising, "Why?"

"Boss found out I ain't gone to some 'bartender school'," he opened a beer he had in his jacket, "and I gotta go up as soon as possible-tomorrow morning," he sighed, "I need this job. I ain't never gone to college. I stopped going to school after Johnny died…I gotta go…

"If I get in the school, though," he started, "I'll call you and we'll figure out what's gonna happen, kay?"

I nodded as he took another sip, "You'll be okay here by yourself, won't ya? I can get Darry and Iris to walk you three times a day and Ponyboy can do all the feeding."

I laughed, "Naw, I'll be fine," I patted his leg, "Now help me with dinner," he made a whimpering sound, "No, Two-Bit. I'm the dog, remember?"

"You're a German Shepard," he drank, "but I'm a Beagle."

Smiling I got on all fours and began to growl, him whimpering maniacally, dropping his beer can and jumping off the couch, running on all fours to the kitchen.

The next morning Two-Bit left me a note on the kitchen table including his number, where he's staying-Dally's place-when he'll be back, and where the dog food is.

I smiled at the note and took a moment to sit down.

_I don't have to work today_ I told myself,_ and Steve's home…_

Looking at the clock I decided to wait until noon, just so I wouldn't wake anyone up.

I called Myrna to find out if she had plans with Evie, and it turned out she didn't, but once I called Iris she had plans with Evie and her two kids. I didn't have the gut to call Evie and speak to her myself, especially after what happened.

_Steve'll be by himself for a while…_

Nothing was going to stop me; we needed to get things straight.

I painfully waited for noon. I baked a few cookies, read a good book, had a long talk with Ponyboy over the phone about birth names, and finally my time came.

Heading out the door I went straight to their house, Evie just leaving with Kim outside the house.

"Bye, Sweet," she called, "Have a great day!"

"Bye, Evie." I responded, more distracted than I wish to have been.

Her car pulled away from the driveway and I knocked on the door, Steve answering it seemingly just waking up.

He seemed surprised at first, but exhaled heavily, letting me inside with a hand gesture.

I made my way to the living room, somewhat cautiously, stopping until he came into the room. Once he did he pointed to the couch, me sitting down and him taking the chair next to it.

There was a pause, but I had to say something. I came there to clarify what happened the other day. I came there to reassure his love for Evie. I came there to talk.

I sighed, "Steve, I'm sorry," I didn't know where I was headed, "I'm sorry that I did what I did and I'm sorry that I made the situation even worse. I know you're trying to identify your sexuality and your love for Evie, but I know you love her. I just-"

"Sweet." He said my name softly, but it felt abrupt. It felt sudden to hear him speak.

He looked down at his shoes, "I liked it."

I couldn't believe what I just heard, "What?"

He seemed so ashamed as he looked back up, "I liked the kiss…"

_This isn't happening_ I told myself. _He liked it?_

My chance was getting clearer and clearer. Two-Bit was out of town, Evie was out, but most importantly Steve _liked_ it.

I know my mentality shouldn't have been like that, but it was all I could think about. All I could focus on was the fact that the opportunity to "be" with another man was getting closer and closer for me to grasp.

I wet my lips, "You liked it?"

He sighed, "Yeah."

I needed it to be wise, "How long's Evie gone?"

He looked down at his shoes, "Few hours…"

I wanted him to look at me, "You want more of it?"

He seemed so embarrassed, but he swallowed, looking up and saying, "I liked it…"

He was so confused, but this was my opportunity to be with someone else. He's willing, he's alone, he's confused…

I didn't care if I was using him.

I wanted him.

He gave me all the signs.

I stood, slowly and cautiously, as if approaching a frightened cat. I made it to him, my arms caressing his shoulder. He shuttered for a moment, and then my lips caught his, grabbing him and pulling him closer to me. He enclosed his arms around me and pulled off my shirt, me doing the same for him.

As we kissed he got off the chair and lay on top of me, kissing me down my neck as I wrapped my legs around his body.

For a minute I wanted to forget all about Two-Bit. I wanted to forget all about Cherry and Pony. I wanted to forget about wrong and right.

I just wanted this.

And I finally had it.

He kissed me down my chest, my clever fingers undoing his belt.

He came back up to my lips and I kissed him, my hand now unzipping his zipper.

_It's not wrong, Sweet._ I told myself. _Evie and Two-Bit won't know anything. No one will ever know anything._

_It's okay._

_Just do it._

I sat him back onto the chair and slipped my tongue in his mouth, my hand in his boxer shorts. He moaned, me taking that as a queue to proceed where I left off.

Getting onto my knees he lifted my gaze up to his eyes again by my hair.

_Oh no._

He took a minute.

_Please don't think too far into this, Steve. Please just let this happen…_

He kissed me, the second we separated my hands removing his pants.

And as we proceeded, I fulfilled forgetting everything.


	10. Relief

I awoke the next morning rather dazed. Everything that happened the night before was no dream. I had sex with Steve. I had sex with Steve on his couch.

I felt so dirty…and yet so good.

Stretching I realized I was still at Steve's, but Steve wasn't on the couch with me.

I looked on the floor beneath me and he wasn't anywhere. _Did Evie catch us? Did she see Steve and me together on the couch?_

Before I got an answer Evie came into the room, holding a plate of breakfast.

"Good morning, Sweet," she placed the food in front of me, "How'd you sleep?"

_If she knows she's taking it awful well_ I thought to myself.

I sat up, "I'm fine. You?"

"Busy," she said, "but I have to fix the car so we can actually drive it. It broke down while I was out, you know."

_You are so lucky it did_.

I smiled nervously, soon noticing that I had clothes on.

_Steve's good at cleaning up_.

I didn't believe that she was okay, but she really was. She was perfectly content and she didn't catch us. Steve had gone to work and did a really great job of making up some story about how I came over to play some cards and fell asleep after playing.

Embarrassed, and itching to get out of there, I left the moment after she 'reminded' me of the game of poker and walked into the garage.

I had just had a conversation with the wife of the man I'm sleeping with.

_What's wrong with me?_ I wanted to scream. I wanted to beg her for forgiveness. _But she seemed fine! Steve was right. What she doesn't know won't hurt her. She was fine. She was…fine…_

Arriving home I took a shower. I needed the dirty feeling to go. I only wanted the good feeling: the feeling that this was okay.

Falling down on the couch I had one more day off, and then I definitely had to come back. The best part for me was the fact that work might distract me from Steve and everything that happened…

But how could it?

I had slept with Steve Randle. I slept with a straight man, which has a daughter, and he's a friend of my boyfriend.

Then again, he did say he enjoyed the kiss…

It wasn't like the way me and Two-Bit had first done it; gentle, worried, timid. It was more so him learning how to be with a man, with experience with women, and just jumping into the deep end of the pool.

It felt nice.

Real nice.

And I wanted more.

God_damn_ it, I wanted so much more.

Looking aimlessly at the ceiling I imagined what Two-Bit might say when I told him I was sleeping with his friend. I could imagine him looking down at the ground for a minute, asking which of them I wanted and of course I would respond "you".

But the one thing that I couldn't shake away was the fact that Steve liked the kiss.

_What does that mean? Does that mean he only liked the kiss? He had no intention of sex? No intention of considering himself gay?_

No matter what it was, he seemed to enjoy himself.

I pulled out a Snickers bar from the cabinet, craving something sweet. Ripping the wrapper off I sat back on the couch, putting my legs up on the table in front of me, trying to ignore and possibly forget what happened the night before.

But it was impossible.

_I touched Steve Randle. My mouth was on his body. My fingers caressed his chest. My lips kissed his. My body was inside his…_

And what they don't know won't hurt.

Startling me out of thought the phone rang, me finishing the Snickers and answering it.

"Yello?" I tried to sound chipper.

"It's happened again," Darry sounded hoarse, "Pony's missing."

I sighed, "What?"

"I stopped by the college, I've called him, asked his friends," he began to sound frightened, "Only thing different is that no one's dead and Johnny's not involved."

"I'll be right over." I put the phone down; grabbing one of the cookies I baked the other day, finishing it before I get over there.

Unlike before there weren't chairs or a dozen random greasers. This was different.

There was Iris, Darry, and Steve.

Steve.

Out of nowhere I became extremely angry, and I could tell that he was really tense.

_What's going on?_ I needed some chocolate or something. _Why is he making me so angry? Damn it! Is it because of the sex? That doesn't make sense…_

I sat on one side of the living room and Steve sat on the other.

Darry ruffled his hair, "Okay, guys, thanks for coming."

Steve and I both shrugged. Guess we didn't wanna really talk.

Darry continued, "We stopped by the college and we've been told that Ponyboy left campus. No word, just left."

"He's an adult, he can do that."

There was an awkward silence.

_Who said that?_

_Oh dear god._

_It was me._

Darry cocked an eyebrow, "I know he's an adult, Sweet. But I can still be concerned about where my little brother's gone-"

"Why do you need to know everything?" I couldn't help myself.

_Sweet, stop it! You're angry because of Steve! Don't take this out on Darry and Pony. Stop!_

Darry exhaled, seemingly frustrated, "Because I care about my little brother, Sweet. C'mon, you know I-"

"He ain't your little brother anymore, Darry," I shot, "He's an adult; a grown man, and if he wants to do something you don't approve of, let him."

I had no idea what had come over me.

He stood after a pause, looking down at me, "I don't want another incident like what happened to Soda to happen again, Sweet. I was _with_ Soda and I didn't even have any way of stopping it! You think I wanna be at home worrying and then get a phone call saying my brother's been killed?"

"You may've been there, but you can't control what other people do." I could no longer tell whom I was referring to.

Soda's death was a touchy subject, I knew that, but at the time I just wanted to fight.

Iris broke the tense silence, "We presume he's gone to see Cherry."

I laughed, "So let 'im." _What am I saying?_

"She's HIV positive, Sweet," Darry stated the obvious, "She put his life in danger, s-"

"You can't control him _or_ what happens to him!" I became infuriated, "They are two adults! They can do as they please!"

"As long as I'm around I will have say in this!" he seemed to get pissed too, "I will make sure my family is safe and secure and-"

"You can't unsure anything if you're not there, you fucking idiot!"

I clocked him.

I clocked him hard.

I clocked him so hard that he fell on the couch, his mouth open in shock and blood slipping through the space between his fingers.

The entire room went silent. I could even hear the blood drip onto the table.

With no use of staying I turned and left, slamming the door on my way out.

_You just punched Darrel Patrick Curtis, Sweet._ I smiled. _What the hell has gotten to you? Why are you so angry? _I laughed. _This isn't a moment to enjoy. Pony's missing!_ I had to stop walking I was laughing so hard. _Who are you?_

I was right. I had no right to be laughing or to have punched Darry.

But it felt good.

And now I feel good.

So what's the trouble with that?

The day passed with me mainly flipping through channels and eating cookies, Two-Bit calling to tell me that it may take a while for him to actually get into the school itself. He asked me if I was doing all right, my answer came out rather happily.

"Glad to hear your voice, Sweet," he said, "I love you."

I took a minute. The anger rushed back through me before I could stop it, but I smiled, sighed and said, "I love you too."

Hanging up the phone I needed something to calm me down. Needed something to calm me down.

There was a knock at the door and I went to answer it.

I could only hope it wasn't Pony.

Then again, it was Steve.

He was still tense just as I was still angry, but after standing there awkwardly for a minute I left the door open and walked to the couch, him hesitating to actually walk inside.

Once he did he closed the door and stood in front of it, looking down at his shoes as I simply stared at him.

He finally looked up, but was tenser than ever before, "Pony's still missing... Darry's nose ain't broken after you…" he couldn't seem to believe it, and I smiled a little, "and Evie's at home with Kim…"

I leaned back on the couch. I knew what he wanted, and even though I was angry I felt so smug.

He wanted it.

And I would give it to him.

I grinned, "Evie's with Kim, you say?"

He nodded nervously, his shoulders up to his chin, "Yea," he detached from the door and began to slowly walk to the couch, "Two-Bit?"

I knew what I needed, "New York."

His hand brushed my cheek, me shivering from his cold fingers.

He seemed taken aback at my response, but I grabbed his hand before he could move away.

"I know what you want, Steve," I stood, "and I'm all yours."

He sort of looked right through me for a moment, me fearing he wouldn't take my offer, but he wanted this. He wanted it bad.

He kissed me, my body getting as close to his as possible, my hands going up and down his chest.

His entire body was still tense. _What can I do for you?_

But he did it for himself:

Once we separated the kiss he bit my bottom lip, his shoulders at the least calming down.

There was light blood, but it felt good for me too. He began to lick it off, my fingers digging into his back as I brought him closer to me.

The majority of my anger left the moment they dug into him. It was as if my anger was air, and all of it came rushing right out of me.

He roughly pushed me onto the couch and got atop me, biting my shoulder as my nails impaled his back, me moaning and him groaning.

This was what we needed.

I felt so much calmer and he seemed not as stiff.

We both fought out of some sort of anger/hatred, and this was our fight.

He brought his tongue into my mouth, which I bit, and his nails scratched my back underneath my shirt.

Thus began my affair with Steve Randle.


	11. Who Am I?

My relationship with Steve was simple: Pain brought us pleasure.

I was well aware of how messed up it all was, but I really didn't care. Steve was happy, I was happy, no one was getting hurt- emotionally- and thus nothing was wrong.

I remember promising myself in Tulsa that I wouldn't fight anymore, but this was my fight and I wasn't gonna stop for no one.

Through the time this affair took place I unconsciously found several reasons to get angry so I could take them out on Steve, and he seemed to do the same.

Our conversation before relief would mainly consist of asking where the other spouse was, if any info on Pony was reported, and then we'd proceed in relieving the anger and tension in our bodies.

His jacket covered most of his injuries, but there was one on both of us that became difficult:

One time he got so into it that he began to choke me, and the only way I could get him to stop was by biting his penis. He stopped immediately, me smiling at my opportunity.

I got him on his hands and knees and wrapped my belt around his neck and pulled.

_Jesus Christ. _I remember thinking: _I don't blame him for choking me._

The neck bruises were difficult to explain, but I started wearing turtlenecks. Steve, though, I was clueless to how he took care of it.

All during work I barely spoke to anyone, staying in the back and baking, but if I had to get angry I'd come out and look for a customer; find someone's mother to deal with.

Myrna and Trevor noticed a change in my behavior pretty fast, but after the first two days Trevor gave up, and after four Myrna stopped nagging.

I practically became mean. The majority of my time, though, was spent alone at the house, dying for Steve to be my scratching post and me his.

Every night we could we would find a way to get to each other, whether it was my house or his.

As our relationship continued I'd do all I could with my teeth and nails to make him bleed, either one of us choking the other, and/or kicking and punching.

One time we ended the night with him wrapping me into his arms, me pleasured to be in someone's warm grasp…but the second he realized who he was holding and who was holding me we separated, me grabbing my clothes and leaving as fast as I could.

We weren't one of those Soap couples where "we love each other, but our spouses wouldn't understand". No. We were both in it for the pain.

Well, and confusion, but at the time I wouldn't have admitted it.

I loved it when he'd bite me. I loved it when he choked me, and I liked it even more when he'd throw me against the wall so hard that the wind would blow out of me.

He seemed to like it too.

Everything about my life seemed to have its place. Everything seemed so damn perfect that I was speechless:

No one could get in the way of my happiness.

No one knew, thus no one could get hurt.

Then that day came. That day when I was sitting at home alone, Two-Bit calling to tell me he was coming home.


	12. Coming Home

I was practically speechless.

Hanging up the phone I stared endlessly at the ground, realizing of what I had done.

I was angry. I was so angry that I had started screaming.

_What have you done, Sweet? You've betrayed the man you love. You have to tell him the truth, Sweet. You have to!_

"No!" I screamed at myself, "No!"

Grabbing a pillow and throwing it as hard as I could it shattered the clock on the wall, me simply standing there and looking right through it.

After a while I had misty eyes but refused to cry. I grabbed a broom and cleaned up the mess I had made and took a long shower.

_Tell him, Sweet. Tell him._

Anxiously I waited. I kept glancing at a wristwatch I found in the bathroom, which was a gift from Ms. Mathews.

Two-Bit was to come home to an unfaithful, dirty, bruised boyfriend, and a trusted friend with the same indecencies.

The guilt rammed into me like a bullet, me chucking some chocolate chips into my mouth.

There were too many people I wanted to hide from, and Two-Bit was one of them. I wanted to crawl up into a ball and ignore Steve, Evie, Two-Bit, Darry, and even Iris a little bit.

I had hurt so many…

What was it about my anger? What was it about me and my life that would always get me so damn angry?

I couldn't figure it out.

Before I knew it, though, the phone rang, me afraid to answer it.

Nevertheless, I picked it up, putting it to my ear and took a moment before saying, "Hello?"

"Yo, Sweet!" Dally called.

I was slightly relieved it was he out of everyone, "Dallas."

"Yeah. Hey, listen, Two-Bit and me were gonna stop by the Curtis' so every one of us, other than Pony, could get together. You gonna be there?"

I wanted to say no. In fact, I wanted to scream, "No fucking way, Dallas! Do you have any idea what Darry will do to me if we see each other again? Do you know what I want to do to Steve and what I _have_ done? Do you have any idea how I've hurt Two-Bit and Evie? Do you have any fucking clue?"

But instead I said, "Of course, man. I wouldn't miss it for the world."


	13. What I Can't Fathom

I now had three people it was awkward to be around:

Steve, Darry, and Iris.

He had already arrived at their place by the time made it over. Procrastination will do that to someone.

He had the brightest smile once he spotted me, swiping me off my feet and spinning me around senseless, me laughing from the pure joy of seeing him.

He caught my lips with his and set my feet to the floor, both of us smiling on the other.

Once we separated our noses still touched, me saying quietly, "I've missed you," he smiles, "You miss me?"

He shrugs and makes an "eh" sound. I smack his shoulder and he laughs, pulling me into a hug.

Over his shoulder, though, I see Steve sitting in a chair, smiling at our reunion.

Our eyes make contact and he's still smiling, but we both know what we both feel:

Guilt.

Dirty.

Shameful.

We would never be able to change what we did, but it was true: I love Two-Bit and he loves Evie.

Two-Bit and I disband from the hug and he flings his arm over me and directs me to the couch, Dallas lighting a cigarette, Darry telling him not to, Iris and Evie tending to their kids, and Steve staying in his chair.

"Him comin' with me was supposed to be a surprise," Dally exhaled, "but he couldn't' keep his big mouth shut, now could ya?"

Two-Bit laughed, "I want my SweetTooth to know to expect me."

The phrasing of that sentence made it sound like he knew I had to clean up before he arrived. Nonetheless I smiled.

"Any luck with Ponyboy?" Two-Bit went back to one of the topics at hand.

Darry ruffled his hair, "No word, and no sight."

"You sound pretty calm." Steve jumped in.

Darry shrugged, "I guess it is true. Pony's an adult and I can't control him."

We looked at each other for a moment. I know what I had done was completely one-sided. I knew I wasn't really mad at Darry, but before I began to speak Darry grinned at me, his quiet way of saying, "We're okay."

"How was New York, Two-Bit?" Darry asked, changing the subject.

Two-Bit grinned, "Crowded like Hell. Now I know why I liked Tulsa so much. No one lives in Tulsa."

"You see any sites?" Evie came back in as Steve took over with a crying Kim.

"Green lady in the middle of the ocean looked like she was ready to fall over at any minute," he pulled out a small box, "by the way, hun, I brought this for ya."

I cocked an eyebrow, "A present for me?"

He made a face, "No, it's for that barfly named Douglas and his wife and thirteen kids. He would very much love what I got you."

I smiled. I didn't feel like I deserved a present or anything from Two-Bit anymore.

_Tell him later._ I told myself.

I opened the present.

I pulled it out, "A key?"

Dallas was confused as I was, "Two-Bit, you cheap as hell, man."

Two-Bit simply smiled, took my hand and said, "Follow me."

I stood, the two of us waving to everyone, Steve coming back in the room just in time to see us leave.

What would I say to Two-Bit? How would I let him know what Steve and I had done? How would I explain the bruises?

I had to forget about all of that.

I had a present waiting for me.

We arrived at this truck, which was parked a block away, and once he popped the trunk I could not believe my eyes.

"A…a candy machine?" I gasped out.

He smiled, "Now this key," he took my hand with the key in it, "goes right in there, and when you turn it," he tossed a tootsie roll in the air, "whoop! There's candy in it!"

I wanted to cry. I wanted to blurt out everything I had done with Steve to him right then and there…

But I didn't have the guts.

I pulled him into a hug, but had to separate quickly; me and Two-Bit were 'friends'.

He pulled out his own keys and handed me the tootsie roll, "Now let's go home."

When we got home we installed the candy machine, and then talked about what he did in New York and what I did down here, and as always his stories made me laugh my ass off.

We made Chicken Marsala for dinner, Two-Bit always asking me why it turned brown.

"So, his name's Trevor, huh?" Two-Bit cocked an eyebrow, "He thinks I got a weird name?" he made a 'psh' sound, "Well, Trevor's a funny name too. I bet it was the name of some sorta bean man: 'Trevor's all-you-can-eat beans. These beans really do make ya fart'."

I tittered, "He thinks Ponyboy's a messed up name, too."

"Oh, I don't care about that!" he joked, "It's all about the fact that he doesn't like _my_ name!"

"Two-Bit, your name is Keith." I reminded him, picking up the dishes and walking to the kitchen.

"I bet he don't like the name Keith neither!" He shot playfully, standing and following me into the kitchen.

He propped himself on the counter behind me. I could hear him swinging his legs back and forth, and at one point his playfully kicked my butt, yelling, "honk!" as he did.

As I washed the dishes he proceeded to say, "Ya know, Sweet…I've known your nickname for all these years…but I ain't never known your real name."

I stopped washing dishes. He was right. It had been a long time.

It was hard to remember it, in all honesty. Aunt Fiona forgot my name by the time I was fourteen and since I neglected to actually care about school no teacher called me by name too.

Turning to him I put my foot on the counter across from me, right in between his legs, saying seductively, "Ya gotta earn it…"

He cocked an eyebrow and smiled. Kicking away my foot he hopped off the counter, pushed me lightly against the sink and said, "That can be arranged…"

His tongue made it into my mouth, me giggling and him smiling on my lips. Pretty soon, though, he began kissing me right under my jawline, his hand around my waist and his breath warm on my skin. I panted from the familiar feel…

But then I stopped.

He stopped kissing my jawline and looked up at me, tipping his head to the side and asking sweetly, "What's wrong, Sweet? You don't want me to know, do you?"

For the longest time I thought it was because I just didn't want him to see my bruises, but it was, as I established later, that it was the simple fact that Steve had kissed this same neck. He had put his fingers around this neck. He had choked me. He had touched me.

_What am I thinking trying to be with Two-Bit after what I did with Steve? Why did I even consider it?_

He cocked his eyebrow, "You okay?"

_Tell him now!_ I screamed in my head. _Tell him what you did! Tell him who touched and why you stopped! Tell him what Steve and you have been doing. Do it now!_

Inside I wanted to tell him everything, but just like with Dally I sucked it up and said, "Yeah, I don't."

"Why?" He whined.

"You…" _what do I say?_ "You have to buy me ice cream and then we'll come back to this place…and in the morning," I placed my hand on his chest, "I'll tell ya."

He pouted for a moment, and then I said, "You can get some ice cream t-" and before I knew it he was grabbing his coat and heading toward the door.

Right before we left, though, he kissed me, with knowledge that he wouldn't be able to do so outside.

He stuck his hands in his pockets and we made our way to the Dairy Deluxe near by, Two-Bit talking about all the different ice cream flavors he wanted to choose from, me telling him to flip a coin.

"Good idea, Sweet," he dug for one in his pocket, "Tails'll be Rocky Road and heads'll be butter pecan."

He flipped a quarter, me catching it and tossing it in the gutter next to the street.

He ran to the sewer in desperation to find out and I laughed. It was dark as dark could be, and the streetlights didn't even help.

"Wait!" he yelled at the sewer, "I think it's…I think it's heads…or is that a nickel?"

I couldn't help but laugh. He came back to me with the same pouting face he had made earlier, me withstanding laughter for about a second, then putting my head against the wall next to us and laughing into it.

He patted my shoulder and I moved from the wall, the two of us continuing our journey to Dairy Deluxe.

"Now I'll never know," he pretended to cry, "Why ya gotta be so mean?"

I shrugged, "You just need to learn to flip it farther away from me."

"And higher, shorty!" He shot.

I gasped, "I am only an inch shorter than you, Two-Bit! It's been proven!"

"Who knows? Maybe you shrank over the past month or so?" he put his hand on my head, "Looks like ya have."

We arrived at our destination, the sound of a car pulling up behind us in the parking lot. The couple in front of us finished their order and left, the man at the window telling us he'd be right back.

"Oh, so we're not as cool as they are, huh?" Two-Bit playfully asked me.

My finger poked at his pocket, "Or maybe they're just afraid of your switch."

He grabbed his pocket in pride and I smiled. That was Two-Bit's prize. Well, second prize since his original was lost.

It was just me and Two-Bit after the couple left. It felt good to be alone with him, his memorable aura and his humorous life. It felt so comforting to just have him as mine…

Even though I never appreciated it before.

I didn't know when to tell him. _Should it be now? Should I just break down and tell him now?_

Indecisive someone decided for me, 'cause the next thing I know there's a hard blow to the back of my head, my next sight the bright lights of a room.

"Where am I?" It took me a while to speak.

I saw Evie stand over me, "Sweet, you're up!"

"Where's Two-Bit?" I shot up in my bed and, as expected, I was in a hospital, "What happened?"

"You were knocked out," she continued, "Sweet, they-"

"Where is Two-Bit?" I was getting impatient. I got out of the bed, "Where is he? What happened to him?"

"He's in another room," the second after she answered I began to head out, but she grabbed my arm, "Sweet, you can't see h-"

"Why?" I pulled my arm away and opened the door, "Two-Bit!"

"Sweet!" She began to chase me.

"Which room, Evie?" I asked her, still ahead of her.

"Sweet, you-"

"Which room?!"

"Sweet!"

She pushed me against the wall, the hall empty once one of the doctors turned the corner.

She panted, "You can't see him."

"Why not?!" I didn't care how loud I got. This was Two-Bit we were talking about.

"It's a _hospital_, Sweet," she stated, "This is a _Holy Cross_ hospital. You can't see him here."

"Why?" _You know the answer, Sweet._

She looked at me sympathetically for a moment, and then said, "You're going to want to hold his hand. You'll want to wipe away his tears once he sees you. You'll want to kiss him. You'll want to touch, and Sweet unfortunately you can't in this word.

"You know better than anybody how unfair it is that…" she paused as a nurse came by, and once she turned the corner she kept her voice low, "that it is an unfair world we live in and you cannot be publically seen with a man.

"Yes, you are going to say that you can control your wish to touch and show affection, but I _know_ you, Sweet…and god forbid you slip up."

My eyes were watery as I accepted what she had told me. However, I really wanted to know what happened to Two-Bit.

"Where is he, Evie?" My voice was soft and cracked because of my tears, but I had to know.

She looked down at the ground for a second, then said, "In I. C. U."

I put my hand over my mouth, no longer holding back tears.

I crouched down and began to sob. _This isn't happening. This is my fault. I told him we should go out. I was afraid. It's my fault, it's my fault, it's my fault!_

It became hard to breathe as I bawled, Evie crouching next to me with her hand on my back. This was too much. This was impossible.

After a while I mustered up the ability to catch my breath and ask her, "What happened?"

"I'm not too sure," her hand rubbed my back, "He was found earlier this morning and brought in at five thirty. He got out of surgery"-I bit my hand-"at seven, but I'm pretty sure he's still asleep."

My teeth made imprints in my knuckles, "Why was he in surgery?"

She sighed, "Sweet, all I can gather is that they knocked you out and took Two-Bit."

My tears tasted like salt as they went in between my lips, the blood from my fist dripping onto the floor.

I finally looked up at her.

This was the woman's who's husband I touched. I had been with this woman's love; this woman's life; this woman's husband.

Grabbing her I sobbed onto her shoulder, somehow managing to say, "I'm so sorry, Evie. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I am so sorry…"

She held me close. She didn't know what I was apologizing for, and she didn't know what I had done with Steve, but all she knew was that I was panicking and afraid, and that I the love of _my_ life might die.

_You got Two-Bit hurt. You got him in I. C. U._

_And you're crying even though you slept with her husband?_

_What the hell is wrong with you?_


	14. Pain

Iris and Evie were allowed to visit Two-Bit, even Dally and Steve, but not me.

Ms. Mathews came up from Tulsa to be there for Two-Bit. She could see Two-Bit, Evie and Iris could see Two-Bit…

I couldn't see the man I loved.

It killed me every time they would come back to tell me about his condition, what he says about me, etc.

"All we really can get from him," Iris came back to my room one night, "is that you were knocked down and he was gagged. He pulled out his switch, tried to stab them, but they used it against him and pulled him into the truck. He says he awoke in the hospital."

_Two-Bit's assaulted and I can't see him?_

Sometimes I would sit up in my bed, grab a pillow and scream into it. I couldn't stand not being there for him. I couldn't stand not supporting him through everything. I couldn't stand not knowing what's to come next.

I would stay up every night crying. Only reason the hospital kept me there was because I had a blow to the head, and "head injuries aren't to be ignored or misconstrued."

However, on the fourth night of my stay I was allowed to leave, but I didn't want to.

Two-Bit was still there.

I couldn't leave him.

By the fifth day I didn't have a choice, and I stayed the night at the Curtis', refusing to go back to my house without Two-Bit.

_Why would someone assault us?_ I couldn't figure it out. _Why would someone do this to us? Why take Two-Bit and not me? Did they try to take me but Two-Bit fought them off? What happened in the truck? What happened while I was out?_

Darry came home early one day, "Sweet? Iris?"

"Iris took the kids to the park," I called from the kitchen, "and I'm making you guys fried chicken tonight."

Darry walked into the kitchen. I turned to him, a smile on his face, but I could see slight pity.

I felt offended, "What?"

He bit his bottom lip, sighed, and said, "Sweet, this isn't fair."

"I know it's not," I burst, "I know."

There was a tense pause before I placed the bowl I had in my hands down and proceeded to rant, "I know it's not fair, Darrel. I know! Two-Bit's the fucking love of my life and _I _can't see him because I happen to be a man! It kills me, _kills_ me to not be there to hold his hand, to comfort him, to let him know it's all going to be okay! Goddamn it, Darry, I'm just as scared as he is and I-"

My eyes began to burn as the tears I had been fighting back finally rushed through, Darry hugging me as I crouched to my knees.

He had nothing to say, and nor did I.

Once my tears were finished I remained in his grasp. It felt so nice to be in someone's warm arms again.

At the same time, though, I worried that Darrel might think I'm coming onto him if I stayed long enough. I feared if someone caught him holding me they'd think he'd be gay…

But knowing Darry that kind of stuff would be easily taken care of.

I looked up at him, a slight smile on his face.

"Let's go for a walk," he said after a brief pause, "Some air will do you some good."

He was right. I had been spending a lot of time inside.

Putting on my shoes he led me out, the air brisk but rather soothing, somewhat like the pain Steve would put me through…

I began thinking a lot about that as we walked in silence. I began thinking about what would've happened when Two-Bit came back if I hadn't slept with Steve. I questioned if the very action of not having sex with him would've still led to me asking Two-Bit to walk with me.

I looked over at Darry and he was admiring the trees as we walked, smiling contently and calm as ever.

"I'm just angry, Darry," I said softly, "I didn't mean what I said about Pony and-"

"Yes you did."

I stopped walking and he did too. He continued to explain, "You meant it. You may not have truly been talking about Ponyboy and Cherry," he looked at me, "but you still meant it."

Was it that obvious that I had really been talking about me, Steve, and Two-Bit?

Darry made a light grin and began to walk again, "So, how's the bakery?"

I caught up with him, "We've considered lowering our prices."

"Why?" Darry caught a falling leaf.

"It's too expensive. I mean, I know people seem to worship my baking, but we're too pricy." It was true.

He shrugged, "Maybe pricy's good. Maybe it shows just how worth it they are."

I smiled, "Maybe you're right. You know, I have al-"

"Yo, faggot!"

I froze in my tracks.

I almost stopped breathing.

_My god…_

_Did they attack Two-Bit?_

I expected Darry to clock them, and clock them good, but he just patted my back and kept on walking, somewhat dragging me with him.

"Faggot!" they called again, "Yo, dick-sucker!"

I looked up at Darry nervously, but he was just looking ahead, walking in the same direction, and a grin still on his face.

"Come over here and show me why you fuck guys, faggot!" there was more than one of them, "Yo, I'm talking to you!"

I could hear someone walking up closer behind us, but before they could get too close Darry turned around and punched him square in the jaw.

"Leave us alone, prick," Darry firmly demanded, "Got it?"

Darry led me away once again, but that guy would not give up, "Bet you're protecting him 'cause you fuck him…don't you?"

Darry gritted his teeth, but kept walking, one of them grabbing me from behind, Darry getting in a fight with the other three.

I screamed and tried to bite my attacker's hand, but all he did was hold me back and make me watch the fight between Darry and the others.

They got him cornered pretty quick, punching him uncontrollably and the man behind me holding a knife to my throat.

"You fucking fag," he grunted, "Let's see how pretty you are to your boyfriend after my knife's got ya…"

I screamed as loud as I could, but the sound of sirens frightened our assaulters and muffled my scream.

"Damn." The guy behind me let go of me and jumped into a car, calling for the others to get in. Instead, the three guys pushed Darry into the street, a car making its way in his direction…

They hopped in their car and rode off just as the vehicle hit him.

"Darrel!" I cried. I ran to him, "Darry!"

A woman came rushing toward us, "My god-"

"Call 911!" I desperately shouted, practically ignoring the fact that she was right next to me.

The police car arrived and alerted the hospital faster than she could, Darry's pulse fading by the minute.

_No._ I told myself. _Things like this don't happen…_

They rushed him off in the ambulance, me calling to tell Iris and Evie. I got a ride from the policemen, anxiously awaiting the fate of my friend.

_My relationship with Two-Bit has called all this unhappiness, all this pain…_

My friends were getting beaten, I can't be faithful, my boyfriend gets assaulted, people don't talk to us…

At times I wondered if our relationship was even worth it.

We got to the hospital and Darry was rushed inside, Iris running next to the gurney. A hand patted my shoulder, me turning to see Ms. Mathews.

There were no words, just a hug.

It was all I needed.

I could visit Darry, but I didn't want to. Who knows what people would do after what happened earlier?

However, I couldn't go back to work. Myrna even insisted I don't.

"You've been assaulted, SweetTooth!" she explained on the phone, "No way you're coming back to work today."

I believed work would've gotten my mind off the fact that I couldn't see my boyfriend. The fact that I practically was the very reason all of this happened.

I spent the next two days tending to Darry's children, his wife spending all her time by his bedside.

_I can't see Two-Bit but she can see Darry._

Tears came to my eyes whenever I'd think about it. It wasn't fair and it wasn't right in any way; my love for Two-Bit was just as strong as Iris's love for Darrel.

Then again, could this be my punishment? Could this have been my punishment for not appreciating Two-Bit enough, now the possibility that he may die?

_God wouldn't let that happen…_

_Would he?_

Later that week I was just getting over the feeling of helplessness when Trevor called to tell me that he had met Dallas.

"He's so frican awesome, man!" he told me, "He came in 'cause he found out I had a record and wanted to know what for. Turns out we were in the slammer for the same thing: The sticky fingers. We goin' out for drinks later!"

I knew Dallas, and I never thought he'd try to make a friend that quick.

"He jumped me in a sense," Dally explained when I got him on the phone not long after Trevor hung up, "We found out we had records, we hit it off pretty well, and he wanted to go out.

"I don't feel good about this, Sweet. I mean, he's a kid-"

"He's two years younger than you, Dally," I scoffed, "Don't worry about it. Trevor is great."

He sighed, " 'pose you're right, Sweet. I'll go get drinks with 'im."

So that's where it was: Dally and Trevor were getting to know each other, Evie and Steve were together, Iris could visit Darry, and I couldn't see Two-Bit.

I accepted my defeat and went to visit Darry.

On my way there, though, I tried to figure out what had held me back_. Was it the punch? Did it have to do with what I did with Steve? Did it have anything to do with these past few weeks?_

I saw Darry in the wheelchair and decided to forget all about it.

He seemed rather cheery for a man whose brother's missing, friends assaulted, and the possibility of never walking again.

Nevertheless I smiled along with him.

"Hey, Darry." I walked into the room.

He turned to me, "Hello, Sweet."

I remembered the last time we were in a hospital room together. He sobbed at my bedside, begging for forgiveness, and I did just as he asked: I forgave him.

I felt obligated to kiss his feet and cry about how my relationship with Two-Bit got him assaulted and almost killed. I wanted to tell him I didn't mean to punch him, that I was just taking everything that was going on out on him.

He smiled saying gently, "Why don't you have a seat?"

He seemed to have been thinking all the same thoughts.

Walking fully into the room I didn't wish to sit, but I did wish to get a good look at him.

"So how you doing?" I placed my hand on the counter next to him, leaning on it.

"I'll be fine," he shrugged, "It feels weird without someone else being here, but Iris has to take care of the kids and everyone else has lives of their own…" he picked up his water, "How about Two-Bit?"

"From what I've heard he's fine." I responded, and he knew what I meant.

There was a pause in the air. It felt like one of those silences that needed to be broken, and I knew how to break it.

"Darry…" I wanted to look down at my shoes and forget that I was here. I felt, as I have for the past two weeks, the strongest surge of guilt I ever have, "You defended me. You stood up for me and you got hurt," I began to remember what happened when he ran to me when I was in the hospital, "You almost died…"

_Darry swallowed, "Sweet, I'm…I'm so sorry…I didn't…I didn't mean for this to happen."_

_A tear or two came down his face as he smiled._

He patted the hand I had on the table and said, "It's okay."

Looking into Darry's eyes I saw the sincerity of his words. It's not that I didn't believe him; it was just that I needed something to back me up. I needed something to tell me he wasn't just saying it to make me feel better.

And soon I was pushed to my side, Darry's plastic cup crashing to the ground and an angry voice screaming at him.

"I thought you were dead!" I recognized the voice, "You fucking bastard!"

"I thought _you_ were dead!" Darry screamed. I turned to see who was attacking him, "Why do you always have to run off like that?"

"Don't ever make me think you died again!" Ponyboy was shaking his older brother, Darry's hand firmly on Pony's shoulder.

"Don't ever leave again like that," Darry's voice was calmer than before, "and you've got a deal."

Pony's eyes were watery as he stopped shaking his brother. He wiped away his tears and said weakly, "I can't lose both of you…"

Darry looked sadly at Pony for a moment, and then used his arms to pull him into a hug. He cried onto Darry's shoulder, Darry doing the same to Pony.

I didn't mean to watch, but it was so heartwarming. It was the first truly soothing event I had seen in a while. It was the first time I could simply observe some form of love without flinching or feeling dirty.

They took their time for separating, and once they did the two of them chuckled, Pony doing a double take when he saw me.

He scratched the back of his head, "Um…Sorry that I-"

"I'm glad you're back, Pony." I stopped him.

He smiled, "Glad to be."

We had a quick hug, nice and sweet, and once it was over the phone rang, Darry answering it.

"Hello?" he asked, Pony sitting down on the bed and me still standing, "Hey, Evie…Uh-huh…Oh, that's wonderful…No, I understand. It's okay, really…Okay…Tell Steve and Kim I said 'goodbye', okay? All right…Okay, by the way, Pony's back…I know…won't be the last time…Okay, bye, Evie…Bye."

"What's goin' on?" Pony asked once Darry hung up the phone.

"Their house has been fixed," Darry picked up another cup, "and they're heading back to Alabama ASAP."

I felt my heart stop.

_No._ I thought to myself. _I cannot let Steve go without talking to him. This has got to be finished. This has got to._

"Glad you're better, Darry," I patted Pony's back, "and I'm glad you're back, Ponyboy."

He nodded and I made my way out the room, out the hospital, and gingerly made it into my car.

Steve Randle wasn't getting away that easily.


	15. Closure

I couldn't get myself to drive right up to his house or to where they were loading the car.

_Two-Bit's in the hospital, Dally's out with Trevor, and Iris is with the kids… What's stopping me?_

I didn't know how to answer it.

Stepping out the car I watched Steve try to lug some bags into his car, Evie arriving and picking them up with no sweat. He picks _her_ up and twirls her. I heard her laugh from where I was, and pretty soon he sets her on the ground. She kisses him and heads back into the house, his next sight my smiling face.

There was a pause between us. We looked directly at each other. I didn't want to walk over there, but I did want to talk to him. He stared for another moment or two, and then turned back into the house and I simply stood.

_No, Steve._ I thought to myself. _You ain't getting away that easy._

I sat down on a bench next to where I stood, trying to muster up the courage to walk over to him and demand we speak before he leaves. We needed closure; we needed to solve what was between us.

"This seat taken?"

_Speak of the devil._

I turned to see Steve, his hands in his pockets and a light grin on his face.

I shook my head, "Not at all."

He sat on the bench next to me, the pause between us embarrassing and rather awkward, but we both needed to talk.

"Pony's back?" Steve asked.

I grinned, "Yeah. He gave Darry a good smack for making him think he had died before the big reunion happened."

Steve laughed, "Sucks we can't see 'im before we leave."

"I'm glad I could see you."

We looked at one another for a moment…I had been inside this man. I had seen his body. I had touched this man. I had kissed this man.

_What did this all mean for Steve, though? What does this mean for him?_

I wanted to ask him if he had feelings for me. I wanted to ask if he felt as horrid as I did. I wanted to ask if he wanted it again…

"You straight, Steve?" I broke the silence with the one thing I didn't think I'd ask him.

He made a nervous grin, "Yeah, Sweet. I am."

I felt this urge to cry. I didn't regret what I did with Steve. I guess it needed to happen so he could figure some things out…

And I guess I needed to figure some things out too.

I heard Evie's voice call and Steve waved, me in too deep a thought to turn.

He looked back at me, smiling, then standing and heading over to his family.

After accepting the truth I turned to see Steve pick up his daughter and put her in the car, kissing his wife as he opened the door for her.

Before he got in he looked over at me, me smiling and him returning it. I saluted, him saluting back as he got into the car, checked that his daughter was strapped in, and drove off.

Lots zoomed through my mind at this point. I had been with a woman's husband. I had been with a man Two-Bit trusted. I had been with a man that was straight.

_Did I use him? Was I that insensitive? Do I have feelings for him?_

I decided to come to a conclusion:

I did use Steve and he used me back. As mentioned we just needed time to figure things out.

Standing I put my hands in my jean pockets, pulling out some candy corn and tossing it on my mouth.

"Ain't as good as Marcia's," I sighed, "but they'll do."


	16. Returning Home

Two-Bit came home shortly after Steve and Evie left.

"Be home already, Sweet," Ms. Mathews told me over the phone, "We don't need to have you two jumped a second time."

"Long as he gets here I could care less." I responded, hanging up the phone.

I was so excited. Two-Bit was coming home and I was ready for him.

All the options of what I could do when I saw him raced through my head: Beg him for forgiveness, claim it wasn't my fault, kiss and make him welcome…

There was a knock at the door.

I held my breath.

_Here we go…_

Opening the door I couldn't help but smile, "Baby…"

Two-Bit made a light smile, "Hi."

His mother was behind him, helping him walk in. I moved out the way so he could get in all the way.

He was weak, it was easy to tell, but he was there. He was with me in the house. He was safe.

Once he walked all the way in I couldn't resist bringing him into my arms, most likely harsher than I should have.

Out of all the options listed before I chose the first.

"I'm sorry, Two-Bit," I muffled into his shoulder, "I didn't mean for you to have to get assaulted. Two-Bit, I'm-"

He parted from me fast and unexpectedly. He stared at me with his mouth slightly open, but no look from his eyes.

_Is he that mad at me?_

"Two-Bit?" Ms. Mathews asked from the doorway, "Are you all right?"

He looked back at her for a moment, then turned to me, a nervous grin appearing after a pause, "Sorry, Sweet. I…I just don't want you blaming yourself."

He seemed so withdrawn; I knew he meant what he said, but that wasn't why he parted from me.

He came up to my face and lightly touched my shoulder, looking at me for a moment. Sighing he concluded, "I'm going to bed," and head into the bedroom.

I looked at Ms. Mathews, "What just happened?"

She came in the house more, "I'm not too sure, Sweet…But people that have been through traumas sometimes need some space."

I sighed, "So I shouldn't have…done what I did?"

She looked sympathetic, "Time. Time is what you should give him."

Looking at her watch she raised her eyebrows, "I have to go back to the hotel and make my stay longer. You need anything else, Sweet?"

I took a moment to think, "No, Ms. Mathews. I'll be fine. Thank you."

She nodded lightly. Before she left, though, she said to me, "If you need anything, someone to talk to, someone to lean on, I'm here."

I smiled, pulling her into a hug.

"I love you, Ms. Mathews." I muffled into her shoulder.

She hugged me back, "I love you too, Sweet."


	17. I beg your pardon?

When I arrived back to work Myrna and Trevor were more than happy to see me; Myrna happy because she missed me, and Trevor because he wanted someone else to help him.

"Thank god you're back, SweetTooth!" Trevor cried, "Now wash the stove."

I laughed and ruffled his hair, taking the sponge willingly. Myrna came up behind me, patting my back.

"You feeling better?" Myrna took the sponge from me and gave it to Trevor, "Heard you got hit hard. Is there anything we can do?"

I shook my head, "I'm fine. I will be."

I soon remembered that my attitude the last time they saw me was just plain old grouchy and distant. I guess me coming back to work, and the smack on the head, was what made them believe I returned to my normal self. I had, but I couldn't tell if it was obvious.

Putting on my mittens I pulled a tray of freshly made muffins out the oven; Trudy was coming.

"She's been wondering where you've been, Sweet," Trevor kneaded dough, "I didn't tell her you had somebody. Just told her you were on a vacation."

"Why didn't you tell her?" Myrna asked Trevor, "I would've if it were me."

"None of her business, duh." Trevor quickly said.

"It's none of yours either." I told him, Myrna smiling at me as she whipped the frosting.

The bells chimed on the door and I expected Trudy, but it was one of the people I never thought I'd see come into a bakery of any kind.

"Hey, Sweet." Dally removed his cigarette.

I cocked an eyebrow, "Hey, Dally. What you doing-"

" 'Sup, Dal? " Trevor completely ignored the dough and came out from behind the counter, Dally greeting him with a low high five.

"Yo, Trev, I'm going up back to New York. Ya wanna come with?" Dallas inhaled his cigarette afterward, Trevor's jaw dropping and letting out a silent scream.

"Definitely, man!" he blurted out, "Yeah! What do I need? I'll pack my bags by tonight and I'll be-"

"Wait a minute, wait a minute, and wait a minute!" Myrna held up her finger and walked over to Trevor and Dally, "You can't just leave me and Sweet here alone to go on a fieldtrip with this, uh…"

"Dallas Winston." He exhaled his smoke.

"Wallace Dimson," Myrna said, Dally shooting her a look, her unaware and not caring, "to New York. It's completely unfair and completely-"

"Have fun, you two." I said calmly from behind the counter, everyone turning in sync at me.

Myrna stammered for words but Trevor high fived Dally, accepting the cigarette he was offered.

I didn't really feel Trevor had a reason to not go with Dallas. Dally's been seeming a little lonely, Trevor a big, and besides I somewhat owed them. I owed everyone; I'd been such a bitch.

"Yo, Sweet," Dally came up to me and smiled, "thanks for telling me to hang with this kid, man. He's good company."

"My pleasure." I smiled back.

"Keep in contact with me about Two-Bit," Dally playfully wrapped his arm around Trevor's neck, "and I'll make sure this guy comes back safe. All right?"

"No prob. Just have fun up there."

I was sincere. Dallas needed to continue on with life, and Trevor was just a kid that wanted to experience some good times. What would ever be the problem with them experiencing the world together?

Trevor left, saying he'd call us when he arrived in the Big Apple.

Myrna turned to me with a confused face after the two of them left. She gestured at the door but said nothing.

I smiled, "They'll be fine."

She looked at me for one more moment, but then walked behind the counter and proceeded to make cookies. Pretty soon after the bells chimed once more, I placed the muffins in their usual container.

"'ello, Trudy." I spun around to see her.

She gasped, "Sweet! I haven't seen you in forever."

Smiling I placed the containers on the counter, "I haven't seen you either."

She put her purse down as always, but she didn't start pulling out the eight dollars and thirty cents she always did. She leaned her elbow on the counter, smiling broadly at me, "How you doing?"

"I'm fine, perfectly," I small-talked, "You?"

"Good." She brushed back her hair.

There was a pause before se nervously laughed, pulling out the amount of money she owed me.

"How'd the farmer's market go?" I asked, "I know it's a bit late to ask, but-"

"Oh, not at all," she flung her purse over her shoulder, "Splendid. I bought these juicy, ripe tomatoes that are perfect for pasta sauce. They stay good for months at a time."

She looked down at the counter for a moment, saying somewhat nervously, "If you ever wanted to come over and try them you can…"

My head perked up immediately after she said that.

"What?" I cocked an eyebrow.

She blushed, "Never mind. I'll just be-"

"No, no, no," I grabbed her arm, "It just took me by surprise."

_Don't do it Sweet. _"I'd love to."

_No, no, Sweet!_

She seemed surprised, "You would?"

_What are you doing?_ "Of course. Eight?"

She picked up the containers, "Eight," she took my hand and pulled out a pen, "Here's my address."

_Sweet, what are you doing? My god, man, you're gay and…_

_I just answered my own question._

She concluded scribbling on my hand and smiled She turned to head out, but I rushed out from behind the counter to open the door for her. She seemed surprised, but nervously grinned and proceeded to walk out. Myrna came from the back of the bakery, a confused look on her face.

"Since when are you that nice, SweetTooth?" she placed a tray of red velvet cupcakes in the display case, "You let Trevor off, you open the door for Trudy…" she pursed her lips, "What about me?"

"You can go home." I responded quickly, a smile on my face.

She looked suspiciously at me, "Sweet, what's going on? Really? Does this have to do with what happened to you?"

She had posed a good question. _Had the attacks impacted me this much?_

I shrugged, "I kinda owe everybody. I was an ass last time I was here, remember?"

"Hard to forget," she nodded. I began cleaning off the glass on the display case, "Why was that?"

_Be vague. Please be vague…_

"Relationship troubles," I sighed, "Romance is hard."

She chuckled, "Honey, you can say that again."

The day was long for me. All I could think about was the reason why I accepted her date.

_It's so stupid…but maybe it'll be worth it._

Two-Bit went to his mother's that night, thus I wouldn't be missed too much.

The time came for me to go to my date and I went home, spruced up, and on my way there I picked up some wine and brought along some little cookies I had made.

_Sweet, you're crazy for doing this. My reason makes sense, but there are other ways to find out._

"One more time to make a mistake, tell a few lies…" I arrived at the address, "and then I'm going to Hell."


	18. A First Date

I used my foot to knock on the door, wine in one hand, the sweets in the other. I was nervous, but I knew what I was doing.

She opened it, "Sweet."

I showed her the cookies, "I brought some too…" I examined her dress, "My god, Trudy, you're beautiful."

She was wearing this low-cut, strapless piece, black lace at the top and at the bottom, only reaching to her knees. It was black, her heels tall and her hair out in an organized fashion.

She blushed, " You don't look too bad yourself."

Smiling she gestured for me to come inside, which I did, admiring the tidy house.

Gorgeous, it was. Simple. There was a living room with a fireplace, a dining table, the kitchen next to it, and a hallway leading to the bedroom and bathroom.

"It's almost as beautiful as you are." I said, handing her the wine and cookies.

She put my gifts in the kitchen, "Why thank you," I got some wine glasses, "Dinner's all set."

"Wine?" I asked her.

"Well, you don't seem to have bad taste," she served the plates, "so I'll have half a glass."

I poured them both halfway, my eyes more focused on her body. She had curved hips and I guess an "hourglass figure". She was simply pristine.

_She's absolutely stunning._ I noted in my head.

I placed the wine glasses on the table, coming back to the kitchen to take the plates out as well.

"Well, aren't you the perfect gentleman." She raised her eyebrows.

I smiled, "I'm nicer than you thought."

"No, I knew you were nice," she made sure the stove was off, "I just have never known many gentlemen."

I pulled out her chair for her, "And now you do."

She sat, me taking my seat.

She raised her glass, "What shall we toast to?"

I smiled, raising my glass as well, "To good food and unexpected friendships."

We clink glasses, the wine absolutely delicious.

"You know, where I come from," I made conversation as we began to eat, "we would toast to something after we ate so we could splash our drinks on one another."

"Are you serious?" she cocked an eyebrow, "Where are you from?"

I swallowed my food, "I was born in Missouri, but I grew up in Tulsa."

"Oklahoma?" She took another sip of wine.

I was surprised, "You are the only person I know that knows where Tulsa is. Everyone else is like, 'What? Tulsa? That some sort of Indian food'? By the way, this is amazing pasta. Your own recipe?"

"Surprisingly," she said, "I didn't even know it would turn out this successful. I've never really had a knack for cooking. As a child whenever I heard mom pull out her pans I'd rush downstairs in attempt to join her, but by that time she would've locked me out of the kitchen."

I laughed, "Were you that bad?"

She wiped her lips on her napkin, "Her exact words were, 'Not even a cat would crap on this.'"

I gasped, a grin on my face, "Well she was definitely wrong. This is marvelous food, Trudy. Delicious."

She showed her white teeth, "Why thank you, Sweet. However, I will never be as good as _you_ are. You are suburb!"

"Oh, come now," I placed my hands on my cheeks, "Now you're making _me_ blush."

She chuckled, not watching her knife.

"Ow!" She sharply said.

I took the knife away, "You okay?"

She held her finger, "I'm fine. I'm very clumsy."

"Let me see." I took her hand.

"It's nothing," she said, "I just wasn't paying attention to what I was doing. It's just a tiny cut, no big deal."

I took my napkin and dabbed away the blood, "I'll be getting you a Band-Aid." And before she could protest I was heading down the hallway, pulling a Band-Aid out the cabinet.

I returned, placing it on her finger, her hand in mine, "Better?"

She lightly nodded, "Much."

I smiled, "We don't want the hostess getting injured on us, now do we?"

She shook her head, my lips kissing her hand gently.

She seemed startled still by that action, but after a moment she smiled, me sitting back in my chair and continuing the evening.

Stories were told all throughout. We talked about our childhood and our parents a lot, and once we finished dinner we sat in front of the fireplace, in the living room, the cookies with us, her laughing at my stories.

"So, you barely remember your birth name?" She finished her cookie

"Being called SweetTooth for over eight years can do that to someone." I finished mine.

We looked over at the fireplace, watching the flames sparkle and Spackle within the confined space. I began to remember watching the sunset with Ponyboy for the first time, and admiring the way the trees looked like they were on fire.

"Well, whatever your name is." She said softly, me turning to look at her.

She turned to me, nervously attempting to find words. Then, she placed her hand on mine, me hesitant to respond.

"Sweet, I…" she sighed, "I really…I really like you…"

She was so embarrassed that she was redder than a rose. Looking away she bit her bottom lip, giving me some time to consider everything.

_Should I tell her I'm gay? Should I tell her I have a girlfriend? But then she'd think I'm a jerk for leading her on…_

But I had a reason for saying 'yes' to this date.

And I knew what that reason was.

I placed my hand under her chin and made her face me. She was still blushing and still nervous, but she was even more startled once I kissed her.

Yes, I kissed Trudy.

She calmed a little bit and began to kiss me back, but just as that started I stopped, blankly looking at her.

"I'm sorry," I said without a moment's hesitation.

Her hand was on my leg, "Don't be…"

I gently pushed it off, "No, Trudy. It's not the kiss. It's the fact that I agreed to go on this date…"

I could tell she was confused, but I continued anyway, "I used you so I could figure some things about myself. The truth is that I have a partner, but I wasn't unsure if I loved him. I was unsure if he was the man I wanted. I've never been with a woman, and jumping into a homosexual relationship seemed too sudden. I needed to broaden my horizons for at least one night…

"I am really sorry, Trudy, but you've helped me come to a conclusion I wouldn't have come to without your help," she looked so confused, "and I thank you for that."

Smiling it felt good to tell someone all of this. It felt good to be completely honest for the first time in a while…

I stood and continued to smile, "Thank you for a lovely dinner."

Walking toward the door I stopped, turned, and said, "By the way, our muffins are going down two dollars each, courtesy of Myrna."

And I left.

At first I felt rather cruel, but after I got into my car I felt a sense of success. I felt a sense of relief.

I had concluded that I am a gay man in love with Two-Bit Mathews.

And lying ain't a way to go through life.


	19. Confession

Ms. Mathews had already brought Two-Bit home and was asleep on the couch, Two-Bit next to her staring at a blank TV screen.

When he noticed me he seemed a bit surprised, but lightly said, "Hey, Sweet."

I nodded, "Hey, babe."

I lightly shook Ms. Mathews. It was time for me to pour my guts out, and I didn't want anyone else to hear it but whom it was intended for.

"Ms. Mathews?" I asked as she came to, "It's eleven ten, Ms. Mathews."

"Hey, Sweet," she yawned, "I'm sorry. I fall asleep?"

"You can stay if you want," I said, "but-"

"No, no," she got up, "I'll leave you two alone. Bet you been missing each other."

She kissed Two-Bit on the head, soon gesturing for me to step aside for a minute. Once we made it out she lost her smile.

"I just wanted to have you know," she said in all seriousness, "that he's edgy, _extremely_ edgy. I don't know exactly why, but I just feel that you should know. Okay?"

I nodded, "Thank you, Ms. Mathews."

She bit her bottom lip. I could tell it was difficult for her to see her son go through all of this, but I hugged her, kissing her cheek and letting her know everything would be okay.

She left, and I walked back into the house ready to tell him everything.

I had to tell him about Steve. I had to tell him about Trudy.

I just needed to come clean.

And he deserved the truth.

"Keith," I said simply, sitting down on the couch next to him "I have some news that I want you to know. I've been withholding it for too long and I just need to come clean."

He barely nodded and I continued, "For the past few months or so I've been having difficulty with my sexuality. I feel that I haven't had a lot of time to explore my other options and all the other possibilities. Please don't take this to mean that I don't love you. I _do_ love you, Keith, but I'm just confused and have done some things I know are immoral, but I don't regret them.

"I had intercourse with another man while you were in New York. His name or who he is does not matter, but the fact that I was with him is important. He helped me realized that I didn't want the same sexual partner forever, but I wanted you forever. However, that's not all I wanted to know.

"A woman I've known for a good amount of years, tonight in fact, has also helped me with discovering aspects of myself I would have never discovered truthfully without her help, but now I can see clearly.

"I love _you_, Keith 'Two-Bit' Mathews. I love you and I am a homosexual male in an unfair world. I want to be with you for as long as you will let me, but after all of the things I've done over the past few months I wouldn't blame you for not letting me be with you anymore. I just needed to let you know."

He simply stared at me. His eyelids were droopy, his facial expression was plain, but all I knew was that he had heard me.

_Say something. _I begged in my head. _Please…_

After an eternity of silence he stood, walked over to me and kissed me gently on the forehead. Once I saw his face he had a grin, "I understand."

His voice was raspy, as if he had not spoken since last I saw him.

He turned and slowly made his way to the bedroom, but I couldn't just let him walk away, "Keith."

He looked at me, the same blank face he had had before even more dull, and even more dead.

I hesitated to speak, "Are you sure?"

A pause until he grinned once again, "Yeah. I'm sure."

And he walked to the bedroom, leaving a confused expression upon my face, but I had no real choice but to believe him. I mean he would never lie after all that I had just dumped on him.

He had to have understood, and something inside me told me he did.

But in the depths of my heart something screamed at the top of its lungs, "He fucking _hates_ you."


	20. Safety First

"I need to leave this town."

I hadn't said much since I walked in. All I said to her so far was, "Hello. May I come in and have a glass of iced tea?" She obviously wasn't expecting anything too deep.

Iris put her glass down, "What?"

"I can't stay here," I further explained, "Most everyone knows about me and Two-Bit, and now that we're responsible for getting Darry hurt we shouldn't stay and cause more damage."

She was taken aback, but she understood where I was coming from. Two-Bit had gotten assaulted, Darry had gotten attacked, and soon enough, one day, Myrna and Trevor would find out, then God knows what would happen next.

She placed her cheek on her hand, "Sweet, I don't know what to say. I hate that something as simple as whom you love has caused you all this destruction."

"I'm lucky enough that I have friends like you guys, Iris," I sipped my iced tea, "I was surprised on how on board you were with my relationship with Two-Bit."

"Well, it was a shock," she mentioned, "but I grew up with a black man, which was obviously unaccepted in my childhood…but I loved that man," she sighed, "I really did."

I smiled, "What happened?"

She took a moment. Then, she adjusted herself in her chair, "My mom never really loved my father, but he asked her to marry him, thus she did. After I came along my father worked all the time, my mother being a housewife. I was three the first time I saw the black man. I had never seen one before, but mom hired him to be the gardener, since she had so many other things to worry about. He was like a father to me, Sweet. He'd play with me, he'd cuddle me, he helped teach me to walk, all of this just because he could. Most people who would've seen us would think that he kidnapped me or was planning to molest or kill me, but no. He simply loved me.

"He loved me the way my father never could've, and by the time I was eight he was beating on my mother. Then, out of the blue, the gardener jumped in front of her and fought him off, killing him in the process.

"The police figured it was a black man that wanted to rape my mother and my father interfered, the 'crazy nigger' killing him in a rage. My mother fought for the longest time to change the police's mind, but they never listened.

"Thus, she raised me with a lesson: People are people, and love is love. You can't control whom you love and you can't really control what color their skin is. You can't control their gender either.

"Sweet, love Two-Bit," she grabbed my hand, "No matter where you go, whether it be Maryland, Tulsa, Alaska, Australia I want you to promise me that no matter what anyone says that you will love whom you love and you will follow your heart. Understood?"

I nodded, smiling at her.

Iris Patrick Curtis understood me because of personal experience. She knew the area of which I was coming from. She knew the feeling of disapproval being shot at you from every corner. She knew the amount of hatred people felt toward love. She knew of hate.

She stood, "I haven't thought about him in years," she picked up our glasses, "I'm gonna get us some more tea."

She left to the kitchen, me leaning back in my seat at the dining room table.

_Should I leave? Should I stand my ground? What if they attack again? What if word spreads faster than it did in Tulsa? What if they _kill_ us?_

I didn't know what to do. With a secret like this I didn't know if I could be safe anywhere.

There was yelling outside the house.

Iris came back into the room, "What's that noise?"

I heard Darry's voice.

We headed toward the door.

I heard Pony's voice.

We opened the door.

Pony was simply supposed to bring Darry home from the hospital, but obviously something had come up.

"It's none of your business what I did when I left!" Pony cried. Some people stopped to watch from across the street.

"If you had sex with Cherry, Ponyboy, you need to get tested." Darry looked up at his brother.

"I am not getting tested for a disease that she doesn't even have!" Pony defended, louder than before, "She does not have HIV!"

"Yes she does, Pony!" Darry shot back, "She has HIV and you know it! She lied to your face about it- my god; you had to find out from gossip in Tulsa when you went down there two years ago. _Gossip_! She didn't even tell you herself!"

"You answered your own question, Darry," Pony huffed, "_Gossip_ is _gossip_. She doesn't have it!"

"Marcia saw the test results herself and showed them to me," Darry stated. There was a tense pause, "She has HIV."

Pony stared at his brother, his nostrils flared and his jaw clenched, fists balled and eyebrows arched. I know he didn't want to believe it. He loved Cherry. He loved her with every fiber in his being…

But it was true. She had lied to him. She put his life on the line.

Pony quickly glanced at Iris and me, soon turning and getting in his car, driving away faster than even Steve could drive.

Iris ran over to Darry the moment after Pony left, Darry nodding in reassurance. She rolled him into the house, me smiling at him. He smiled back, says 'hello', and I excuse myself back home.

I pull out a Payday bar, munching on it as I walk home.

When I arrive, though, I see someone sitting on the steps I did not expect to see, her gaze at her shoes.

"Myrna?" I put the rest of the bar in my pocket.

She looks up; she had been crying.

I walk over toward her, her bolting into my arms, "Myrna what…what happened?"

"He had to go with that Wallace Dimson!" she sobbed into my chest, "He had to go!"

I separated from her and looked into her eyes, "What are you talking about, Myrna?"

"Trevor's been beaten!" She screamed.

I was not hearing this.

"And now they're in jail."


	21. A Plan

I brought Myrna inside. Two-Bit hadn't gone to work since the incident, and if she saw him I prayed I could get away with a lie.

"I got the call right after you left work today," she wiped her eyes, "Trevor didn't know who else to contact."

We sat down on the couch as she continued, "Apparently they were suspected to be…lovers and some friends of Wallace's jumped them!" she pounded my chest, "My god, why'd we let him go?"

I brought her into my arms, "It'll be okay, Myrna. We'll fix this."

Two-Bit slowly walked into the living room, as if afraid of what he might find.

Myrna noticed his presence and separated from me, obviously startled.

I had to lie, "Myrna, this is my friend, Two-Bit. Two-Bit, this is Myrna. He's staying here for a while."

Myrna stood and stretched out a hand, "Nice to meet you, Two-Bit. We've heard good things about you."

He reacted the way he had for the past few weeks toward people, but he still shook her hand and said, "And same about you." His voice was raspy, as if he hadn't used it in months.

He turned back and headed back to the bedroom and all I could hope was that she believed my lie.

"So, what should we do?" I asked, changing the subject back to the matter at hand.

She captured her guard once again. Myrna had always seemed to be good at that. She could be bawling and groveling at your feet, but ten seconds later she'd be standing straight and affirmative telling you what to do making _you_ cry.

"Well…" she had no more tears in her eyes, "I think we should go up to New York and…and sort this out."

I leaned back on the couch, "Yes, but how? What were they arrested for?"

"The douchebags stuffed marijuana in their car and claimed they were defending themselves from Trevor and…what's-his-face's desperate attempts to shut them up. They even cut themselves with their own knives to keep up their story," she informed me, "Maybe we could prove them innocent."

"That'd take time," I stated, "We need them out before they get to prison itself…"

The very idea of two 'accused faggots' in jail brought chills to my skin. That would definitely never go over well.

We pondered for another few minutes, but then Myrna perked up, biting her lip saying, "I have an idea, but it's a long shot."

I was open to anything, "Shoot."

She took a heavy breath and then preceded, "We go and convince those bastards to drop the charges."

I liked the idea, "But how?"

She sighed, "Sweet, I have dealt with assholes like this all my life. They will either respond to money, threats, or sex. Obviously, sex is out. Threats are all empty, unless we can conjure up a way to get some burly men up there by tomorrow," I pictured Darry beating the hell out of whomever hurt Dally and Trevor, "thus money is last."

I pursed my lips to the side. I liked the idea, "I can get some from the bank."

"I might be able to salvage enough from my savings as well." She added.

I ruffled my hair, "But what if money doesn't work."

She took a minute, "We go to plan B."

I nodded; understanding what plan C was, "We taking a plane?"

"Tomorrow morning at eight thirty exactly," she said, "I wanna confront those bastards as soon as I can."

I liked this. I liked this a lot. A fight was what I would've suggested if I hadn't grown up. A fight was what I would've loved if I hadn't remembered those pieces of hair in the plastic bag tucked away in my room.

But a fight wasn't the answer.

Off to New York we go.


	22. Plan C

First thing the next morning I sat Two-Bit down and told him what I was planning to do.

"We don't have much to go On," I concluded explaining the plan, "but this kid needs my help."

He had the same expression he had had after I confessed everything about Steve and Trudy, but he grinned that same grin and said, "I understand, "He patted my shoulder, "Come back alive-"

"Two-Bit."

He looked down at his feet.

"Two-Bit, tell me the truth. I have dumped so much on you recently and I feel so guilty about it but I need you to be able to talk to-"

"Sweet…"

He removed his hand from my shoulder.

I trembled, "Sorry."

He stood, "I'm seeing my m-"

"You would tell me if you were upset," I needed to make sure, "right?"

He made the same face he's had for the past few days, "Of course, Sweet. I would."

I didn't believe him. I couldn't believe him. Nevertheless, I remembered what Ms. Mathews had said, _"Time. Time is what you should give him."_

And I'd give him as long as he needed.

We were to go to Jared's with the money and shake it in his face. If that didn't work we'd threaten him with the police. And if he didn't care…we'd do plan C.

"I have about three hundred and sixty-two dollars I can give them," she said on the plane, "What about you?"

"Two-Bit's mom gave me four hundred twenty-five," I leaned against the chair, "That woman is way too nice to me."

She chugged the wine she had ordered, "I'm real sorry plan C is even an option, if the money and the threats don't work-"

"Myrna, I get it," I looked over at her, "I mean, they're being sent off to prison in a few days and they've already both been forced to pay the 2,000 dollar fine. I don't even know how you would explain…" I lowered my voice; "how you would even explain having ten pounds of marijuana in the car I have no idea. Myrna, I understand…we just gotta get 'em out."

I ordered another glass of wine for myself and gave it to Myrna, since on planes a passenger can only get a drink each.

We were nervous, but we had less than a thousand dollars and a last resort, possibly even violence.

Once we landed in New York the first thing we did was visit Dally and Trevor in jail. They were in their regular clothes in a holding cell, but we needed to see them.

The officer put the four of us in a room, his arms crossed as he watched us commence with conversation.

"I'm telling ya I had nothin' to do with this, man," Dally said the second he saw me, "Ya gotta belie'e me."

"Myrna, Sweet, please get us out of here!" Trevor begged, "We can't go to prison. _I_ can't go to prison! I wanna be a fucking cop, you think possession of drugs is gonna look good on my resume?"

"Can't believe they framed us," Dally ruffled his hair, "Jared, you bastard…"

"We're gonna try to get them to drop the charges," Myrna explained, "Possibly even prove that you guys didn't even know the drugs were in the car. How, though, is the problem."

"Do whatever you have to," Trevor seemed on the verge of crying, "If Juvy was a nightmare I cannot begin to imagine what prison's gonna be like."

"Trevor, I _promise_ you," I said, "we are going to get you guys out of here."

I don't know why I promised him such a thing, but I guess it was just seeing Trevor like that drove me a bit angry and afraid of what really would happen to him once he arrived to prison. I didn't know how we would do it, but we needed to.

The officer began taking the two of them back to their cell, Dallas wishing to steal a quick word with me.

"Only a minute." He said, backing up away from us a little bit.

"What's up, Dally?" I asked, my hands in my pockets.

If he had one he would've pulled out a cigarette. I could tell he was itching for one.

"Jared," he muttered, "He suspected…me and Trevor…me and that kid…"

He didn't seem to believe it. In fact, he seemed disgusted by it.

However, I didn't take it personally.

Dally was really the only one of the gang that seemed to really be uncomfortable with my relationship with Two-Bit. He rarely expressed it and rarely brought it up, but when he'd see us together he'd look the other way or even leave.

He looked down at the ground and cracked his jaw, muttering grimly, "Goddamn it, Sweet, what did you do?"

He looked back up at me, his face stern, yet frightening the way he was sincere.

I felt like I was back in front of the library during my break the day after Two-Bit confessed his love for me during a celebratory dinner.

_"What the fuck did you turn Two-Bit into?"_

He had blamed me for Johnny's death, for Soda's death, for Sandy getting pregnant, and for Two-Bit loving me.

_And now he's blaming me for getting him into this mess._

Technically I had gotten him into it. I did let Trevor go up to New York with him, but that doesn't mean that I should get all the blame for it. It was Dally's stupid ass friends that did it.

But he was still somewhat correct.

He glared at me as the officer took him back to his cell, only turning his gaze away from me when Trevor approached him in fear.

"Everything okay?"

I turned to Myrna, "I'm fine."

We left the police station, Myrna clenching onto the address Trevor had given her for where Jared lived.

We arrived at our destination, me stuffing my Kit Kat bar in my mouth. My entire body was shaking, yet infuriated, and yet terrified. All these "what ifs" popped into my mind, but I didn't have time to think about what _could_ happen once we confronted Jared.

We were doing this for Trevor and Dallas.

Time to suck it up.

We made our way up the staircase to the apartment. It was a rather crappy place when I really observed it. Our bag of money was tucked underneath my jacket in slight fear that someone other than Jared and his friends would take it.

Myrna knocked on the apartment door and it seemed to take years before it was answered.

"Yeah?" A man's voice asked before opening the door.

I had never met Jared, but his voice was distinct.

And he was standing right in front of me.

Myrna seemed disgusted the second she saw him. He had no shirt on, and in the background his apartment was crappier than the building he lived in.

He straightened up a little when he noticed it was a woman, "Well, hello."

"Jared?" She asked affirmatively.

He smiled, "Guilty as charged."

_"Guilty as charged."_

_I like the sound of that for him._

She gestured for me to pull out the money as she proceeded, "We are here on the behalf of Dallas Winston and Trevor Malone."

He put his hand through his hair, "What about 'em?"

"You assaulted them." She bluntly said.

He cocked his eyebrow, "No, babe, you got it all wrong. _They_ tried to beat us, but we fought back. I got the cuts to prove it."

"After you allegedly found ten pounds of marijuana in the back of their car, correct?" She continued.

"Exactly!" he somewhat shouted. He grinned, "You ain't too shabby for a chick."

"Well, as convincing as that all sounds," she sarcastically said, "Mr. Jared, you're a fucking liar."

He was taken aback. So was I.

"W…" he stammered, "What-what are you-"

"We know Dallas and Trevor and we know they would never pack marijuana in their car. We know that you inflicted those wounds in effort to frame them after you suspected them to be homosexuals, isn't this right, sir?"

He was amazed and completely speechless.

_We got ya._ I smiled.

I began to place the moneybag back in my jacket but he smiled. I mean, _smiled_ and said, "Damn, babe, you good."

She sounded proud, "So you confess and drop the charges?"

He laughed, "When did I ever say that?"

There was a pause before he continued, "Yeah, we taught 'em a good lesson. I mean, come on; two fags in _my_ house? Hell no. The marijuana came later once we decided that they needed to be around more guys they could bang. So yes, I confess…but I'm not confessing to the cops."

Myrna turned to me and pulled the money out of my jacket herself, turning back to Jared and saying angrily, "Then will this change your mind?"

He took the bag from her and opened it, seeming to just stare down at it. Then, he made that same smile and looked up at us. He looked Myrna up and down with his eyes.

"No amount of cash could make me drop the charges on those faggots," his gaze looked downward, "…but something else might…"

My heart seemed to stop.

I could tell Myrna was fearful herself, but she stood her ground, "And what might that be?"

He licked his lips, "Let's just say," he touched her cheek, "that you'd be waking up here tomorrow morning…"

She grabbed the hand touching her cheek in anger and turned to me for backup, but I simply shook my head, my way of saying, "If you hurt him he'll never confess."

She looked back at Jared; his smile the same, and thrust his hand away, but didn't hurt him.

"When would we have to be here?" She asked less affirmatively.

He had her where he wanted her, "My buddies are coming at around eight…be here around thirty before. Got that, babe?"

If this weren't for Trevor she would've beat the living shit out of him, but she simply nodded as he handed the bag of money to her, Myrna handing it back to me. She left, leaving me standing in front of him.

He looked me up and down as well, biting his bottom lip and raising his eyebrow in approval.

"You better show up too, babe," he finished examining me, "I got more than two people to satisfy."

I just stood there, the fear hidden as deep as it could, but I couldn't resist looking timid. As I turned to leave his hand smacked my butt, me stopping in my tracks. He shut the door and I stood in place, suddenly sprinting down the steps.

I reached Myrna at the foot of the apartment building, her eyes gazing into the gutter.

"I didn't want it to go this far, Sweet," she sounded on the brink of crying, "I would've done every other which was, but…he had me Sweet…he had me…"

Myrna never liked being used or having sexual relations with someone that she didn't really care for, but she cared about Trevor and getting him out of trouble.

She looked up at me, "I have to do it."

She wiped her eyes, "I'll be able to. You can try and find another way to-"

"Wait a minute," I stopped her, "Are you planning on going up there alone?"

She seemed surprised, but nodded, "He wants a woman to satisfy his friends and him…I'll make do."

"Hell no, Myrna," I said firmly, "That's dangerous. You are _not _heading up to that apartment without someone you can trust."

"Well, none of my girlfriends are in New York, Sweet," she said matter-of-factly, "So what do you-"

"He wants me to come with you."

She was very confused.

"He thinks I'm a woman," I explained, "and he wants me to come up with you."

She stood there, trying to comprehend this, "But…if he finds out that you're a man there would be no chance of Trevor and Dallas getting out."

She was right. If they figured out that I wasn't a woman they would be infuriated and the whole deal would be off. _However, would the deal be off if I didn't come in all? What if I set certain ground rules, like only doing blows and anal?_

The very idea of having sex with those bastards disgusted me. I shut my eyes tight, trying to forget the idea.

Myrna snapped me out of my nightmare, "He specifically asked you to come?"

I swallowed, "He said, 'you better show up too. I got more than two friends to satisfy' and out of fear and shock I couldn't open my mouth to tell him that I was a man. It just…I'm sorry. My god, I've ruined it…"

I had just gotten over my lusting for another man's body and another man's lips, and now this asshole has to drop this in my lap: Have sex with at least two other men.

Jesus, months ago that would've been what I dreamed for, but I had gotten over that. I had convinced myself of my love for Two-Bit.

_You're never going to give me a break, are you?_ I asked in my head. _It's never going to end…_

I sighed, "Myrna, no matter if I go up there as a man or as a woman you are _not_ going up there alone. It's at least three men and it's dangerous and completely unsafe. Myrna, I will try my best to convince them that I am a woman…but this was Plan C…and Plan C was an option."

We focused on each other and each other only. This was crazy. What would happen if they found out I was a man I had no idea, but all our other options were out. We couldn't take them on our own and weapons weren't an option; these goons were experienced. They were friends of Dallas's, for god's sake. They knew how to kill if needed.

She grabbed my hand, "For Trevor."

I nodded, "For Trevor."


	23. Realization

Myrna parked in the mall parking lot.

"What are we doing here?" I sat up in my seat.

"You need to look convincing," she unlocked the door, "and so do I."

I was a pretty boy, quoting Two-Bit, but I wasn't pretty the way Sodapop was pretty. Soda looked like a gorgeous boy. I looked like a girl. Toss some make up on my face, give me some breasts and a dress and you've got a girl. Get rid of the breasts and you've still got a girl.

We walked in and out of different women's stores, Myrna taking lead in attempt to find whatever it was that we needed to find.

Then, she spotted the store.

"In here." She took my hand and pulled me in.

I saw where we were, "My god…"

There were racks and racks of nothing but women's lingerie and seductive garments.

I pulled her aside, "Why are we here?"

"They'll be wanting every sexual aspect we can give them," she explained, "I know it's embarrassing, but you are the one who said you would do anything for your friends."

I sighed. She grabbed my shoulders, "Look, I'm just as uncomfortable as you are, but this is part of what we have to do. Since we're trying to avoid, as much as possible, sex itself we should add the other aspects: Sensuality and seduction. That'd be best."

I understood what she meant, and I completely agreed. Sex was what they wanted, but with these garments we could at least give them some sort of sexual, sensual taunting.

A lady approached us, "Good afternoon ladies. My name is Cameron. How may I help you today?"

"We were looking for something a bit seductive, hopefully not too unveiling at first," Myrna said, "something we can take apart piece by piece."

The woman smiled, "We have exactly what you're looking for. Follow me."

I knew women wore certain seducing clothing, but I never knew they got it from a place such as this. I had never even seen it, but rumor has it is that it works.

She directed us to a section of the store and pulled out a piece of lingerie, "This is most likely what will suit your fancy. It stockings has a shawl," she removed the shawl and stockings, "and underneath it there is something of a corset's nature," she removed the corset, "and underneath that there is bra and sexy panties," she smiled, "and underneath that…well, you know what's there."

She put the corset and shawl back on the manikin, "Are you satisfied? Would you like to look around?"

"No, this would be fine," Myrna smiled. I observed the clothing, "I'm a 32B."

"And you, ma'am?" The lady asked me.

I turned, having no idea what to say to her.

Myrna jumped in, "Smallest size you can give her."

"Was there any specific color?" She asked.

"Not at all." Myrna said.

"Then I hope red and black are okay," The lady smiled, "Would you like to try them on first?"

"That'd be lovely." Myrna replied.

The lady handed us our pieces and gestured to a room in the back of the store, "Changing rooms are right down there."

I took the black and Myrna took the red. We went to the back and each took our changing room.

"This is ridiculous," I muttered to myself, "As much as I look like a girl we'd eventually have to have intercourse with them…"

Nevertheless I unclothed.

I got down to bare flesh and began to observe the lingerie, putting it on bit by bit, refusing to look in the mirror.

Finally, I was done, the shawl wrapped around my neck and dangling over my torso.

I turned to the mirror.

It was strange seeing myself that way. I had never seen myself as feminine but the moment I saw the way the way if fit on me all these thoughts came rushing into my head.

_My god…is this why Two-Bit loves me?_

Myrna knocked on the door, "May I see?"

I took a second before opening the door, ready to embarrass myself, "I look like a woman."

She observed me. She was just as embarrassed and humiliated as I was, but she was a woman, and thus she had to make sure I could pass as one.

She looked down at my groin, "Does it feel exposed?"

I looked away, "This is humiliating."

"Sweet."

She made me face her, "Sweet, I am well aware, but you said-"

"I know, I _know_!" I shot, "I would do anything for Trevor and Dallas, yes, but…this is…"

I looked at how the lingerie fit Myrna: her curves were obvious and her breasts her held high. Her rear was tight and her body was exposed.

I looked at my own lingerie: Hips I didn't know I had were in full view and my rear was tight and my body was exposed.

"Jesus," I mumbled, "I'm a woman."

She apparently heard that, "No, you are not."

"Yes I am."

"No you're not."

"Yes I am!"

"No," she slapped me, "you're not!"

There was so much pressure between the two of us at that moment as we stared at one another. It wasn't the fact that she slapped me. It was the simple fact that we both came to tune with our humiliation. We were friends, for god's sake, and nothing but. And now we're standing here in lingerie, exposed, embarrassed, all so we can have sex with men we barely even know.

She covered her body, "We both agreed to do this. It's embarrassing as hell and seems completely ridiculous, but this is what we have to do to get Trevor and Dallas out of this situation," she swallowed, "Are you in?"

I wanted to say "no". I wanted to back out and let her take all the heat…

But what kind of man am I to do that?

I nodded, "Of course, Myrna. I am."

She nodded back and headed to her changing room, me doing the same.

We exited the back, the lingerie in our arms as we waited for the lady, who was tending to another customer.

"Are men actually seduced by this kind of clothing?" It was an honest question I had to ask her.

She cocked an eyebrow, "You tell me."

I grinned. It felt good to smile once again.

The lady came to our attention, "That'll be thirty forty-five each."

I pulled out my wallet, but Myrna grabbed my hand before I could.

_Right. Women have wallets in purses._

I put the wallet back in my pocket, but still managed to hand her thirty dollars.

The woman accepted the money and handed us bags for our lingerie.

"Enjoy them," she smiled, "and enjoy yourselves."

Myrna took them and we headed out. I took both of the bags from her.

"Now what?" I asked.

She looked around, "Make up."

I felt like a teenage girl getting ready for a big date, when in reality I was a grown man getting ready to have sex posing as a woman.

Strange the way life works out.

She directed me to Macy's where there were dozens of places to get make up done immediately.

"Excuse me?" Myrna went up to one of the workers, "We would like to get makeovers."

The lady looked at me and seemed to do a double as if trying to figure out my gender. Nonetheless she smiled and said, "Why don't you two ladies sit down on these stools. I'll be back in a minute."

We took our seats and I put the bags under my stool, hiding them as best I could.

She came back with another worker, "My name is Charlotte and this is Sylvia."

Sylvia waved excitedly, "Hi."

"Well, who's ready for a makeover?" Charlotte asked pleasantly.

We smiled and she to ask questions, "What kind of look are we going for today?"

"Hm, gorgeous," Myrna listed, "beautiful, sexy, and possibly seductive."

Sylvia cocked an eyebrow, "Well, you two seem like you're ready for a fun night."

My stomach lurched at that, but I stayed in place.

"Can you draw on this diagram," she placed an outline of a person's face on the counter, "with colors what you want exactly?"

Myrna looked through the container of colors, trying to figure out what she wanted, and before I knew it _I _was drawing on the outline.

Elongated eyelashes possibly even doe eyes. Ruby red lipstick and the lightest bit of rogue anyone could ask for. Black eyeliner and very gentle eye shadow mine blue and Myrna's red.

Charlotte looked over it with a quick glance, looked up at us and smiled, "This can be arranged."

They got to work, almost immediately, and before I knew it I was rather enjoying myself. I found myself laughing and smiling with them as we talked. Myrna talked about how she can never find a good boyfriend and, since I was supposed to be a woman, I talked about a guy named Keith.

I obsessed over his every little perfect quality, which I never could do with anyone else before in my life. I talked about how hilarious he was, how adorable his sideburns and Elvis curl were, how obsessed he was with Mickey: the whole nine yards.

I began to realize how little of those qualities he had left. I mean, his sideburns and Elvis curl were still there, but his humor and obsession with Mickey had vanished. He was no longer daring and he was no longer lively.

In fact, he was dead.

Ever since the incident involving the van he had changed completely; we had lost touch, we had lost everything in common, and we had lost each other.

I wasn't going to let him spend the rest of our days together like that.

I made a decision…

They concluded the makeover and we approved.

"Well, you two have fun tonight," Charlotte smiled, "and Myrna, don't let go of that man. He sounds _perfect_."

"I'll try." She smiled, waving goodbye to them.

I began to walk in the other direction, Myrna catching up to me, "What're you doing?"

"I'm going to buy something," I said, "Why don't you take this time to look around and shop for yourself a little? You deserve it."

Myrna has her suspicion, but went along with it anyway and headed back into Macy's.

I arrived at the store I was looking for and spotted exactly what I wanted, wasting no time and brought it up to the cashier.

He admired it, "Nice choice ma'am."

I smiled and said femininely, "Thank you."

He bagged it, "That'll be two hundred fifty. Any particular reason you need it?"

"Well, a woman's always gotta look out for herself in times like this." I said, my experienced fingers sneakily pulling the money out my wallet, making it look like I pulled it from my pocket.

He received the money and preceded to give me change, "Well, no one should be giving you any trouble with this. You won't need to worry about any of 'em asshole guys with this baby."

He handed me my change and the bag and I smiled, "Thank you kind sir."

He smiled back, "No problem."

I began to head out, feeling more safe than I had ever felt before.

_No fights, Sweet. _I kept telling myself. _No fights._

Every time I thought about Jared anger rushes through my body, and as knowledge my anger always got the better of me.

Sex was my recent fight and goddamn it, no one was going to stop me from fighting those men to death.


	24. The Moment of Truth

We parked the car right in front of the apartment building so once the morning was over we could jump into that car to let Trevor and Dallas know that they had dropped the charges.

"This is really happening," I came to grips with it while we entered the building, "My god, it is."

Myrna looked straight ahead as I continued, "But what if they don't drop the charges? What if they simply take us for advantage and"-we made it to the door-"Trevor and Dally actually head to prison?"

She was looking down at the ground. I patted her shoulder, "Myrna, I know that-"

"You didn't make up Keith."

I removed my hand from her shoulder, "What?"

"When we talked to those women," she explained, "you didn't make up Keith."

I didn't want her to know, "Well, in fact I didn't. He's a real man and he's-"

"Nicknamed Two-Bit," she looked up, "Isn't he?"

She had had me, "He was just so perfectly detailed that it's impossible for him to not be someone you don't romantically care for.

"Sweet, I'm not trying to judge you. In fact I really could care less what your sexual orientation is. You're a good man and that's all that matters.

"However, I have just come to realize what this act we're doing for Dally and Trevor will do to you; on the one hand you have your romantic interest back at home, and secondly men that are attracted to men are usually labeled as feminine…and by wearing all this make up, posing as a woman and such must make you feel even worse about your sexual feelings.

"Sweet, I never intended to make your life more difficult…and if I've made it too difficult and confusing I give you the right to walk away right now, right here and I will do the dirty deed on my own."

She sighed, "Now please look me in the eye and tell me I didn't just make all that up."

Myrna was sincere in what she had said, and I did believe that she really didn't care about my sexual orientation, the people I loved and what I did when I was alone.

She was a good friend.

"Myrna, I'm sorry," I said. She seemed confused, "I was so afraid that people would judge me because of who I am, but…little did I realize what good friends I had.

"Myrna, yes, you are right. I didn't make Keith up and his nickname _is_ Two-Bit. And yes, I love him."

The gang and people like Iris may've been there to support me and Two-Bit on our romantic decisions, but Myrna seemed to truthfully not care whatsoever. It never crossed her mind that I was gay or straight or whatever.

I was simply her friend.

She grinned lightly, "I meant what I said about you leaving now if-"

"Not even if Hell freezes over," I said firmly, "There is no way you are walking in there alone. Besides, I'm a grown man. Men most in touch with their masculinity aren't afraid of a challenge, doing the right…and wearing make up and women's lingerie. "

She looked at me for a minute, and then smiled and we pulled each other into a hug.

She was my friend. She was there for me and I was there for her.

We separated as Jared opened the door; both of us ready to go through this together.


	25. Promise Kept

Once he spotted us he licked his lips, "Damn, girls, you fix up good."

"We have more surprises in this bag," Myrna picked up the bags and showed him, "Just let us slip into them and then we'll move on from there."

Jared looked over at me, "You don't like talking, do you?"

I didn't want to address him. If I could I'd be silent the whole night.

He cocked an eyebrow and smiled, "Well, you'll be using it a lot this evening."

We came inside, Myrna asking, "Where's a place where we can change into these?"

"Why can't you just change here?" Jared flopped on the couch, his smile wide and cocky.

"You only asked for one thing, Jared," Myrna said bluntly, "A peep show is not in order. Besides, we want to give your friends the same amount of fun."

He was disappointed, but pointed to the bedroom, "Just change in there and stay until I open the door."

We made our way in the room, closing it as fast as we could once we arrived.

"We might as well get ready." Myrna said uncomfortably, handing me my lingerie.

"I'll take this side of the room," I went behind the bed, "and you take that."

She nodded and took her side of the room, me taking mine.

We unclothed, my main focus the wall in front of me and thinking of every which way I could to get out of this situation fast and with no mess.

I remembered what I had bought earlier and why…

We were fully dressed in our lingerie and Myrna had handed me a scrunchy for my hair.

"It may only go passed your shoulders," she wrapped the shawl around her body, "but it'll make you look more like a girl."

I put my hair up with it as we both stood in front of the mirror.

"Wow," Myrna said calmly, "This is real, huh?"

"Yeah," I sighed, "It is."

We heard the door open in the front of the apartment and lots of men's voices.

_My god, how many are there?_

Myrna sat on the bed and soaked in what was happening, me digging through the bags in desperation to find what I had bought.

Once it was in my hands I felt less disgusted by the situation we were in.

"Sweet!" she gasped, "What are you-"

"This is needed, Myrna," I explained, "Just in case. Besides, I wasn't gonna let that money Ms. Mathews gave me go to waste."

"And if they-" we heard loud laughter from outside the room thus she lowered her voice, "if they find out we're _dead_."

"We're dead anyway once they find out I'm a man." I shot at her, my voice still low.

She was still not so sure about it, but laid down on the bed, digging her head into the pillow. I stuffed slipped it into my stocking and wrapped my shawl around my waist so it would be covered.

There was another loud bit of laughter as we sat anxiously waiting for Jared to give us the queue to become seductive once again.

"Remember, piece by piece we remove the clothing," Myrna said after a long time period of silence between us, "Understood?"

"I don't want to have sex with these hogs as much as you do," I said, "I'll drag this on all night if I have to."

I adjusted my shawl over my legs and ran my fingers through my hair, loud rock music echoing off the walls of the apartment. But in all the noise, I heard a light sniffle to my left.

"M…Myrna?" I put my hand on her shoulder, "Myrna, are you crying?"

She dug her face into my chest, "My god, who I am to think that we could pull this off? You're a man for god's sake and who am I to be selling my body like this? My god, I am an idiot!"

There was a pause outside the room and I feared they heard us, but then another roar of laughter and they carried on.

I rubbed her back, "Myrna, I know this is not ideal, but we've made it this far and who's to stop us now? We've been brave enough to make it here. Besides, who else is gonna stand up for Trevor and Dallas? And unfortunately," I held her closer, "There's no backing out…backing out…"

She looked up at me, "Sweet?"

I didn't want to let go of her, but I was surprised at what I saw, "That what I think it is?"

She separated from my chest and made it over to the bedside table, opening the drawer wider. She took a small taste and her eyes widened.

"That's cocaine!" She yell-whispered.

"I knew it." I went over next to her.

"Well, what do we do?" her voice lowered, "Should we call the police?"

"No, this isn't enough," I needed a plan, "Besides, they could open this door at any minute…"

As I stood up from crouching down my fingers brushed against the object stuffed in my stocking.

Myrna looked at me, "What?"

I looked over at the telephone, "Maybe there is a way out…"

The door swung open, Jared sloppily laughing, a beer can in his hand.

"Yo ladies!" he drunkenly hollered, "Why don't ya come out here and show us a good time?"

We looked at one another, but I nodded, Myrna standing and walking out the bedroom, me following and all the men hooting and hollering at us.

"And then there's the boobless one," Jared laughed, "Go ahead and take your pick!"

There were four of them including Jared. They were all frat -boy-looking men with the most vulgar smiles and appetites. And, as most frat boy men are, they were ready for sex.

One of them stood and looked at Myrna, a quizzical look on his face.

"Why they here?" he asked, "Who are they? I have a policy: No sex with pros."

"They're the women that wanna report us for 'assaulting and framing those faggots'," Jared explained, kissing me messily on the cheek, "I figured we'd get the best use out of them that we can!"

"Well, you thought right!" Another stood and grabbed Myrna by the waist, thrusting his lips onto hers.

"So, they're ours for the whole night, right?" The one with a backwards baseball cap rose, his hand rubbing his groin.

"All ours." Jared smiled, slapping my rear.

The baseball cap one, snatched Myrna from the first, kissing her himself as the quizzical man came up behind her and touched her breasts.

It seemed as if they were going to be tame the entire night, maybe a few rough patches here and there, but it was going to be tame. Then, however, I realized something.

We were _theirs_ for the _entire night._

_"I figured we'd get the best use out of them that we can!"_

_"So, they're ours for the whole night, right?"_

They weren't going to let us take the clothing off piece by piece. They weren't going to let us even take it off ourselves.

They were beasts that were thrown meat.

And they hadn't eaten in days.

They threw Myrna down on the couch, one of them ripping off her shawl and panties, smiling as he thrust his tongue back down her throat, the other two doing actions I couldn't bare to even imagine.

I shut my eyes and as I did a pair of hands came and touched my flat chest, his lips on my neck.

"Do you like it nice and gentle," he slithered, "or mean and rough?"

All I could think about was Steve.

All that anger and confusion I had had before would've been easily taken out before. I would've loved this crowd a month ago. I'd be ripping off their clothes a month ago. I'd be scratching and biting them a month ago…

But that was a month ago.

This was now.

He pushed his lips onto mine.

_Once we separated the kiss he bit my bottom lip…_

His hands lowered to my stomach as he bit my shoulder.

_He roughly pushed me onto the couch and got atop me, biting my shoulder as my nails impaled his back…_

He separated from my lips and observed my neck, "You done this kinda thing before, babe?"

_One time he got so into it that he began to choke me…_

I panted, "Yea…"

…_and the only way I could get him to stop was by biting his penis._

His hands were at my waist, my fingers brushing against my weapon.

"However," I grasped onto it, "I'm into the crazier shit."

_He stopped immediately, me smiling at my opportunity._

I pulled out the gun.

_I got him on his hands and knees and wrapped my belt around his neck and pulled._

I put him in front of my body, the gun to his head and me screaming.

_Jesus Christ. I remember thinking: I don't blame him for choking me._

The whole room went silent, Myrna naked, the three men that were with her freezing in the position of whatever disgusting sexual act they were doing.

I stopped screaming and simply held the gun to his head, my eyes crazed and my breath short.

"Get off her and get her dressed," I said, my woman voice gone. They froze, "Do it!"

They all stepped away from her and one of them tossed her one of their T-shirts, another handing her pants.

"Myrna," I said as calm as I could after she was dressed. She looked up at me, "Leave."

She was confused then shook her head "no".

"Myrna," I said more sternly, "Leave."

She stood her ground, her arms crossed and eyebrow cocked.

"Go," I didn't want things to get messy, "Leave," I held the gun closer to his head, "Now!"

My yell shook the walls of the apartment but Myrna remained still, refusing to budge.

I gave up, "Then come over here and stay by my side."

She did such, my gun still to the man's head.

"Who's not drunk here?" I asked, my voice still firm, "I'm serious! Who's sober?"

The quizzical man raised his hand; me walking with my victim and pushing the sober one to the phone in the bedroom, making the others follow, still in my sight.

"You," I said to the sober one, "Call the police and confess."

He cocked an eyebrow, "To w-"

"To framing and beating Trevor Malone and Dallas Winston!" I angrily said, the gun possibly making an indent in my victim's head, "Now!"

He looked timidly at Jared and company, but they were way too drunk to particularly care. He dialed 911.

"Um, yeah…" he tried to procrastinate, but I held the gun closer to his friend's head, "My name is Carter Ale and I'd like to report a crime," Pause, "Me and my friends beat and framed to men in jail. The men are…uh…"

"Trevor Malone and Dallas Winston." I said sharply.

"Trevor Malone and Dallas Winston," he said, "We stuffed cocaine in the trunk of their car and…we did that because we thought they were gay. Then…then we beat them and made it look like they had assaulted us first…Yes, I am confessing…we're at 532 Commercial Ave, Apartment 103. Yes…Yes, I will stay on the line."

As he held the phone to his ear I smiled, knowing I had them. I got them to confess on the phone to a witness that could testify to what she/he had heard. I had saved Trevor and Dally.

I heard a rustle behind me and turned, the baseball cap guy's hand rubbing Myrna's butt.

"Hey, what the hell are y-" I began, but from that moment of weakness Carter charged at me, pushing me to the ground. The gun fired but my victim was still alive, for he helped hold me down.

They were on top of my chest, me struggling to breathe as Jared and another tried to prevent Myrna from getting to the phone. I attempted to scream, but nothing worked.

I tried to find out what my hands could grab, whether it was flesh or not I needed to see if I could harm them.

"We need to get the hell out of here!" One of them yelled.

"Take my car!" Carter made sure my victim held me down, but as he stood one of them picked up the gun and pointed it at him.

"Not so fast, Carter," he said, Myrna and one of the other men still struggling, "You confessed to the police."

"That's 'cause she, or, uh, he held a gun to Rick's head!" Carter defended, "Would you disobey a freak holding a gun to your friend's head?"

"If it meant not going to prison?" he said, the sound of a gun click, "I don't think so."

The trigger was pulled and the police ran in, my breath almost running out at that point and Myrna screaming as she was thrown on the bed.

"Police, put your weapon down!" one of them screamed, "You on the bed, let go of the lady! You get off the girl! Put your weapon down! Hands up!"

He got off me and an officer lifted me up, "Are you all right, Miss?" I nodded, "All right, let's get you some clothes."

He brought a jacket for me to cover myself with, Myrna getting checked out for bruises by one of the paramedics. Jared and company were arrested immediately, Carter on the ground motionless.

They brought us out to their van outside, Myrna and me shuttering with slight fear.

_I held a gun to a man's head._ I couldn't believe it. _My god you actually did it._

They sat us down and we remained there, watching as Carter's body bag was rolled down the steps.

As I continued processing the events of the evening through my mind a light kiss came to my cheek, and I feared one of the men had made his way to me, but it was simply Myrna, smiling at me.

"What was that for?" I asked.

She continued to smile, "For saving Trevor and Dallas," her smile became a grin, "and me."

I didn't know what to say, but she was right. I got him to confess, I got Myrna saved from an unfortunate sexual encounter, and basically I had kept my promise.

I hugged her, her head on my chest as she smiled into it. I kissed her cheek, "I love you, Myrna."

She closed her eyes, "I love you too, Sweet."

And as Jared glared at me angrily from the back of the police car I smiled, with knowledge that sometimes a lie _and_ a fight can actually do one some good.


	26. Innocent Until Proven Guilty

All the police really did was ask us a couple questions of why we were there, what happened, and I wasn't honesty with all of them.

"So, you posed as a woman?" The detective cocked his eyebrow.

"It's not like I'm a homosexual, detective," I explained, "They already presumed I was because of my…I guess, feminine nature, but yes, I posed as a woman. Besides, I'd do anything for my friends. Wouldn't you?"

"What about the gun? You bought it," he said, "We have the receipt in your wallet."

"I already confessed to owning it," I told him, "They were harming my friend. I couldn't let them get away with it."

"But didn't you already agree to having sex with these men?" He asked.

"Do you call being pinned to the couch, screaming and begging for them to stop having sex?" I asked sternly, "We agreed to have a sexual evening with them, not be abused as we were. She has the bruises to prove it."

I criticized my own actions in that statement. I didn't even know myself it I thought abusive sex was sex, but I needed to get Myrna and me out of there. We couldn't have Trevor and Dally try to find a way to get _us_ out of there.

Our stories cleared and we were to the courthouse a month later to testify about how we figured out it was Jared and company that had framed and beaten Trevor and Dallas.

Once they were released Trevor pulled me into a hug, but quickly separated, remembering why he had been beaten in the first place. He turned to Myrna and she made an angered face, Trevor slightly cowering. She then smiled widely and brought him into a tight hug, Trevor smiling into her shoulder as he hugged back.

Dally avoided eye contact me and lit a cigarette, muttering after a while, "Thanks, man."

I smiled at him, his gaze at the ground, "Any time."

We hopped on the plane back to Maryland, and then the bus to Barton, Dallas wishing to remain solo but Myrna insisting he not be alone.

Once we made it to town Iris, Darry, and Pony, the twins in their strollers, surprisingly greeted us.

"My god," Darry smiled, "You guys really did it."

I introduced Myrna and Trevor to all of them, Dallas trying to avoid the crowd of smiles and pleasant greetings. However, I refused to let him walk off.

I grabbed him by the back of his shirt once we the rest of them began to walk to the cars, demanding he explain his awkwardness.

"Is it the fact that I posed as a woman?" I asked, trying not to sound angered, "Is it the fact that you got Trevor in trouble? What is it Dallas? What? W-"

"You're a faggot, man!" He shot.

There was a tense pause before he proceeded, "If it weren't for you this fucked up aspect of human life wouldn't have come into play in _mine_. I would still be up in New York with Jared if you hadn't let Trevor come up and if you hadn't turned Two-Bit into whatever the hell he is! Jesus Christ, why did you have to show up?"

He stared at me and I stared back, remembering the first time we had had a conversation like this.

_"And Johnny died 'cause of you!" he went on, "And so did Soda! It was all your fault! Sandy left, my gal left, and Terry became pregnant with most likely your kid! Everything's that ever happened to us is your fault, you little shit!"_

Unlike before I didn't cry, and unlike before his arguments were actually reasonable, but I stood my ground and kept my chin up, my lip from trembling, and my gaze strong.

"Now you listen here, Dallas Winston," I said securely, "Yes I agreed for Trevor to go up to New York with you but the fact that _your_ friends assaulted the two of you is not my fault. Two-Bit falling in love with me and me falling in love with Two-Bit is just something that happens in this world, and it woulda shown up whether you liked it or not.

"I had to shoe up because fate intended it. I don't know why, but it did. I've helped a lot of you out o' messes, and created some myself, but I ain't gone and blamed someone else for whatever's happened to me.

"Dallas, you have a problem," I continued, "You like blaming people for your problems and it's basically your way of trying to find reason, I understand, but you need to learn how to find reason some other way, 'cause blaming the man who just saved your ass from going to jail ain't it," I began to walk passed him, "They're waiting for us in the car."

I was right. He had to find another way to deal with his life and everything he had been through. For the passed five-six years about he'd been trying to figure out how life was to go on without someone to protect from the Hell he had been through, and accusing me of causing everything wasn't the way to go.

I made it into the car with Iris, Darry and their kids, Myrna driving Trevor herself.

"Dallas coming?" Darry asked from the front seat.

He didn't look like he was the way he stood there, staring at the ground with his cigarette dangling out his mouth, but I knew he was. I knew he would stand up straight, accept that I was right and make his way relentlessly to the car.

And surely enough, after another ten seconds, he did exactly that.


	27. Keith not Two-Bit

A week went by faster than I could even recollect. Everything was on its tip-top form, or at least the best it could be. Myrna was getting better after being assaulted, Trevor was also settling, Darry was getting used to the wheelchair, and Two-Bit seemed to be improving.

He was still on edge, Two-Bit was. I didn't know how to get him to talk. Ms. Mathews and I tried every which was but nothing worked. He'd never open up.

"Should we get him to a therapist?" I asked her one evening after she dropped him off back home.

"Two-Bit Mathews going to a therapist?" she cocked her eyebrow, "I have no idea how we'd ever get that to happen."

We were at a loss. The only real improvement was that he could didn't flinch as much when his mother touched him.

Me, however, I had no idea of what to do.

But we needed to be a couple again, thus this could not go on any longer.

It was Friday evening and I was ready to be there for him.

"He already ate," Ms. Mathews said, "and we had a decent conversation today."

"About what?" I left the front door ajar.

"Just about socks," she shrugged, "I didn't want to force him to open up."

I nodded. She patted my shoulder, "Time, Sweet. I know it's painful, but time is it. That's all you can give him."

I sighed, holding back tears, "But I've given him enough."

She didn't know how to respond to this; she stood there, biting her bottom lip. Removing her hand from my shoulder she sighed, turning and walking back to her car.

_Talk to me, Two-Bit_ I said in my head. _I'll make you if I have to._

I shut the door, Two-Bit standing, "I'm going to bed-"

"Sit down." I said.

He was hesitant, "W-"

"Sit down, Two-Bit." I said once more. I was tired of waiting. I needed to get him back. I needed him to be my boyfriend again.

I needed to know what happened to him.

He took his seat on the couch and I took mine. As impatient as I was I was still aware to keep my distance from him, sitting on the other end of the couch.

There was a pause, but I needed to speak.

"Two-Bit, what's happening to you?"

He looked down at the ground.

"Talk to me."

He continued to look down.

I became irritated, "Is this because of the fact that I had an affair? I'm sorry, okay? I've said sorry more times than I can even count! Is it because I asked you to go out and you blame me for what happened? I'm sorry! Is this because of anything _I_ have done? Tell me, goddamn it! Tell me!"

He just stared at the floor. It was hard to tell if he was crying.

I ran my fingers through my hair. _Calm down, Sweet. Go a bit easier on him._

I took a moment before I put my hands on my lap, calming down a little bit.

"Look," I lightly said, "Two-Bit, I just hate seeing you like this. I hate watching you fall apart knowing that there's nothing I can do. So, please…just tell me what I can do."

He wouldn't look up from the floor.

I needed to get a reaction out of him.

I grabbed his hands, "Two-Bit just-"

It came so fast that I questioned if his hand had even made contact with my cheek. After feeling how warm it was on the left side of my face and the stinging tears coming from my eyes.

"No!" I heard him scream, "No, please don't! No!"

I looked back at him to see his head buried in his knees, his sobs louder than I've ever heard.

"Two-Bit." My mouth was agape and my face was stinging.

He continued to sob, "No! Please don't! No!"

I didn't know what to do, "T-"

"Please no!"

"Two-"

"No!"

"Keith!"

He shot a look up at me and I realized something:

_He responded to Keith._

_Whatever these men did it got rid of Two-Bit._

_What did they do to him?_

I wiped my eyes, "Keith what…what happened? What did they do?"

He gasped through his tears now, somewhat resisting the urge to cry. His resistance, though, was not working very well.

He put his hands over his face and sat up a little, still sniffling, "You really wanna know?"

I didn't nod, but he knew I did.

He sniffled, inhaling before proceeding, "Sweet, I'm sorry. I'm really, _really_ sorry. People are bad, people are mean, but some people are just downright evil…and I think I met some of those people."

There was a pause before he continued, me intently listening, "The…the men that hurt us that night…they came in a van and they…um…" he took a breath, "I screamed for you and they…they laughed and said that I had other…other things to worry about.

"They got me in the van and…and one of them began to drive. There were four total that I recall. And…they whipped out these cigarettes and…and they…and…"

He bit his bottom lip, soon pulling up his sleeve to reveal a heinous sight.

"Oh my god…" I put my hand over my mouth.

"They burned me," he said, covering the wounds back up, "and after that…Sweet I…I haven't touched you and I hate being touched…be…because they…I…they…"

I couldn't hear this. I wasn't hearing this. I knew what he was going to say, but I didn't stop him from speaking.

He began to cry once again, "Sweet, they forced…they forced me! I didn't…they didn't…I don't-I-I'm sorry!"

He put his head back in between his knees. My hand remained over my mouth as I watched, my own eyes becoming misty.

He sat back up, "All night…bruises on my legs…my neck…" he looked back down at the ground, his hand around his throat as he choked his tears down, "and in a strange sense…I think this is…I think it's karma.

"You're not the unfaithful one…I am…

"You know that woman Stacy I…I told you works with me at the b-bar?" he asked. I nodded, "Well…before I went up to New…New York I met up with her and…Sweet, I couldn't…she was so…" he raised his voice, "She never said no!"

The tears that were caught in my eyes came down my cheeks now, my whimpers silent as I listened.

"I have never been with a woman and I wanted her! Don't…don't take this wrong. She wasn't forced like…like I …"

He bit down on his knuckles tears pouring down his face. I didn't know what to say and I didn't know how to respond, but I simply watched, soaking it all in.

He gasped a little before speaking, "And the…the thing that I am most disturbed about is…it's not that she-she's engaged, it's not that she works with me, it's…she…" he broke down, "she reminds me of Marcia."

He dug his head into his knees and sobbed the same sob he did before.

I was speechless. It's not that him sleeping with another woman was hurtful; it was just everything. He had gone through the same experience I had gone through and one that was more traumatic.

His love for me got him raped.

My love for him got Darry assaulted.

But as I wrapped my arms around his trembling body I remembered my vow to always know where he was, but not in an obsessive sense. Just to make sure he's okay and safe. Just to know I could protect him.

This is what love goes through. This is what love _is_.

And nothing would stop me from protecting, fighting for, and loving him.


	28. Giving Thanks

"That's what he told you?" Ms. Mathews sipped her tea, taking it in the way I did.

"Yeah," I sighed, blowing on my chocolate, "I didn't mean to sort of force it out of him. I was just so desperate."

"No, I understand, Sweet," she placed her mug back on the table, "I understand completely. I actually started considering therapy once I left your house that night. Why'd it take you so long to tell me?"

I sipped my chocolate, "I didn't know what to say. I wasn't even sure if it had happened at all. But after two days I realized it's what happened and I felt you should know."

She nodded, her fingers tapping the mug, "And where is he now?"

"In the bedroom," I gestured, "He hasn't really left since we spoke."

Taking another sip of her chamomile she sighed, leaning back in her chair, her face changed. Not physically, but more emotionally. It was subtle, but she realized something.

Her son, her own son, had been a victim. Her son had been the victim of a hate crime. Her son had been beaten. Her son had been raped.

Her son had been changed.

She closed her eyes and turned her head to the left of on the chair, now her expression more clear that she was coming to turns with the ungodly truth.

A tear came down her cheek as she motionlessly sat there, inside screaming and begging that it wasn't true.

I stood and took her hand. She looked slowly up at me, my gaze just as sullen as hers.

"You mentioned that you had to leave by ten thirty," I quietly said, "It's ten twenty five."

She nodded and stood, my hand still on hers, "Ms. Mathews-"

"Oh, Sweet," she trembled out. She straightened her voice out, "It's not your fault. Some people are just bad people."

There was a pause before she exhaled, "May I say goodbye to him?"

"I don't think he knows you're here." I said.

"Oh, he knows," she grinned, "That's one aspect of my son that'll never change."

I grinned back, gesturing to the bedroom. She proceeded in, me picking up her mug and mine and putting them in the kitchen. As I placed them down though I remembered the way we got to talking about my name and what he had to do to earn it.

If I hadn't been so guilty of what I had done with Steve Two-Bit might be the same. If I hadn't slept with Steve than this would've never happened.

Then again, could another Hell have erupted? Two-Bit did sleep with that woman and those men found out _some_how.

I took a moment to stare at the ground, realizing that there was no real way of getting out of this situation unless we hadn't of done anything to discover or experiment with ourselves.

Ms. Mathews came back in, snapping me out of my thinking phase.

"I have to go tell the hotel that I'll be staying longer," she put her purse over her shoulder, "You'll be fine, right?"

I nodded, "You sure you just don't want to stay here? I could give you some money so you can-"

She chuckled, "No, Sweet. Besides, I could never stay here. I stayed with my son for over twenty years, I think he'd like it if we didn't for at least another fifty."

I smiled, "Well, if you ever need anything don't hesitate to call, all right?"

She smiled back, "Ditto."

I walked her to her car, discussing shortly about the hells of living with Two-Bit, a laugh or two, and then she drove off, leaving me staring at the leaves flying from underneath her car.

I walked back to the house, my hands in my pockets as I accepted what I had come to realize: the lies were beneficial for us. We needed them and we needed to go through them.

Sighing I started doing the dishes.

_He propped himself on the counter behind me. I could hear him swinging his legs back and forth, and at one point his playfully kicked my butt, yelling, "honk!" as he did._

I smiled as the water ran through my fingers, remembering the night that we had before his trip to the hospital.

_As I washed the dishes he proceeded to say, "Ya know, Sweet…I've known your nickname for all these years…but I ain't never known your real name."_

_I stopped washing dishes. He was right. It had been a long time._

It was weird to think about my birth name.

_Turning to him I put my foot on the counter across from me, right in between his legs, saying seductively, "Ya gotta earn it…"_

What was I thinking?

_He cocked an eyebrow and smiled. Kicking away my foot he hopped off the counter, pushed me lightly against the sink._

"No." I muttered.

_"That can be arranged…"_

_His tongue made it into my mouth_

Sweet, why did you do that?

_Pretty soon, though, he began kissing me right under my jawline, his hand around my waist and his breath warm on my skin. I panted from the familiar feel…_

You knew it wouldn't go well. You know your guilt. You knew and you tried to make everything normal with the one thing you knew for that month: Sex.

I stopped doing dishes, my hands dug into the water as I contemplated a way, any way to get rid of my guilt. The closure with Steve helped some, but I still felt untrue. I felt like I had done all the horrid things that have happened myself the way Dallas thought I did too.

Then I thought of something.

I wiped my prune-like fingers and dialed the number by heart, bringing the phone up to my ear, the other line responding sooner than expected.

"Would you mind?" I asked, the conversation already a pleasant one.

"Not at all," he replied, "Be there in a bit."

I hung up the phone. I ran to the kitchen and pulled out a chocolate cookie, stuffing it in my mouth as I waited patiently for my guests.

Once they arrived I was delighted, welcoming them inside as fast as I could.

I went into the bedroom, "Two-Bit, we have someone that wants to see you."

I stepped out the way, but I could still see Two-Bit's eyes slightly widen when he saw our guest.

"Hey, lazy bum," Darry smiled, "How you doing?"

He rolled over to him in his wheelchair, Iris standing in the doorway waving to him. Two-Bit looked over at me, seemingly mortified, but once Darry made it by him he made a light grin, me taking that as a sign that this was working.

I walked out the room, a smile implanted on my face.

_I just need him to come back to being himself._ I said. _My guilt will go and he'll be better. No harm. Besides, Darry and him barely talk anyways._

Iris came over to me, "Thank you so much for getting Darry over here, Sweet. I think it's a good idea for them to get to talking once more."

I shrugged, "I also need Two-Bit to turn back around. To you have any idea how quiet it gets around here? It's spooky."

She smiled, "Well, thank you and I hope it all works out."

There was practically silence in that room. I never stepped foot in it, nor did Iris. I don't know what in the world told me to get him and Darry together. I guess it's the fact that they both got attacked for fighting for what they believed. Maybe it's because I just needed to have him talk to someone other than his family.

Iris and I talked in the living room, and for the first time in what seemed like an eternity, I heard Two-Bit's laugh.

I stopped talking and just stared at Iris, Iris smiling back at me.

"As I said," she said, "thank you."

The laugh came back every so often and it brightened the house, the room, and possibly my entire world. The idea that he was happy for even five seconds made me happier. Besides, I made a vow that I shall be sticking with until the very day I die.

Iris and I had a few chuckles ourselves, an unexpected knock at the door interrupting our conversation.

"Are you expecting someone?" She asked.

I headed to the door, "Unless it's Ms. Mathews I don't know who would come over," I got to the door, "Who is it?"

"Pony," he weakly said, "May I come in?"

I wasn't hesitant to open it, "Hey, man," pause, "What's up?"

He spotted Iris and became slightly shy, "Darry here?"

"Uh, yeah. He's in the bedroom talking to Two-Bit," I didn't understand why he was so anxious, "Pony, you-"

"Can we talk outside?" He said, Iris taking a step into the kitchen.

Concerned I did as he requested, the door still slightly open.

"So, what's-"

"When I left Darry's house," he began, "I went to get tested."

I was surprised, but he continued, "I'm negative."

I sighed in relief, "Pony-"

"But I called Cherry," he swallowed, looking down at his hands, "…and she told me everything..." he couldn't seem to believe it, "How she had taken on a boyfriend after I came up here. How she had…how she had sex with him but she still loved me," he but his bottom lip, "or how she claimed to love me."

I didn't know how to respond. On the one hand I was relieved that he was told the truth, but it was so hard to see him this distraught, "Why'd you come to me?"

He looked back up, "Because to me you've always been a neutral party, Sweet. I know it's mean of me to say, but…I just feel that you're one side of my life that I can count on to be honest and understanding more than others. I mean, you…" he took a breath, "you kinda remind me of Soda."

He dug in his pocket for something, "You know when I was fourteen I asked him what it was like to be in love. He said, that most times it was real nice," he pulled out the cigarette, "Change most to some and that defines my life."

He pulled out a lighter, "'Sides I could never tell Darry. I don't wanna have to hear about how he was right from the start."

Lighting the cigarette he leaned his head back, seemingly relieved to have one, "I loved her, you know?" he exhaled the smoke looking back at me, "I even imagined us having kids and a family the way Iris and Darry have it," he glared at me for a moment, "Even you can make it work in a relationship that people have tried to kill you over, Sweet. You and Two-Bit have it better than me."

Taking a moment to realize what he just said he stuck the cigarette back in his mouth. I understood what he meant, though, and I wasn't offended by it. I understood the confusion and slight hatred of himself he must've been feeling. I got that.

I shrugged, "What are you gonna do now?"

He stared exhaled once more, "Finish school I guess," he rubbed his nose, "I haven't gone in a while."

He tossed it to the ground and crushed it with his foot, "Thanks, Sweet."

"For what?" I asked.

He swallowed, "For listening."

I nodded, "Any time."

A grin crossed his face for a minute and then disappeared. It took me a moment to realize it had actually ever been there.

He continued, "I still have time to get to the campus before it gets too dark," he looked over at his car and then back at me, "How's Two-Bit?"

I heard another laugh through the ajar, smiled and said, "Much better now."

He nodded and left, waving goodbye as he hopped in his car.

I came back inside, Iris startling me, "Everything okay?"

I smiled, "Yeah. He's heading back to school now."

She took a sip of water, "I helped myself to some I hope you don't mind."

"Oh no!" I cried, "You went into our secret stash! How could you?"

She chuckled, me waving my hand in an I-don't-care motion, "It's fine, Iris. Plenty to go around."

She looked down at her watch, "Oh, the babysitter has to leave pretty soon," she looked back up at me, "I have to steal Darry back, I'm sorry."

I pretended to be offended, "First you steal my water and now you're leaving? Thief!"

She smiled once again, heading to the bedroom to take her husband back home. And, to my surprise, Two-Bit came out walking with Darry.

"I'll call you about that, Two-Bit," Darry said, me opening the door for him, "By the way, thanks a million for this, Sweet. I really enjoyed myself."

"I'm glad." I smiled, Iris and Darry waving, Two-Bit waving back.

I shut the door and, to my _biggest_ surprise, Two-Bit was still smiling.

He looked at me, but it wasn't the kind of look he'd been giving me recently. It was a look of pure and utter happiness. Pure satisfaction and pure joy that I had not seen in what seemed like centuries.

And pretty soon through that smile he said two words I had been hearing all that day, but were at their sweetest and most needed from him.

"Thank you." He said his eyes slightly wetted.

I smiled, "You're welcome."

With slight hesitation he made his way over to me, his hand lightly touching my cheek. His lips pressed against mine, the feel so familiar and so correct; the feel resurrecting a feeling of excitement and joy that I hadn't felt in so long.

But in real life, he just continued to smile.

Which was good enough for me.


	29. Change

Everything seemed to be back in order.

Pony was back at school, Two-Bit was talking again, and Myrna, Trevor, and me were back at the bakery.

Dally decided to go to New York State and figure everything else out there. He didn't exactly say goodbye. He more so just took a plane up there with no idea what would happen next.

That's Dallas Winston for you.

Two-Bit's boss decided to let him continue work without going to Bartender School. He was good enough at mixing that he didn't have to go to some school to learn about it.

He was still edgy, though. If he saw a van he'd twitch, and every so often he'd just need some time alone. We wouldn't let him go outside alone, and same for me. We especially couldn't be outside without anyone else together.

He was a bit more of himself during that month. He smiled more and seemed to be a bit livelier. The best part was that he actually talked to people. Touching was out of the question, but he was on the path of going from Keith to Two-Bit.

In most of my spare time, because of this, I would try to contact people about a home in another place. Any other town would be helpful.

I didn't want to spend the rest of my life in fear.

The bakery was still in booming business. Myrna, however, was seemingly more and more self-conscious and Trevor was a bit tenser when it came to dealing with the register.

Everyone was affected by the past few months, no matter who they were. If you knew us you were affected by everything that has happened.

"If you ever wanna talk," I found myself saying that to several people, "Just tell me, kay?"

"Yeah, Sweet," Trevor said while kneading dough, "Thanks."

I nodded and headed to the front of the bakery, turning the "closed" sign into an "open".

"Where's Myrna?" I went back behind the counter, "She should be here by now."

"Probably fixing herself up after another date," he said, "You know I think they went out again last night."

"Trevor, yesterday was Sunday," I put on my hairnet, "How do you know where Myrna was?"

"I can sense it." He said dramatically, continuing to knead the dough.

We conversed as we continued to set up the bakery. Muffins were reheated, cakes were made, spoons were used for tasting, etc. It was always pleasant to bake in the morning. Always has and always will.

The only thing that concerned me was Myrna and where she was. I mean she had gone through a slightly traumatic experience selling her body like that. Perhaps she got herself caught up in something on her way there.

Whatever it was it was taking too long.

The clock struck nine and I grabbed my keys ready to go look for Myrna.

"Where do you suppose she is?" Trevor asked, trying to join me.

"I don't know but you are staying here and manning the bakery, understood?" I said, "I should be back in a-"

The bell on the door chimed and we both looked over simultaneously, Myrna stepping in.

She looked as if she had been crying, her hair messy and her clothes less organized and planned out than usual.

I cocked my eyebrow, "Myrna?"

She grinned a very timid grin, "Hi all."

Trevor came up from behind me, "You all right?"

She wiped her eyes and made her grin a smile, "Yeah…"

I knew there was more, "But?"

She took a moment and pulled something out her pocket. She walked over to us, holding it behind her back.

"You remember my sick uncle, right?" she made her way behind the counter.

Trevor and I nodded and she continued, "Well, he's officially passed as of yesterday afternoon."

I sighed, "Oh, Myrna, I'm sorry."

She nodded, "And you know that's the only reason Kent kept dating me. He was just waiting for me to fall deep enough in love with him that he gets put into the will or share some the inheritance with him."

In utter shock I placed my hand on her back, "Myrna, I-"

"Well, that bastard can schmooze al he wants!" she smiled broadly, "'Cause I loved my Uncle Clarence, but he was one rich, sick man!"

She began jumping up and screaming, waving the check in the air rapidly. I was completely speechless and so was Trevor as she cheered and danced in circles.

"How much?" Trevor tried to snatch at the check but Myrna immediately brought it back to her chest, keeping it from him.

"Uncle Clarence left me, are you ready?" she smiled, curling her lip into her mouth, "Okay, Uncle Clarence left me…a million five hundred thousand dollars!"

I cried out loud suddenly, quickly covering my mouth.

"Are…are you serious?" I stammered out after uncovering my mouth.

"He made Hershey Bars," she wiped her eyes once again, "and apparently was very good at it. He was like a ghostwriter, you know? Oh my god I can't _believe_ this is happening. One million five hundred thousand dollars!" She screamed once again.

Trevor's jaw was practically touching the floor, as he stood there just as speechless as I was.

"Well, if you don't mind me asking," I had to ask, "What's with your hair and-"

"Oh, don't worry about me, baby!" she said, "I was up early this morning still celebrating! But after work today I'll be on a shopping spree, hopefully even moving to California like I've always dreamed."

"Wait!" Trevor put up and hand, "You're moving?"

"Oh, most definitely!" She beamed, "With this money I'll be buying myself a nice big house in San Fran, ready to rumble and go to all the decent parties! And yes, you are invited. Oh!" she reached into her pocket and pulled out another check, "This one's for you."

Trevor was confused but accepted the paper nonetheless, his mouth agape and his eyes widening at the sight before him.

"M…I…You…Myr…I…W…Oh my god!" He finally blurted out.

"A full fear year paid engagement to go to Strayer University?" I couldn't believe it.

"Myrna-how-when…did…why…thank you!" He pulled her into a hug, jumping and down in excitement.

"Now you go there and become a cop, okay?" She said after they separated, Trevor nodding excitedly.

"I have to tell my parents!" He ran to the phone in the back room, yelling on his way there.

I hugged Myrna, "My god, I am so happy for-"

She snuck something into my pocket.

I pulled it out, "No, Myrna, I-"

"Sweet, please take it," she pushed my hands to my chest, "You've helped me through so much and besides you can use it to get out of this town. Start a new bakery, but something nice for your boyfriend, and most importantly," she waved her own check in the air, "use it to love and enjoy the most of life."

With complete and true appreciation I pulled her back into the hug, Trevor cheering into the phone to his parents in the back room.

"Take the rest of the day off," I told her once we separated, "or your entire life."

She smiled, "Thanks, but I want to help out around here still."

"Well then at least fix up your hair and look half decent please," I said to her, "You look like you haven't slept."

She nodded and pulled me once again into the hug, "Thank you so much for everything, SweetTooth."

I kissed her cheek, "And thank you too, Myrna."

We separated and she cheered again, heading to the door and bumping into an incoming costumer.

"Oh, so sorry." Myrna said.

"It's fine." The costume quietly said. I did a double take when I saw whom it was that stepped into the bakery.

She put her purse on the table, "My usual, please?"

I smiled. Putting my apron on, "Two muffins coming right up."

Trudy smiled back and I put them in the oven to warm, her surprisingly making conversation.

"I heard you went up to New York," she said as I came back up from bending to the stove, "How was it?"

"Well, I didn't get to sightsee much," I put my arms on the counter, "but it was definitely an experience. Ever been?"

"Unfortunately yet fortunately no," she said, "My parents live up there and if I go there I'll never be allowed to leave."

She chuckled. I chuckled back.

I hesitated, but it was necessary to bring it up, "Trudy…about the night that we-"

She put her hand up, "Sweet, please don't say anymore. It's ancient history," she put her hand down, "Besides, I'm glad I could be a part of helping you with your life. And…in a sense you really helped me out with mine."

"Oh yeah?" I cocked my eyebrow, the timer on the stove dinging.

"Yeah," she said, pulling the exact money out her purse, "You helped me realize that my life was stuck and that I was meeting all the wrong men," she paused, "Not you, though. You were never the wrong man. I mean, you kind of convinced me to go and do what I care to do no matter what anyone says…This is based off of your relationship with the," she lowered her voice, "other man."

"I see," I smiled, "4.15 please."

"That much lower?" she handed me the 8.30 nonetheless, "Turns out you really did lower the price."

I nodded, "So what you gonna do now?"

She put the change I handed her in her purse, "Well, I quit my job the other day and now I am off to Jersey."

I cocked an eyebrow, "Jersey? Why Jersey?"

"My aunt has a farm there that I want to work at," she closed her purse, "As you know I've been very active with natural foods and so on and I think a place like a ranch or a farm will help me.

"You know, the only sad thing about this is that I have no idea what else I really want to do with my life…but that's what you showed me, Sweet. You showed me to take action and experience and question things in my life so I can learn more of myself."

"I never meant to learn it and another's expense." I said sadly.

She joined me in that bit of sadness for a moment. She looked down at her purse, "Sweet…as much as it hurt when you left me there I…I've never been happier."

She smiled that Trudy smile, the smile that I used to see every morning, and the smile that told me, 'the sun's up. Time to make some pastries'.

She was a good woman, Trudy. As much as I lied and used her, though, I couldn't regret it now knowing that she was happy. Of course a part of me told me she was lying and inside she truly hated my guts, but unlike me Trudy was an honest person; a good person, and she would definitely make some man very happy, just as happy as she is one day.

She checked her watch, "Well, I have to go. My plane leaves in a couple hours and I still have to pack."

We looked at each other for a moment, my hand slowly taking hers, the Band-Aid still on her finger from the night we had our date. Gently I kissed her hand, my lips strangely enough remembering the warm feeling of her nature-loving and caring hands. Her soft skin brushed against my lips the way they did the first time this happened.

Once I looked back up at her she was smiling, "I'll miss you, Sweet."

Her fingers curled into the crevasses between mine, me smiling, "Best of luck to you."

She picked up the bag of muffins with her free hand, "Ditto."

Our hands separated and she left, the door leaving a marvelously comforting breeze in her place.

Trevor came in from the back room, a smile still on his face.

"Where'd Myrna go?" He asked, kissing the paper.

"She went to get spruced up," I felt my hand, remembering the way Trudy had written her address on it.

"Well my mom wants me to marry her," he said, "Can you imagine? Me and Myrna together in a house with kids and-"

He began to laugh, "I can't even finish the visual!" he suddenly made a disgusted face and stopped laughing, "I just thought of another one."

I smiled and felt the check in my pocket, another jingle at the door as another costumer came in.

Myrna came back about an hour later, her hair fixed and her clothes now neat and organized. She was still in a delightful mood, thus the rest of the day was rather pleasant. People were in there all day thus the celebration would have to wait.

It was nearing the end of the day and I was definitely ready to go home. A final costumer stood there, a few people scattered about the few tables we had in the bakery.

"Mrs. Harris," I spoke louder, "We don't have anymore pumpkin muffins. You'll have to come back t-"

"What?" She asked, squinting her eyes through her glasses.

I was at a loss, "I said-"

"There are no more pumpkin muffins, ma'am," Myrna jumped in, "You'll have to come back tomorrow."

She nodded and smiled, "Thank you, kind lady," she waved to me, "Have a nice evening, Jack!"

I turned to her, "Bless you."

"Hone, I just wanna get the hell out o' here before the stores close!" She said, wiping down the counter.

The few people at the tables began to leave, Myrna constantly eye-balling them in hopes that they would go so she could too. Trevor hummed as he whipped the frosting, the table costumers still there. After a while of humming he began singing _Dark side of the Moon_ as loud as he could, the people at the table finally leaving. Once they did Myrna kissed Trevor on the cheek and cheered, removing her hair net and rushing to the back room.

"My god," he rubbed his cheek, "My mom's dreams are coming true."

I smiled and called the stove, Trevor quickly putting a smile back on his face.

As I scrubbed the inside of the oven as the door chimed, Myrna groaning in disapproval.

Before I could turn to see them, though Myrna pranced by, her coat and hat on as she headed out, "Whoever it is, you boys deal with it," I heard her open the door, "I got some money to spend!"

She shut the door and left, me coming up from the ground just as a familiar voice asked, "Is this a bad time?"

I didn't aspect to see her in the bakery, but there she was, cocking an eyebrow and holding her son in her arms.

"It's never a bad time for my favorite flower," I smiled, walking in front of the counter and giving her a hug, "Nice to have you here, Iris."

"Glad to be," she smiled, "I was just walking with Coca around town and finally decides to come in and try that SweetTooth Supreme everyone's been talking about."

"Well, you're just in luck," I smiled, "'cause one SweetTooth Supreme is coming right up."

Trevor, not wanting to stay but wanting to meet another friend of mine, came from behind the counter to Myrna, extending his hand to her.

'Trevor Malone." He smiled.

"Iris Curtis," she shook, "and this is Coca."

"_Coca_?" I heard him ask.

"Yup, and he has a twin sister named Cola, but she's at home with her father." Iris said. Trevor turned to me and I shrugged, a smug grin on my face.

They proceeded to make conversation for a while, Iris seemingly intrigued by his high hopes to become a police officer and Trevor interested in her children's names.

I took the frosting Trevor had whipped earlier and put it next to the oven as I waited for the cake to finish.

I sat down next to the two of them, Trevor somehow taking that as his queue to leave.

"It was nice meeting you, Mrs. Curtis," he smiled, "Give your husband my regards."

"Nice meeting you too, Mr. Malone," she replied, "Good luck with Strayer."

"I'll be needing it," he muttered as he headed to the door, "See you tomorrow, Sweet."

"You too, Trev." I called.

Once he left it was just Iris and I, Iris looking around the bakery.

"My god, I can't believe I've never been in here." She sighed, continuing to admire the room.

"Well, the cake's gonna take a while," I said, "but I don't mind it. I like the company."

She smiled and we began to talk.

I told her about how Two-Bit has been improving, and apparently Darry the same.

"I guess that talk they had really worked out, huh?" She smiled, little Coca asleep in her arms.

"Yeah," I leaned back in my chair, "Guess it did."

There was a pause as I stared at Coca, picking out his looks and his similarities to his mother and father. How he had Darry's hair and Iris's straight nose. How his skin was like a cream or a frosting. The way his lips were pink as cherries.

He was a combination of two people in love.

After seeing Trudy I needed to have someone answer this for me, "Iris…when did you know that you wanted to marry Darry?"

She looked up from her baby to me, slightly unsure of what I had asked. Then, after a pause she smiled and said, "As much as I would love to say, 'from the moment I laid eyes on him' in all honesty it was our third date."

"What about the third date?" I asked, "Sorry if I'm being nosy."

"Not at all," she smiled, lowering her voice a little so Coca could sleep, "Well…I don't really know, Sweet. All I know is that when I saw him that evening something told me that he was the one for me. I just…I just didn't want to be without him."

I began to recall the day I concluded that I had loved Two-Bit. The day Pony and Darry were getting ready to head up to Maryland and me and him had settled down for some cake and TV.

_We watched Mickey and ate cake for what seemed like hours, but neither of us wanted to stop._

_Soon, though, the program changed to some other show, Two-Bit angrily dinking more into the couch and turning off the TV._

_He looked at me making an obnoxiously angered face and I made it back._

I smiled at the memory of making faces with him.

_At that point exactly I fully understood what Ms. Mathews was talking about._

_It wasn't just the perfection. It was the pure and simple fact that I didn't want to look away from his smile. I didn't want to leave his presence._

_I didn't want to leave him._

It was true. It was very true that that was the day I realized I loved him. It was true that that was possibly one of the best days of my life.

My god I never wanted that kiss to end.

Looking over at Iris she was smiling at me.

"What?" I asked.

She sighed, "Oh, Sweet, you have so many questions about love and life. And frankly not many people can answer them. Just…I know how cliché this might sound, but all _you_ can do, Sweet, is follow your heart," she looked down at her son, "and wonderful things are to happen."

I smiled at her and her son. She made him with a man she loved, unlike my mother. She created two gorgeous children with someone she plans to spend the rest of her days with.

And she's happy with that person.

I never wanted Two-Bit to get out of my grasp. Not a day in my life could I imagine us not together, even though he had been changed by the experience he had gone through. It had changed me. It had changed all of us.

And before I knew it, I was more prepared for the biggest decision I would ever make in my life.


	30. Future Awaiting

There was no reason to wait.

Or was there?

At the time I really didn't consider it much.

_Do it, Sweet. You have nothing to fear. You should do it. You must. After everything the two of you have been through._

I sighed heavily and continued to check on the gravy, nervously going through everything in my head.

_So, is spontaneous good?_ I asked myself. _I mean, it helped Trudy, right? So why wouldn't it help me? Is this just another way of dealing with my guilt? Is this a desperate attempt to have him fully forgive me and keep everything the way it is? Answer me! Ah, hell, whom am I even yelling at?_

Rubbing my hands together I waited for his mother to drive him home. I needed to have this happen. It just made sense to me but at the same time it seemed completely random.

_Pony hasn't had that much luck in the romantic field, nor has Dallas. But Darry and Steve have been doing fine._

Why I was judging my romance life based off others I'll never be able to explain. Everything was just coming in and out of my head like anxious relatives going to visit their family in other parts of the country during a holiday weekend.

Trudy told me spontaneous was good, and technically so did Iris and Steve. I never planned to fall in love with Two-Bit and I never planned to be gay. I never planned to have the rough affair with Steve and I never knew how much it would benefit me.

My god the only thing that hadn't been spontaneous during that year was my lies. They were planned and coordinated with the lying skill I had acquired through series of events. I convinced people I was a _woman_ for god's sake.

This I guess was the time that most people felt that they needed some coordination in what they did and how they proceeded with doing it. I mean, it was something that just seemed important, you know?

The oven dinged and I pulled the meatloaf out, the chocolate cake still being baked for dessert.

_Calm down, Sweet._ I placed it on the table. _It'll all be fine._

I tasted the sauce just as the door opened, my nerves getting the better of me thus my hand getting scorched.

"Sweet?" Two-Bit heard my yelp and ran over.

"I'm fine!" I said, "I just…ow…I just need some ice of something…"

Before Two-Bit could go anywhere Ms. Mathews was already there with an ice packet on my hand, sitting me down on the couch.

"Bless you." I smiled.

"Isn't she the best?" Two-Bit asked, coming over to the couch, "You okay, baby?"

"He'll be fine," Ms. Mathews handed the ice packet to Two-Bit, "and unfortunately I have to leave. I need to book my flight back to Tulsa."

"I'm gonna miss you, mom," Two-Bit sighed as he continued to keep the ice on my hand, "Why do you gotta leave?"

She stood and made a pouty face, "'cause I'm runnin' out o' money and somethin' tells me I've been robbed," she kissed his forehead, "I'll be here for a while longer. Don't miss me yet."

She kissed my forehead and I smiled, "Thanks, Ms. Mathews."

"Any time," she smiled, heading to the door, "Keep that ice on your hand. Two-Bit, I'll be back to pick you up for work tomorrow, 'kay?"

"Okay. Love you." He called.

She waved from the tiny gap in the door as she closed it, "Love you too!"

The door closed and my nerves were back. It was just me and Two-Bit alone in the house. I had no idea what to do or where to take this, but when Two-Bit smiled at me I felt more settled.

"Hello," he said, "You startled me there. You feeling better?"

"Much." I said, and of course I had to start thinking of Trudy.

_No. Tonight is about you and Two-Bit and no one else._

Part of his recovery, which was recommended by his mother apparently, was getting back into showing affection, especially romantic, thus he kissed my cheek, the feeling so pleasuring I blushed.

"When's dinner gonna be ready?" He asked, switching his left hand to his right hand when he held the pack down.

"Well now that the chef has been harmed," I said, Two-Bit grinning, "the sue chef will have to take over."

He nodded and headed over to the kitchen, me holding the pack down myself. The old Two-Bit would've made a big deal about having to go cook the meal himself, but the simple fact that he could even smile again, let alone kiss my cheek was satisfying enough.

I closed my eyes and tried to figure out what to do. The more I thought about it, though, the more I convinced myself that it was a bad idea.

_It's only been a month after his time with Darry. Maybe it would be a good idea to…_

Waiting might make it too late, and God knows what's going to happen in the future.

Time is now.

I stood and placed the ice pack in the freezer as Two-Bit looked at all the pots in front of him scratching his head.

"How much food are you making?" He cocked his eyebrow, the way he always thinks.

"Just some meatloaf with gravy, a special sauce, and vegetables," I said, "Oh, and there's a little surprise in the oven for you."

He would've made a crack about whom he knocked up, but he smiled and nodded, never touching the oven door.

"So," he turned off all the knobs, "let's just-"

"Keith."

He looked over at me, his eyebrow cocked and his face rather bland.

I didn't know how to start or what to say or if it was right. Even though he was better he still wasn't Two-Bit. He was Keith. He was Keith Mathews.

_But, Trudy said spontaneous is good._

_Iris told me to follow my heart._

_And I knew I loved him years ago._

"Yeah?" He asked, his curl bouncing lightly on his forehead.

_You're already at this point, Sweet….just…just go on…_

I swallowed, my thoughts somewhat organizing themselves into sections, "Keith, I've loved you for a long time by now. Your mother told you that love was when you didn't wanna leave that person, right? That it was a gut feeling, right? Well, going off what your mother has said, I…Why, Keith Mathews I love you.

"I never want to leave you, Two-Bit," _I didn't want to leave him_, "I want to stay with you for as long as I can," _I sighed, 'My stomach hurts',_ "I want to stay here with you during the seemingly impossible hardships we have gone through," '_Funny. So does mine…' he shrugged, 'I ain't a doctor, so how we gon' fix it?'_, "and I think that with you by my side," _I don't think you need a medical degree for this cure…'_, "we can deal with everything together."

_And this is the first time in my life I made a decision I was sure about._

I got on my knee and grabbed his hands, "Keith Two-Bit Mathews…will you marry me?"

He stared at me, his eyes wide and his eyebrow still cocked. He was like a statue, a stone statue.

_Now you've done it._ I felt so much regret. _You've mortified him._

I started to stand and had this urge to apologize, but both were stopped by his vast, familiar laugh.

_He's laughing at me?_ I didn't know how to respond.

He kept laughing and I got to my feet, watching him with such a big amount of confusion that it was hard to be mad at him.

I somehow managed to ask, "Why are you laughing?" I don't know if I intended to sound harsh.

He realized how insulting his laugh must've been and stopped, clearing his throat after chuckling once more.

There was a pause, "Sorry," he couldn't keep the smile off his face, though, "It's just…" he chuckled again, "My god," he pulled something out of his pocket, "I guess it is true that…great minds think alike."

And to my shock he handed me a ring.

I covered my mouth in utter surprise, "Oh my god…" I looked back up at him, "How…when-"

"After you got me talkin' to Darry," he explained, "I started thinkin' about how honest you been with me, ya know? How you opened up to me about what ya were goin' through. I thought to myself, 'now there's a guy I wanna stay with. There's a guy I like.'

"The biggest thing, though, that made me wanna stay with you is…well, you stuck by me, Sweet. I wanted to thank you all that time after I was…well, you know. And the thing was that you never gave up. You kept pestering me so I'd talk to you and you wouldn't let me get away with…with not being myself.

"I know I've changed. _Believe me_, I've noticed, but that never changed my feelings for you. I'm getting better because of you and because you've stayed by me. You're making me better by loving me.

"Sweet, you just stood by me, you know? It was a scary and changing time for me and you…were just there. At first I told myself that that was what friends did but I _love_ you…and I knew that you loved me and _that's_ why you stayed. It wasn't friendship, even though we started out that way. It was because you loved me and was willing to do anything for me…and my mom was definitely right."

He sighed, "And because of you I know what love is."

I didn't know what to say. I was so touched. We had both been on the same page all along. We had both loved each other this whole time, even while he was in his dark state.

I looked down at the ring and smiled, my eyes turning misty.

Looking back up at him he shrugged, "So does that mean you need an answer from me?"

I wiped my eyes, "No, I need an answer from you. I _did_ ask first."

He came closer to me, sighing, "Sweet, ever since what happened I don't know _how_ to love you without remembering the pain I experienced there."

"We can find out together the way we did when this whole thing started," I explained, my eyes becoming watery again, "I didn't know how to love a man, let alone anyone. But we cared enough that we figured it out, and all we have to do is learn together again the way we did the first time," I took his hands, "and I'm willing to fall in love with you all over again if you are."

His own eyes weren't wet, but a tear came down his left cheek as he smiled at me, "I'm willing to too."

And, I couldn't control myself; I pulled his face to mine and kissed his warm lips. The lips I first fell in love with; the lips of my one and only love.

The lips that taught me what love it.

He picked me up bridal style and spun me in the kitchen, me laughing as the whole room blurred by my gaze.

He stopped and we made eye contact, our noses touching.

"You're my SweetTooth." He cooed.

"And you're my Two-Bit," I replied, my lips pressing against his once more, "I could teach how to love me again in another way if…if you're ready…"

He cocked his eyebrow, "I just proposed to a man I most likely won't ever get a chance to marry," he smiled, "I think I'm ready."

"I'm just making sure," I said, "I mean, y-"

He stuck his tongue out and made ppbbbbfff sound that you make when you blow on your tongue, "Doesn't matter what _happened_, Sweet. It only matters what's _happening_ and what's _going to happen_," his hand went through my hair, "…and I think something I've missed is going to start in the next ten seconds."

"Make it five and you've got a deal." I smiled. He purred and nuzzled my neck, making me laugh uncontrollably.

And, I know it was _our_ night, but I started thinking about Trudy. I thought about her Ponyboy and Dallas and how they technically restarted their lives after something changed…something somewhat drastic. Trudy had an epiphany, Pony's girlfriend betrayed him, and Dallas was beaten and accused of being gay.

However, they all learned to move on.

And so did Darry after his beating. So did Myrna after what happened in New York. And Steve after what happened between him and me. And Trevor and Two-Bit.

I guess we were all changing and adapting to life.

And the more I think about it I realize that I most likely didn't know all the things I knew, like that me trying to have sex with Two-Bit would lead to my guilt and thus he'd get beaten; that my night with Trudy would actually be beneficial; that Dallas would learn to accept and forgive me.

In fact there are too many things I don't know, and one of them includes the future and what that may hold.

But I knew what my future holds.

My future holds love, kindness, honesty, and true happiness. Sure, there will be some lies and bent truths every so often, but that's not all that I would saw in my future the way I did a couple months ago.

I saw an eternity with a good man and good friends and family in my future with all the others as bonuses. I saw the sun and the moon starting and ending my days with a smile.

What was happening and what was going to happen were the only things that really mattered. What happened is what we learn from, and I had definitely learned from that past year. I learned more about myself, about love, and about truth.

I learned where I belonged.

Two-Bit and I were ready to move on into a newer and more gorgeous future after a horrendous experience; we're moving on.

And with the love and the life we'd have we would fight for each other, no matter how many bits of hair were in the plastic bag. We would lie for each other and we would kill for each other.

And with this knowledge my thoughts were stopped once Two-Bit carried me to the bedroom, closing the door romantically with his foot.

But so many other doors were being opened.

…And I couldn't wait to explore them.


End file.
